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D.C. Area Babies
When are kids too old to go into the opposite sex's locker room?
DD is going to swim lessons and DH and I take turns taking her. When I go to the women's locker room, I think nothing of it if I see little boys in there. DH does not feel comfortable taking DD into the men's locker room so he uses the "family" bathroom. Today he was complaining because he had to wait 20 minutes for a woman and her son to get out of the family bathroom so he could use it. Part of me doesn't care if he takes her in the men's locker room but it bothers him.
I remember being in Copenhagen and going to a museum geared towards children. There was an exhibit about the body and I remember being shocked when I saw two life-sized photos of a naked man and naked woman in the middle of the exhibit. I do not think that would happen here in the US. It's as if we don't care if there are sexualized photos and images *everywhere* but yet we would never show our kids a picture of naked adults to explain anatomy as part of educating them. (I'm making a very general statement here but you get the idea).
So, it got me thinking...how do you feel about your kids seeing the opposite sex naked. How old is too old to be in the opposite sex's locker room? When will you cover up and start making sure your kids don't see you without clothes on? Also, is it different for boys seeing women naked vs. girls seeing men naked?
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Re: When are kids too old to go into the opposite sex's locker room?
Right now, I don't "cover" myself up when I'm changing clothes, getting out of the shower, etc. I don't flaunt myself around but I also don't lock my daughter out of the bedroom. I think it would be the same if I had a 2 yo boy. I don't mind if my daughter sees DH in the same way (however, he's more private).
I guess that maybe around age 4ish I would start to be a bit more careful just from the standpoint that I would want to start teaching my kids about privacy so that they will respect other people's privacy and so that they will realize the need to have privacy for themselves. But I don't want to raise them to be ashamed of their bodies so it's a balancing act I guess.
As far as locker rooms, I think that around age 4 I wouldn't want a kid in the opposite sex's locker room. However, if it's a matter of them going into another locker room by themselves or going into an opposite sex's locker room, I would choose safety first (not going into another locker room by themselves).
I do want them to learn about men's and women's bodies and anatomy just to be educated in general while respecting the idea of privacy and that people shouldn't touch you in those places.
Overall, my kids are still young so I'm trying to figure it all out. I'm interested to hear what people with older children say.
Our local rec center has 6 or 7 as the cut off ( I think it for safety reasons that the age is so high).
Personally, I dont care right now, but we are getting to the age where it might be an issue. DH has commented that he would be weirded out if Snuggle was a girl by now, but I'm a little more free-spirited in that regard anyway.
The rec center we go to has a cut off age.
DH has only recently made an effort to cover up while walking from the shower to the BR, and DD #1 will be five in February.
I don't really cover up still. Maybe I will later when DS gets to be 4 or 5.
I have no idea, honestly.
But when DH and I were having a similar discussion, he made a good point (that made me laugh). He said that our sons should not be able to remember what their mom looks like naked once they are a teenager/grownup. He said it could scar them for life if that image pops up at the wrong time...lol.
hmmm, I haven't thought about this at all, but I tend to agree with the pp that said I'd be more concerned about the guys around my daughter while she's changing clothes than what she would see....even if that is being overly-worried, that would be my first thought. I think that's probably what my DH would be thinking too.
I have a double-standard though. I don't think I'd worry about having my son in the women's locker room, other than teaching him about general privacy so that the other women didn't feel like a little kid was staring at them changing, lol.
I guess I also think most women understand the need to bring the opposite-sex kid in the locker room with you (you can't leave him alone, he needs to change, etc.), and maybe have seen it more often, whereas guys might be like "why doesn't the mom take the kid to change in her locker room?!" and not think it all the way through.
bh2720 has a valid point. I accidentally saw my parents getting out of the shower (separately!) like twice, so I was old enough to remember...maybe 4 or 5? I'm a bit scarred from the ordeal just because it was so out of the ordinary.
I don't care about my kids seeing people naked because I think it's easier to explain stuff at this age. Better to get them used to things now so you're not starting from square one when trickier topics come up. However, DD has a mind (and memory) like a sponge, so I've been more careful about covering up (a towel after the shower or whatever) so she learns about bodies being private and such. She currently has no qualms about running around nekkid after a shower, but she is asking for privacy when she uses the bathroom (mostly to keep DS from barging in and not from a sense of modesty).
I don't care so much about my kids seeing me not fully clothed, but DH never lets it happen. I'm currently on the hunt for a nice bathrobe I can throw on at a moment's notice because I'll be attending to #3's needs soon (like dashing out of the shower to attend to a screaming infant) yet will have an audience of a 4.5-year old and a 2-year old.
I agree there's a double standard about girls-in-men's-locker-rooms and boys-in-women's-locker rooms. DH is much more concerned about bringing DD into a men's room than I am - not sure if it's because of what she might see or what any pervy men might think. There's more leeway with sons in locker rooms with moms because other ladies understand not wanting to send your 4-year old into a locker room on his own. I'd say 6 or 7 should be the cut-off for average bathroom and locker room visits. This summer at DD's swim lessons, there were definitely some boys that I raised eyebrows at in the women's shower area because I thought they didn't belong there...but I didn't know the circumstances, so I tried not to judge. I haven't reached a point where it's even a consideration with DS, so I don't know how I'll feel then.
I remember my dad wouldn't take me swimming (indoor pool) until I was 5 and could go by myself. I remember having trouble opening the door and stuff but there was usually someone who would help me.
I take my 4 year old DS swimming and in the locker room. there's no way I would let him go by himself. I do turn my back and have him look away and I will go into a row by ourselves but more often than not, someone will come in our row and undress in front of him anyway and he looks. I think the age cut off is 6. I don't know if he'll be ready at age 5 to go by himself anyway.