How often do you tell your kids you love them?

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · October 2011

This is sort of a spin off from the praise post a ways down. I'm just wondering how often everyone here tells their children they love them.

I grew up in a household where it really was never said. I always knew they did, and they were proud of me. They'd tell me I did a good job and such, but "love" was never really a word used in our house. I have a great relationship with my parents, so it definitely didn't affect that. In fact, when I graduated high school, our school had our parents write us each a letter that was waiting on our chairs for us to read during the ceremony, and seeing those words, even just written, made me cry.

We say it to Elliot a lot. Many times a day. And I love that in the past couple days he's started coming up to me for no particular reason and saying, "Mommy, I love you." It just melts my heart.

MAMAxB · October 2011

I tell E probably 100 times a day. Literally. I'm crazy about that little girl

susanmosley · October 2011

Approximately 78 times/day. It is excessive. There is a good chance I am scarring her for life with the number of times I say it in a 24 hours span.

My dad said it a lot growing up. I had NO doubt that my mom thought and thinks I am the greatest thing ever, but she rarely says/said it. She writes it more than she says it. I've called her on it recently and she CLAIMS that she says it. I let it slide though, as I feel it daily from her and think it is a result of something in HER life growing up. She is a super gooey, lovey dovey person, so I think it is so fascinating that that doesn't just gush out of her too.

jnksmom · October 2011

Every day, several times a day. We tell them when they go down for a nap and at bed time. Sometimes I will tell them other random times throughout the day. Sometimes they will tell me "I love you Mommy." and I always said it back.

I grew up hearing it often and still do. My mom and dad both still tell me anytime we talk on the phone as part of saying good-bye.

JessesGirl&MackenziesMom · October 2011

Same in our household- many times a day. I couldn't count up how many times I've said it today or how many silly little songs that I make up per day that include "I love you". I think today was "mama loves her baby kenz" to the tune of "mary had a little lamb".

eaglesfan700 · October 2011

Multiple times a day. Specifically before nap and bed times every day

mrsekins · October 2011

Zillions of times a day! She also gets "Do you know I love you?" and "Who loves you?" to which she starts listing everyone in the family whose name she can say. Oh, I just love her!

Daisy77 · October 2011

DD#2-What seem like a billion times a day because she's always around and she is so damn cute I feel like I need to express my love over damn near everything she does. It's ridiculous.

DS-3-4 times a day. I know I do for sure when he leaves for school in the morning and when he goes to bed at night. Sometime I say it just to see him roll his eyes and say "Moooommmmm", lol.

DD#1-Not as often as I should! She's a hard one to catch though so sometimes it happens through texting and FB (she spends weekends with her dad).

laney75 · October 2011

Several times a day.

My parents never said it and I hate that. I refuse to not express my feelings to my children and I will absolutely shower them with affection as much as I can. Happy, sad, angry, excited... we will all share our feelings and our love.

chelwig89 · October 2011

We tell her multiple times a day, and she tells us a few times a week (without us saying it first lol)

Sharon21 · October 2011

I was raised pretty much the same as you were. My parents said "I love you" on very rare occasions but I always felt loved. It just wasn't a phrase that was used much in my home. However, since we found out about my moms brain cancer we always say I love you every time we talk, all of us (my mom, my dad, and my sister).

I tell my children I love them several times throughout the day. With DD#1 I will tell her I love her when she gets up in the morning, before she leaves for school, when she gets home, randomly throughout the evening, and always before she goes to bed. She will also come over to me randomly and give me hug and tell me she loves me. I tell DD#2 I love her randomly during the day but she is too young to know what it means yet.

I think I have an irrational fear that the one time I don't tell someone I love that I love them something bad will happen. I just never want to think "I wish I would have said I love you one more time".

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · October 2011

Aww, maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but these responses are all making me a bit weepy, but in a good way lol.

eitaknna9 · October 2011

Many, many, many times a day. I never want DD to wonder whether DH and I love her, I want it to be firmly placed upon her heart and in her mind that we love her endlesslly and unconditionally.

McAllie5 · October 2011

I thought about this when DS was first born. I decided I wanted to make sure that he knew every single day how much I love him. I make it a habit to tell him every night as I kiss him goodnight and I whisper it to him as I nurse him, too.

MamatoJackson · October 2011

A ridiculous amount. I am setting them up to never find spouses who fulfill their need for constant affection. Which means they can live with us until they are 35. (i hope)

susanmosley · October 2011

MamatoJackson:
A ridiculous amount. I am setting them up to never find spouses who fulfill their need for constant affection. Which means they can live with us until they are 35. (i hope)

lol

you never disappoint

MrsBalletStar05 · October 2011

We say it a TON! And he says it back a ton as well :-D

sweetwalks · October 2011

Lots and lots of times throughout the day. We both randomly tell LO and SS that throughout the day. I once knew a 3 year old who didn't understand the word love or the concept and it broke my heart. I swore to myself then that my children would know and understand love.

LO now randomly says "mommy, mommy, i love you" or "daddy, i love you" or "brother, i love you" It melts my heart and I love to hear him say it.!

etoyama · October 2011

I tell DD I love her several times a day. She looks at me like she understands. DH and I say it to one another a lot too. I initiated it as I grew up in a home where it was said every day. DH's parents never said it to him growing up.

