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TTC After a Loss
BFP #1 5/2004 Karina Frances born February 6, 2005 8 lb., 6 oz.
BFP #2 8/2010 Hadleigh Abigail born April 7, 2011 8 lb., 11 oz.
BFP #3 7/2011 EDD 3/27/12 Missed MC at 12w3d (Sara Grace)
BFP #4 12/13/11 EDD 8/19/12 Praying for this little baby!
If you knew your baby's gender
Did you give him/her a name? I'm struggling with this. I found out yesterday through the results of the genetic testing they did on the fetal tissue that my baby was a girl. I lost her at 12w3d. I know that's still considered an early loss, but hearing that she was a girl made it that much more real for me. I'm not sure if I should "name" her. Obviously there's no birth certificate or any real documentation that would carry her name, but I think maybe I'd like to refer to her as something other than "it" or "she" or "the baby."
If you knew the gender (or even if you didn't) and had an early loss, did you name the baby, even if it was only you & DH that knew the name? I know there's no right or wrong thing to do, I'm just looking for....well, to be honest I have no idea what I'm looking for. I'm just having a hard time.
BFP #1 5/2004 Karina Frances born February 6, 2005 8 lb., 6 oz.
BFP #2 8/2010 Hadleigh Abigail born April 7, 2011 8 lb., 11 oz.
BFP #3 7/2011 EDD 3/27/12 Missed MC at 12w3d (Sara Grace)
BFP #4 12/13/11 EDD 8/19/12 Praying for this little baby!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: If you knew your baby's gender
BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!!
BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
We found out our baby was a girl when we did the CVS test so we had a chance to discuss her name before she died (we found out at the NT scan she wouldn't survive). She made it to just about 16 weeks, so still pretty early, but we wanted to give her a name.
Our struggle was with whether we should use the name we would have used if she had lived or come up with another name. We decided to come up with a different name because we still think we want to use the other name if we have a live daughter some day. I still struggle with this decision and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to use the name I love if we do have another daughter, but it's a name we've loved since before we were married and have always wanted to use. I've dreamed of calling my daughter by that name every day of her life and I still hold on to the dream that we will one day have a live daughter with that name. Instead we gave our daughter a more meaningful name.
We haven't told anyone else that we named her and I'm not sure if we ever will. No one else seems to understand that she was a real baby to us. We had 6 ultrasounds and got to see her moving her arms and legs around so to us she was our daughter. To other people, she's something not to be talked about.
IVF #1 - BFP (6dt)
Unassisted Pregnancy #2 - lost at 15w6d due to T21, severe heart defects, and fetal hydrops
We knew the gender for a few weeks before we lost her, but had only decided on her name 2 days before we found out about her heart defect. We had named her Addison Lila, and DH said he would be okay with using that name again (we both love it), but once we decided what we were definitely going to do, I told him I would never be able to use that name, she would always be Addison. Maybe we'll use it as a middle name.
I'm glad we had a name for her though, but it was different for us, since you found out she was a girl after she was gone. We were expecting to take Addison home when we named her.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do. ((hugs))
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. We found out my most recent m/c was a girl after the fact due to chromosome analysis, but we don't know the sex of our first loss (although I always felt it was a boy). I really feel like I want to name my daughter, but DH doesn't think it would be a good idea. And I don't want to name my daughter and not my first baby that I lost, because one isn't more important than the other. I've thought of coming up with a gender neutral name for the first one and a name for the second, maybe name them after flowers or something. I'm really not sure.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
I know this may sound a little hokey, but I had a dream when I was 8 weeks and in it I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. In the dream I named him Christopher Andrew. I woke up thinking that it was the weirdest dream and I never told my husband about it. I found out at 10w4d that our baby had not grown past 8w3d. Ever since then I thought it was an omen telling me that my baby was a little boy. When I first posted on MC/Preg Loss I saw this: "An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. Then whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth". I believe it was God telling me my babies name as it was written down in the book of life. My husband would think I am bat sh!t crazy, but several of my friends know about the dream. Knowing that my baby has a name has been a source of great consolation for me. (((hugs)))
I didn't find out my baby's gender until almost a year later (when I asked to be referred to a specialist, my OBGYN gave me all the information needed, and the baby's gender was part of the paperwork). She never told me the gender and I never asked either.
We didn't name our baby, but we did think about it
BFP#1: 7/14/10. EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby! BFP #4: 2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15 BFP #5: 4/5/15 EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)
BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cfe4e" alt=" BabyFetus Ticker" border="0" /></a>{{hugs}}
A lot of women have found it very soothing to name their baby. I hope that whatever you choose brings joy to you.
Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11
I did not know the gender for either of my earlier losses. It wasn't an option, but I think if I could have, I would have. I lost my 3rd pregnancy at 20 weeks. We got some bad test results around 16 weeks, and went in for an u/s. One of the first questions I asked was the gender, and found out he was a boy. I felt like it gave us a little extra closure to be able to name him. We were going to be finding out a week later anyway, but in that moment, I felt like I HAD to know.
Everyone is very different, and you will do what is right for you and what will bring you the most peace in such an awful situation.
Stepmom to: Lizzie (4); Justin (10); and Cameron (13)
Mom to 3 angels: Baby 1 MC 2/13/09 @ 7 wks; Baby 2 CP 11/5/10 @ 5 wks;
and Brendan - Late Loss 4/27/11 @ 20 wks
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