- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
January 2012 Moms
Vent - Rant - I know something strange is going on
Okay, I had a best guy friend who is in the military. We have been friends for 12 years. He recently got his GF knocked up. And she made him stop all communication with me.
A. I am a happily married woman with my own life.
B. We live half across the country from each other.
C. We have never been anything more than friends.
So I was completely upset when he told me. But I just kept my cool. I tried to act like I knew where she was coming from.. She is 21 y/o - stripper. Yes..that's right, a stripper. (I am guessing not anymore) Now keep in mind, I don't know her - try not to be too judgy, but I can't help it. And to keep it real, him and I only talked about 5 times throughout the year, just to catch up and what not. My husband nor I see a problem with this, as he was my friend way before I met my husband.
Here is the story:
My husband and I were TTC in April and were succesful (yay!) so I am 24 weeks. In April, my friend and his GF get in a HUGE fight, break up - she runs to her EXs house and he finds her there...yadda yadda yadda. He takes leave from military goes home for a few weeks, he comes back and they rekindle their relationship. Middle of May, he tells me she is pregnant. I see today her due date is the same as mine. I found out I was pregnant the day of my missed period, and I know my conception date. (Like I said, we were TTC)...Get where this is going?!
Now, don't think I am going to run and tell him that I think this baby might not be his. I know every females cycle is different. And that is not my position, but it's killing me to have this feeling in the back of my mind. He really is such a great guy (and you can judge him too - bc I do with his actions).
We are still friends on FB, so I see what's going on in his life. We just can't "talk"..
I really don't know why I am typing this out. I feel like I had to let someone else in on what is bothering me...
You can ignore me now. lol.
ETA: I think I am the only person that truly knows what happened between them in the breakup and what not. I know he didn't tell his friends and family.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Vent - Rant - I know something strange is going on
That is a sticky situation. If she doesn't want you two talking in the first place, she may try to convince him that it's a lie and you're being jealous somehow.
However, if you respect him as a friend, it may be at least worth mentioning. Keep in mind though that ovulation periods are different, so it could legitimately be his child. But if you don't bring up the possibility for something shady going on, who will?
Best of luck.
I may have an unpopular opinion here, but:
It's their relationship and if she isn't comfortable with him talking to you then you should respect that. Their issues are their issues. It has nothing to do with you. And when it comes to the child maybe not being his, you shouldn't say anything. You already said that you only talk like 5 times a year so you aren't as close as you used to be. It's not your place to put doubt in his head about the paternity of that child. If the child is his then you come across as a giant a-hole, not to mention it's just plain wrong to do that to another woman when you only know half the story and not all the details of their relationship. He's a big boy and he knows the situation a lot better than you would. No woman can "make" a man do anything. The only right thing to do is to step away and let him have his relationship. He's going to do what's best for him and if he's stopped communication, then you should just respect it and move on with your own life with your husband. You lost a friend, but ultimately it was his choice and there isn't anything you can do about that.
Make a pregnancy ticker
Did she tell him to stop communicating with you AFTER they found out she was pregnant? If so, I am just curious if she didn't ask him to stop talking to you because she knew you would figure it out, being a woman, versus him talking with guy friends....
The way I see it, you really have nothing to loose by telling him your suspicions. He's either not going to be your friend because of her telling him not to be or he's not going to be your friend because you tried to tell him to watch out.
You can even go about it in a way that just adds suspicion to his mind. Like "hey I noticed your gf is due on XYZ. That's around when I'm due and we conceived on XYZ date...." Then find some way to word something that would help him realize that with that due date she would have conceived around the same time as you and that was the time period they were broken up.
I'm protective of my friends and I would hate for one of my guy friends to get fooled into believe a kid was theirs when it really wasn't or possibly could not be theirs.
This exactly was what I was trying to say. I think it came out wrong though. >.<;
This. In the beginning stages of SO & I's relationship, EVERYONE tried to get involved. My family, his family, my friends (they were the worst!), etc. & it really hurt our relationships not only with each other, but with our loved ones as well. They all tried to tell us how this relationship wasn't going to work, how he or I did this or that in the past, blah blah blah. We argued because you never want to betray your family, but you also don't want to betray your partner, so we were stuck in the middle of this stupid drama & it was very stressful. We both eventually told everyone that we were going to be together because we're in love, & that we didn't care what they said. The unwanted comments & advice brought so many arguments. They finally stopped, but what I'm getting at is it's just not always a good idea to interfere.. In the end, if someone loves somebody, they will be with them no matter what other people say.
Make a pregnancy ticker