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JKM416
member
Moms of 3+...share your wisdom, please
JKM416
member
What can I expect when adding a third child to our family? I was thrown for a loop going from one child to two. While I was a better parent thanks to having experience, the logistics of juggling a newborn and a toddler and their associated needs, wants, moods, and schedules was tough. It took me a while to feel like I had my footing again. Will it be just like that? Worse? (and not just "worse" as in one more kid in the mix; like "worse" as in exponentially more nutty) Or not as bad since I expect the crazy now and can go with the flow better? Obviously #3's disposition will be a huge factor, but I have my fingers crossed that I'm due for an "easy" baby by now.
Will it be easier since DD and DS have each other (and play together pretty well) or harder (because now that DS is bigger, talking, and asserting his opinions, I'm playing referee between them much more)?
Also, physically, I'm thinking all of these things will be worse than the first two times:
* uterine contractions (especially while BFing the first week or two)
* postpartum bleeding (it had almost disappeared within a week with DD, but it hung around for over a month with DS)
* postpartum hair loss (lasted between months 3-6 with DD; with DS it started at month 3 and was still going strong when I got pregnant with #3)
Is there anything that surprised you with the addition of #3, or did you feel like a pro and weren't phased by much? I thought I semi-knew what to expect and that this time I'd be better about keeping realistic expectations (for myself and what a "productive" day should be considered) for a while. But a mom at preschool just told me that the two-to-three transition was by far the hardest, and it freaked me out a bit.
Will it be easier since DD and DS have each other (and play together pretty well) or harder (because now that DS is bigger, talking, and asserting his opinions, I'm playing referee between them much more)?
Also, physically, I'm thinking all of these things will be worse than the first two times:
* uterine contractions (especially while BFing the first week or two)
* postpartum bleeding (it had almost disappeared within a week with DD, but it hung around for over a month with DS)
* postpartum hair loss (lasted between months 3-6 with DD; with DS it started at month 3 and was still going strong when I got pregnant with #3)
Is there anything that surprised you with the addition of #3, or did you feel like a pro and weren't phased by much? I thought I semi-knew what to expect and that this time I'd be better about keeping realistic expectations (for myself and what a "productive" day should be considered) for a while. But a mom at preschool just told me that the two-to-three transition was by far the hardest, and it freaked me out a bit.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Moms of 3+...share your wisdom, please
One thing that surprises me about our #3 is that he continues to be the one we pay the least attention to. My #1 and #2 are preschoolers - so they walk and talk and demand and fight with each other and fall and get injured and cry etc. - they get the lion's share of attention in our household. I feel guilty sometimes because #3 (after he got over being a colicky/high-maintenence mess in the first four months of his life) just sort of sits and watches the madness around him. So that was something I didn't predict. I knew that going from 1 to 2 that we paid more attention to #1 because she was a toddler and babies are "easy" by comparison, but with #3 the "syndrome" of setting aside the youngest/least demanding is much worse. At least for us. The up side to that is that so far DS (#3) has been very easy. The down side is we joke all the time that we are "bad parents" to DS, that he pretty much has to play by himself and fend for himself. (I'm #3 of three kids though, so I tell myself, eh, he'll just be more self sufficient later in life!)
My coworker asked me about the two to three change, and again, after DS got over his colic, he is really the easiest of the kids so it's not been too bad.... however, I told my coworker, check back with me when he's walking. Then I suspect the madness REALLY begins because we'll literally be chasing three kids. He's already crawling at the speed of light, so we're getting a little taste of what it will be like.
And when he starts to talk and have opinions and make demands - well, I tell myself that by then #1 will be a lot more self sufficient (she already is a very self sufficient 4.75 yr old, which is nice), so we'll likely be focusing on #2 and #3.
I can tell you that it doesn't seem like that much more "work" than two - I mean, we have all the baby gear, we know how to diaper and bathe and feed a baby quickly, I can get three kids into and out of the minvan in a flash at this point. So it doesn't seem like double the work or anything.
DH is stressed out a lot lately, but that's not really because #3, that's because of other forces at work in our lives at this time.
I have a neighbor who is a SAHM mom though and I think she'd have a different take because she's home with three and I think that's a whole 'nother story. She told me going to three was really hard on her. But her DH is FBI and away a lot, so I think it's apples to oranges.
One great pleasure is seeing #2 be "big sisterly" towards DS. She's a petite little thing and quieter than #1, so I like to see her in this role of mentor/guide.
Those are my random thoughts for now.