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Two Under 2
Marcilene1
member
Any advice for for mom who will have 2 under 1?
Marcilene1
member
in Two Under 2
I have a four month old baby girl and just got a bfp. I'm due in June on her birthday and I'm really happy, but I'm also freaking out a little. Any advice? I'm also bed sharing and breastfeeding this LO so I'm worried about how that's going to work out with a newborn in the picture...
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
DS born 5.20.14 at 38 weeks
All are welcome
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Re: Any advice for for mom who will have 2 under 1?
My kids are 16.5 months apart, so a bit bigger of a gap than you'll have, but for me it was important to make sure that DD1 was STTN in her crib and weaned completely. Around 11 months, I dropped her night feedings and that prompted her to start sleeping through the night. I love bedsharing with babies, but I only want one kid in bed at a time. I also want to only be nursing one baby at a time. Getting up with 2 kids in the middle of the night is HARD. My toddler is working on her 2 year molars and mornings around here are sloooow, if I had to get up with her too.
Breastfeeding during pregnancy is not easy. It requires extra calories, can be painful, and some people lose their supply completely. Kellymom has some good resources about it: https://www.kellymom.com/bf/tandem/
I love having two kids close together, but for me, it would have been a lot harder to handle, if I was nursing two kids and had both in bed with me. Mamas need breaks too.
Ours are 12 months apart and we are still all alive, healthy and relatively happy. Ha-ha-ha.
A lot will change for you and your baby over the next year.
My advice... don't worry. It will be a challenge but not one that you can't handle. You will find your way and get into a groove in time.
Enjoy the time the alone time that you have with your first child. Don't let the, "Oh my, you're going to have your hands full!" comments you will inevitably get from everyone phase you.
We have great days, bad day and lots of just "good" or "okay" days. I can't imagine having them at any different gap.
There are lots of benefits to having them so close together. When I brought DD home, DS wasn't jealous, AT ALL. That wouldn't be the case if your child was 2+ when you were bringing home a newborn.
They play together well and get along great. You will be tired and over-worked but your children will have a best friend. Congrats!
I have 3 under 1. They are 11 months apart, and it's been good so far. I'm excited that they'll be so close in age as they grow up.
It's hard in some ways, but easy in some ways too. As PP mentioned, my twins were never jealous of DC3. The twins were in a great routine before DC3 was born. I knew pretty much exactly what to expect during the day. That was a HUGE help with DC3 came home. I'm trying to work him into a good routine that will coincide with the twins'.
Good luck! It'll be tough at time, but really fun too!
For the early days home, plan your day ahead of time. When the kids/baby are napping and you have a second, prep the next meal for your oldest so you're not scrambling with 2 crying kids when they both decide they're starving at the exact same moment. Keep changing stations around the house in the rooms you're commonly in. Wherever you plan on feeding your infant, keep snacks/water/toys/books for your older child so you can entertain her while feeding the new baby.
No experience with BF, but I continued bedsharing with my oldest. I loved it and it worked out great. We recently moved him in his own bed at 20 months but it was nice to have him there in the early months. I think the extra snuggle time helped him still feel special even with the new baby around. He adapted really easily to a sibling.
Most importantly, don't spend your whole pregnancy in fear wondering how it's going to work out (easier said than done, i know!) It will work out.
GL!
Mine are going to be 18 months apart but I wanted to recommend a book about BFing while pregnant and tandem nursing if you choose to do this.
I am still BFing my DD and am 32 weeks pregnant with DD2. My milk supply dropped considerably around 19-20 weeks but that didn't deter my DD from nursing. Now my milk has turned back to colostrum and my DD again isn't deterred. Her poop changed back to newborn poop though (with solids so I still have to flush poop since I use CDs)! Yipee!
Your DD will be too young to simply give WCM or extra solids to compensate for the lack of BM so you will probably have to supplement with formula but that doesn't mean you have to stop BFing. With that said, some women never notice a change in their supply through out their entire pregnancy.
Anyways, I highly recommend reading The Adventures in Tandem Nursing. Even if you plan on weaning DD1 before the next baby, it covers nursing while pregnant extensively.
I am only 8 weeks into having two under a year.... and I am here to say it's doable and not as bad as you'd think. Yes, you are tired, yes you are constantly busy... but it's fun! (I have an eight week old and a 10 month old!)
My advice- if you don't already wear your babies, learn to use a sling or wrap. It allows me to hush the little one and give the bigger one attention.
I was super worried that my first would suffer with less attention. Not at all... I think she gets the same amt of attention. I don't have free time to check email or play on the computer often but the time with my eldest hasn't really changed.
This! I have a 2.5 month old and an 11.5 month old. It's turning out to be a lot easier than I thought. It's really hard some days, but not as bad as I thought it would be. At least SO FAR!!! (We'll see how things go. . . .) My best advice is worrying doesn't help anything. Prepare (mentally/physically/emotionally/etc.) but don't freak out. There are many, many women who have done it and lived to tell the tale.
mine are 16 months apart and the first 6 months were really up/down. I had to stop bfing DD because my supply dropped so much and as soon as I weaned she started STTN (probably was just nursing for comfort).
You do make it through the day and I try to remind myself "no one has ever died from crying and they just have to wait" while I am occupied with one of them.
Get a great double stroller and a great baby carrier. I always wore DS or put both in the double. I even have done my grocery shopping with the stroller.
DD had no jealousy and DS has fit right into the routine.
I think having this age gap has been very easy for the kids and harder (in comparison) on me but I got through it and now life is very manageable.
Try to spend this time not worrying about your pg or hypothetical situations. Cherish the alone time you have with your LO and watching them grow up because it does go by really fast!