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Parenting
Is this normal?
I know a family with 3 kids. Ages: 1, 3, and 7. The parenting skills of this family obviously work for them but seem so strange to me. I cannot say something to them due to the relationship I have with them (it would be awkward to me), but I wanted to vent.. So here it goes!
The rules that bug me the most would be that 1) the children can have snacks WHEN EVER they want. 2) If they do not like lunch fix them something else (even if you already cooked something!). 3) They have no discipline style. If the child does something, they mostly "overlook it". Unless it's something "serious".
I have had their 3 year old be a smart mouth with me on many occasions, while the parents aren't home and I am with them. She will call me a "mean witch" all the time! She tells me no when I tell her what she needs to do, like clean up play room. (To me it is very important that a child who is old enough to understand these things, which she is old enough in my eyes, to do things like this. She needs to know she can't have everyone do what she doesn't want to do.) She also tells made-up stories to her parents about me. For instance, one day she kicked me and pulled my hair so I told her that wasn't nice and if she did it again she would have to get time-out. She went back and told her mother that she was in time-out for no reason and her mother was upset with me!
I don't understand how you can "overlook" your child being rude to another adult. It is shocking to me that you wouldn't punish them. Especially when you have been told more than once that the child keeps doing it.
Sorry for posting so long... I didn't think I would vent this much. Thanks for reading and I would love advice. Thanks ladies.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is this normal?
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
My child is almost 6 months old...
Don't get me wrong, I understand that I would probably let a lot slide once my child was of age, but I would never let my child talk ugly to other adults if it was happening constantly and they adult kept telling me it was happening.
I am just venting, not trying to dog them out, or have others pick me apart for feeling this way.
~Lisa
Mum to Owen and Lucas
What do you want advice on?
If you don't like them, don;t be friends with them.
Novel idea.
~Lisa
Mum to Owen and Lucas
I more so meant "advice" as other's opinions on this situation. So I apologize for saying advice. I have a perfectly fine relationship with the parents but when I bring something about the children being rude, it makes it awkward which is not what I want. I just want them to know what happened.
But thanks for the novel idea that I would've gone with if I was having the thought that was the only solution. Clearly I don't want to lose a friendship over this...
This is what I do. In my opinion a child at that age should be disciplined for misbehaving. First time: Tell them whats wrong and that they shouldn't do that. Second time: Warning. Third time: Time-out.
The only time I had the child fib was about time-out and I was meaning to tell the parent but forgot because we got into the conversation about the 1 year old and it just completely left my mind. It just kind of made me feel horrible that the mother was mad that I told her daughter that she shouldn't kick or pull my hair.
Thanks
I watch them whenever needed and I am available.
I didn't realize it would happen every time I watched them, but since it is I might have to do this if it happens again. Thanks!
Mom, are you stalking me on the Internet?
Oh wait, you said three kids. Never mind...
Stop watching their kids. Simple as that.
Be honest with the parents - tell them your expectations, and if it doesn't go well, end the babysitting part of the relationship. Sure, that my also end the friendship, but it doesn't sound like a great friendship to start with if they believe their child over you and they allow their children to treat you in this manner.
I would never allow my kids to act like that, nor would I allow my kids to see other children treating me like that. So now your child can be your out. She will certainly mimick their behavior soon if you don't get a handle on their behavior or stop having them in your care.
Honestly, you are coming off as a know-it-all and like you are trying to prove you are the better mother. Perhaps, this attitude is present on those occasions in which you are babysitting and your attitude is influencing the children's. My son as the 2nd child has learned some not so choice phrases ("I am going to kick you out of the house" from a friend of a friends 2nd grader). During one big playdate he learned this (first time meeting this 2nd grader) and I could totally see him saying it someone who is treating him in a way that HE feels is unfair. I'd be damned if he would say it to me though. I don't demand (as it sounds you do) my kids to pick up, we pick up together and generally try to make it a game. I find better result that way. Therefore, my son would see it unfair that you are being so demanding. To me their "rules," though not my choice, aren't all that bad and if it works for them- fine. They aren't your concern unless you are babysitting. Your choices are to quit babysitting or step up: my supervision, my rules but I would present it in a much nicer, fun way.
Im not trying to come off as the better mother. Not at all! I am saying I don't understand why they haven't talked with her about it. I never make the kids pick up by themselves. I treat their kids like my own, as I am very close with the family. I tell them we all pick up together and they usually race to see who finishes faster. I would never tell them in a demanding way. I should've added that I help with clean up.. That's my mistake. I also never go against their rules, as I feel that is disrespectful!
I did not get a 'know it all' sense from the OP.
Anyway, I would try to limit having this kid at my house. Honestly. Making up lies about you would freak me out.When the kid is there, just stick to your rules.
I personally wouldn't say anything to the mom bc this is apparently her discipline style. I know plenty of families they are loosey-goosey like this. I still love my friends who parent differently from me -- otherwise, I wouldn't have a lot of friends! But our playdates tend to be outside and as a group.
Im not saying the 3 yr old isn't normal... I'm asking if it's normal to let a children treat an adult rudely after your told numerous times they treat someone that way! "let's clean the playroom" is not my way of getting them to do it.also, I don't have to tell them where the toys go, as they already know and put them in the correct spot. They are very smart for their ages! The 7 yr old is usually at school but on days that she isn't, she is a big helper!
I'm confused.
Did the OP change SNs?
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
OMG I don't realize this but my sister was on her account on my iPhone last. I originally posted from my computer & forgot I wasn't the last on my phone to get on. Everything posted back under kayleigh was mine once I started using phone. Thanks for posting or I wouldve never realized, as I just posted a post on 6-9 months from my phone. Geez!