Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Now that is why I want a VBAC...
Sarah - 12/23/2008
Alex - 9/30/2011
"I say embrace the total geek in yourself and just enjoy it. Life is too short to be cool." - Shirley Manson, Garbage
Just FWIW, there's no way I could have been doing that 8 days after my VBAC. It was a good 2.5 weeks before I could really walk around without any pain, to say nothing of chasing a child around.
GL though, I hope you have a VBAC and easy recovery.
Do you mind me asking about your VBAC recovery? Like the PP said obviously every recovery is different but I've seen you mention before about your recovery being hard, did you tear a lot or were you really swollen? I know each c-section recovery is different but mine was actually a piece of cake recovery compared to some, I felt better after 2 weeks and was in no pain. I was a little sore if I went for a long walk or something but that was it. Just wondering and I hope you don't mind my asking!
With #2, I felt SO much better than I did after my c/s. But, I had just had a baby. I way over did it because of how good I felt compared to my c/s. I was up walking around the grocery store less than 1 week pp, and I think that was too soon (I had a 2nd degree tear).
However, 1 week pp after my c/s I couldn't even get off the couch or walk to the bathroom without assistance.
For me, the recovery was a night and day difference... but 8 days pp seems a little crazy to be chasing a toddler at gymnastics!
Oh of course. I just hear a lot of stories like the one you posted and I was frustrated when I wasn't back on my feet that quickly after my VBAC. I'm sorry to hear you were in pain for so long after your c/s--that is awful and I hope things go much better for you with baby #2.
I don't mind at all. I had a ridiculously easy c/s recovery. The only time I was ever in pain was once when I forgot to take my meds on time, but then it was a lot of pain. I had zero pain with the meds and I stopped needing them at all 5 days pp. I never had trouble going up stairs, getting out of bed, laughing or any of those things like I hear from other c/s moms. I was exhausted and bowel movements were pretty excruciating for the first month or two. Emotionally, I felt pretty shell-shocked.
My VBAC recovery was very different. In the short-term, it was much easier. After I gave birth, I stood up and walked down the hall. I never needed more than an ibuprofen for pain and I was OK even if I took nothing. Bowel movements were much easier but it stung a lot when I peed. But even though my pain level was much lower, it took longer for it to go away. I remember going to BRU at 2 weeks postpartum and getting sore just from walking around a few sections. But by 3 weeks that was no longer an issue. I had a very small first degree tear and some swelling, but I don't think it was an unusual amount for a first vaginal birth. I don't think I had a hard recovery--it was pretty normal. And I am comparing it to an unusually easy c/s recovery. Emotionally, I felt so so much better after my VBAC.
HTH
I understand your frustration because that is how I feel when I hear about "easy" C-Section recoveries. I've mentioned this before on this board but I still feel like there was something wrong with me because it took so long for me to feel better. I would go back to the OB and she would say everything has healed perfectly and I was like WTF? this is not any where close to perfect. But I also didn't bounce back from oral surgery that fast either so I just don't think surgery is something my body handles all that well. The unknown regarding recovery from a VBAC or future C-Section is a bit unnerving but I just have to file it away in the "wait and see" folder along with a lot of other things regarding this birth. Thanks for explaining your VBAC recovery in greater detail.
I'll chime in since my recovery is in process.
I had a 2nd degree tear. I'm 11 days pp and am still taking it pretty easy. I could probably do more, but I'm taking it slow. I've been out on drives for fresh air and to pick up a pizza over the weekend. I'm not as stir-crazy to get out this time, but I am planning to go buy some thank you notes today. I will say the emotional side of things this time is what has been worlds better. Even though I've had some discomfort post-delivery, I don't have the sadness I had immediately following my first birth. I suppose that's been the best thing for me - just being happy this time with no regrets.
That's wonderful to know! Honestly that's one reason I am hoping to have a successful VBAC, the emotional recovery is really what I would like. I would say my c-section recovery was like yours and I could only hope my VBAC would go that well too! Thank you for sharing!!
Dx with endo & blocked left tube - TTC #1 for 29 cycles before miracle BFP, #2 - Surprise!!
My TTC/PG blog / Panda Phenomenon Explained
I agree 100% with you on this. DH's grandfather passed away recently and SIL had given birth a week prior. She drove 4 hours to the funeral and didn't look or act like she had just had a baby. We had to walk about half a block from the funeral home to the church. Her husband was a pall bearer, so I offered to carry the baby in the carrier for her on the walk, and she looked at me like I was crazy.
There is NO way I would've been able to travel that far, walk that far, or carry DS in his carrier at 8 days pp.