June2007 · October 2011

All the time. We were big users of the sentence in my house growing up too. We were the people who say 'i love you' instead of goodbye on the phone. I am often saying thing like "you're getting so big! Gosh I love you! Can I keep you forever?" and things like that, DD#1 will now randomly say things like that to me or her sister or to a baby doll, it's so sweet.

abba916 · October 2011

Many times a day...lots of hugs and kisses too...

NYmama2 · October 2011

Constantly. I feel like I am always telling them. When my 3 yo says it, it always makes me smile.

morgs8384 · October 2011

Mason hears it almost non stop. My mom was always very verbal about loving us, I think I picked it up from her.

kiwi443 · October 2011

Every day. I always say it when I put him in his bed for a nap or bedtime.

japatton05 · October 2011

Probably 100's of times a day! It's the thing I say most to my DS. I'm crazy about him, and he has my heart 100%. I can't wait until the day he can say it back. It'll melt my heart even more.

ali-1411 · October 2011

The lone dissenting opinion over here

I don't say it very often. DH and I don't say it often to each other. I kinda feel strongly against saying it all the time.

My parents said it to us all the time. I feel that saying it all willy-nilly makes it lose meaning. If I say it as easy as saying Good Bye, there's no love or emotion in that for me. Its just routine, just words.

In our family, we say it when we mean it, when we feel it.

KellyOsu23 · October 2011

ali-1411:
In our family, we say it when we mean it, when we feel it.

We do too! We just feel it ALOT

DH and I say it at least 1-2 a day and I say it to the kids probibly 10-20X a day and Ashlyn says it to us at least 3X a day

pepomntpat · October 2011

Many times a day!

pepomntpat · October 2011

ali-1411:
The lone dissenting opinion over here
I don't say it very often. DH and I don't say it often to each other. I kinda feel strongly against saying it all the time.
My parents said it to us all the time. I feel that saying it all willy-nilly makes it lose meaning. If I say it as easy as saying Good Bye, there's no love or emotion in that for me. Its just routine, just words.
In our family, we say it when we mean it, when we feel it.

Um, yeah...me too. I feel it all the time. When she looks at me after a nap and reaches for me, I can't help it. I LOVE YOU! When she is acting silly and wants a story ready for the gazillionth time. I LOVE YOU! I just feel it for her a lot!

Mrs.Hizzo · October 2011

A bunch. They always hear it before naps and bedtime, and when I drop them off at school, and if I leave them with a sitter or DH to go somewhere. Then there are the random "I love yous" throughout the day. Also, we play a game where I grab one of them and ask silly things like "Are you my sweet potato? Are you my snuggle bunny? Are you my chocolate cupcake?" which they find hilarious and yell "NO!!!" and I say "Oh, yes you are!" It's sort of a pseudo-I-love-you thing.

Sara Scissors · October 2011

susanmosley:
Approximately 78 times/day. It is excessive. There is a good chance I am scarring her for life with the number of times I say it in a 24 hours span.

This!

JakesBride07 · October 2011

Several and I do mean several times a day. Every time I pick one of them up to do anything, or whenever really.

I am over the moon with them.

kls621 · October 2011

All the time! DH says it as often as he can too.

I make sure I say it before nap and bed, before we go anywhere in the car and anytime I leave him with someone else. We talk about who loves him several times a day and we ask him who he loves (he doesn't speak his answer, but he always points to mommy and daddy). He also loves to "tease" mommy and daddy and answer "no" when we ask if he loves us. We also kiss and hug DS multiple times a day.

I grew up in a household where it was said all the time, and I plan to say it all the time to my kids (even once they think I am crazy for saying it so often ). I think the words "I love you" should be said often and should be shown in action many times a day.

I think with really knowing that your parents love you comes a self-confidence and a feeling of safety, at least it always did for me. It also meant that I knew even when my parents were upset, disappointed, angry with my actions or behavior that I still never doubted that they loved me.

MAprincess · October 2011

KellyOsu23:
ali-1411:
In our family, we say it when we mean it, when we feel it.
We do too! We just feel it ALOT DH and I say it at least 1-2 a day and I say it to the kids probibly 10-20X a day and Ashlyn says it to us at least 3X a day

Here too- we feel it a lot:-) It is said several times a day. It is definitely said every night before bed.

kmh2201 · October 2011

Sorry, lurker from another board, but I think this is a great post. I think it is so important to tell your kids you love them, as often as you can. I tell my kids I love them all the time. Some times DH and I will just randomly tell one of the kids, "Hey [LO], I love you." I do think that a parent's actions also need to reflect love. (Obviously, you have to be the bad guy and correct their behavior/punish them so that they learn right from wrong, but it can be done in a loving way.) I think kids need to hear and know that their parents love them because I really think it helps them be well-adjusted emotionally.

My parents told me all the time when I was growing up that they loved me, and they still tell me whenever I see them or talk to them on the phone. My dad grew up in a home where they never said "I love you," so he knew when he had kids, he wanted us to know that he loved us. When I talk to my parents or see them, "I love you" is always part of our goodbye.

J&A2008 · October 2011

At least: when I drop them off at school and when I kiss them goodnight.

But, often times, it's more, and with LO, who I am with throughout the day, it is definitely more.

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