Sofia Hart, still has a birth story. — The Bump
Birth Stories

Sofia Hart, still has a birth story.

After all of the prayers, all of the worry, all of the joy, all of the love... 

 Sofia Hart Castillo was born July 10, 2011 at 6:56AM. 1.05 lbs. 10.5 in.  She was perfect.  She lived for a few short precious minutes, and for those minutes she was held by her mother and loved.  She went to live with God feeling only love, which is all we want our babies to feel.

I do not know why, nor do I understand.  They do not know why I was bleeding or contracting, or why everything happened.  She was absolutely perfect.  I had just heard her heartbeat 20 minutes before.  A strong 150s. I can still vividly remember every detail of that morning.  I was still in the hospital, on magnesium at this point to stop contractions, I got up to use the restroom, laid back in bed, and felt the weirdest feeling.  It felt like someone just poped a water balloon inside of my stomach; my water had broken.  Everything happened so fast, and I just remember begging and pleading for them to do something.  "She is moving!! She is kicking!! Why can't you do anything?!....Give me something to make it stop!  I can't stop...something is coming."  My wonderful nurse and mother were the only people there.  They delivered my baby.  She was born.  She was so so beautiful, and so perfect.  Her little lungs just weren't ready.  Two more weeks.  I needed TWO more weeks.  

Today, I would be 23 weeks pregnant with my first and only beautiful baby girl.  But, today was my baby's funeral.

I have no words to describe how I feel.  Those of you who have children can fathom the love a mother has for a child.  I never knew I would love anything of anyone so much.  I am so thankful for that feeling.  I, however, am not thankful for knowing the feeling it is to have your baby taken from you.

There is a song, by Natalie Grant, called Held.  Please listen to it.  There is a part in the beginning that says, "To think that providence would take a child from her mother while she prays, is appalling."  Is how I feel at times.  I prayed, I begged, that everything would be OK.  When it came time, my OK, was not the OK God had in mind.

My mind is so foggy and just numb at the moment, I really do not have much more to say.  I want to leave you with something for Sofia.

One More Time

One more time

When I think of you

I always want one more time

To see you being placed in my arms

One more time 

To hold you and stare at your beautiful face

One more time

To take all the picture I didn't get

One more time

To look at your tiny perfectly formed body

One more time

To see you cradled into my hands

One more time

To hold you close to me

One more time

To touch and smell your delicate skin

One more time

To have you baptized

One more time

To kiss your forehead and tell you goodbye

One more time

I've come to realize that when it comes to you, I will always want

One more time. 


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Re: Sofia Hart, still has a birth story.

  • You are absolutely correct, Sofia Hart HAS a birth story. I am so sorry for your loss. My thought and prayers are with you, your family and your little angel.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    TTC Baby Rob #1 05/07, BFP 06/07, EDD 02/22/08, Baby Jackaroo born via c-section after 22 hours of labor on 02/27/08
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    TTC Baby Rob #2 06/11 BFP 11/06/11 EDD 07/16/12 Natural M/C 11/25/11 @ 6w3d
    Baby Rob #2 (Sloane), in our hearts always.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Here comes Baby Rob #3
     BFP on Cycle 17 09/27/12. EDD 06/04/12! Please Stick Baby! A/S 01/22/13 Baby looking great. Officially TEAM BLUE! Jack is getting a Baby Brother! RCS scheduled for 05/29/13. William Daryll born at 9:59am on 05/29/13. Left ovary and tube removed due to peach sized tumor found during RCS. Pathology came back benign!



  • I am so sorry for your loss. :(

     

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  • I am so very sorry for your loss. You, your family and precious little one are in my prayers. May she be a guardian angel to you and your family.

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       Married 2/24/2008

    BFP #1 3/13/13, MMC 4/17/13, D&C 4/19/13

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  • I am so sorry for your loss! Your story exudes strength and deep grief, and is a beautiful tribute to your baby.

     

    BFP: 10/3/11 Missed m/c: 11/23/11 D&C 11/29/11 BabyFruit Ticker
  • I am so very sorry for the loss of beautiful Sofia and my heart goes out to your and your family. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
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  • Happy birthday, sweet Sofia! Sleep sweetly, hun!
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  • I am so sorry for your loss.

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    BFP 03.26.13 EDD 12.04.13
     

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  • I cannot even begin to imagine what that would be like.. Prayers are with you and your precious baby girl.  :::HUGS:::
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  • I am completely sorry for your loss...your story touched me and moved me to tears, you are an amazingly strong woman to be able to share your story and your daughter lives on in your words...I will be praying for you, your family and your baby girl, may she rest in peace. and may god give you peace...::hugs::
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  • Thank you for sharing your story.  I cried for your loss.  My heart goes out to you and your family.  You are very strong, and I can not image what you must be going through.  Very sorry this happened. 
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  • My heart is breaking for you, I am so sorry for your loss. A similar experience happened to my sweet sister. I cannot imagine your heartache. I cried when I read the words at the end. I don't know why God wanted your angel back so soon but she is with him now. I hope you find Peace.
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  • I am so very sorry for your loss. Little Sofia Hart will watch over you from heaven...like a little sparkly star in the sky.
    Julie... Mommy to a beautiful baby girl & 2 handsome boys!! image. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I do love that Natalie Grant song and I hope that you feel held in god's love and peace. 
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  • Thank you so much for sharing that very touching story with us. I cried for you and your baby and I pray that you will find peace with what happened and know that you will see little Sofia again. God bless you.
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