Put yourself in my shoes

mrsmommya · October 2011

Ok so me and DH are on cycle 3, 2 with our CBEFM (which most ppl get their BFP within the first couple months - was hoping this was our cycle) Anyways I recently graduated in May with my teaching degree and unfortunately no job this fall so hoping for next year.

We thought we had decided to stop TTC for 3-4 months pushing the due date into October or later so I would not have to miss the beginning of school - if I do get a job next fall.

Well of course we have TTC fever and wonder what if this 4th cycle we could get our BFP?!?! I am due for AF any day (probably thursday or friday) and I have one more pack of 10 sticks for my CBEFM - if we did conceive this coming cycle the due date would be around July 20th or so - leaving just barely 5-6 weeks before most schools start. (Some start as early as 2nd week in August in Southeast Missouri)

So put yourself in my shoes, we do want a child, but me 23 and DH 25 so we have plenty of time. On the other hand we are eager and would be elated if 4th cycle was our lucky BFP, also if it did happen I would feel like it was really meant to be. (fate Wink )

To try or not to try?!

heather_09_15_07 · October 2011

There are too many variables. Also, this is a decision you have to make for yourself.

Oem617 · October 2011

No one can tell you if you are ready to TTC or not. Only you and YH can decide.

XXXXX222 · October 2011

I don't believe in fate, but if you do, wouldn't it happen whether you were trying or not? LOL

mrsmommya · October 2011

Of course we are making the final decision - for us we have told no one except my 1 sister and my BFF that we are TTC so it is somewhat difficult to have not many people to discuss this.

Plus I know there are many teachers here, who were once first year teachers so I was just wondering if they had a better perspective than I.

mrsmommya · October 2011

sulfababy:

I don't believe in fate, but if you do, wouldn't it happen whether you were trying or not? LOL

Pretty sure I tell myself this just to make myself feel better! Stick out tongue

KristieM1985 · October 2011

Obviously like the other ladies said this is a decision that you and your H have make for yourselves. Personally if it was me & I really wanted a baby I would keep on ttc but that is just me.

brianabrad · October 2011

I can understand how you feel. DH and I have done the same type of math and had the same talks. What if start this month or what about next? We finally decided we would start trying in January because if we did get pregnant right out the door we would be due in October and would still be able to take the summer vacation we have already planned and paid for.

I think you need to do the same for yourself. If you really want to not be pregnant for the start of the school year next year, then do the math. Good luck no matter what you decide.

bookworm982 · October 2011

Starting a first year of teaching is rough. I don't think I could have done it with a newborn. Of course, I'd hate to miss part of the first year of teaching as well. It's incredibly difficult to write sub plans when I've already taught something in the past. Six weeks (that's what we get in my district at least) of sub plans when you've never taught a subject with be daunting. Thus, neither option sounds ideal. That said, if I were you I'd just keep ttc and find a way to work through either situation. It's a tough decision, but you know your situation better than I do and will make the right choice for you.

Vonbabe · October 2011

That is completely a decision you and your DH have to make. No one from a site can tell you what they think you should do. Having said this, I would jsut do what you think is the best decision for your family.

Also, think if there were no jobs available this fall how would you feel if you stopped TTC and there still weren't any jobs available next year?

Don't put your life on hold for a career. That is just my personal opinion though!

MissGOP · October 2011

Mrs Mommy:

Of course we are making the final decision - for us we have told no one except my 1 sister and my BFF that we are TTC so it is somewhat difficult to have not many people to discuss this.

Plus I know there are many teachers here, who were once first year teachers so I was just wondering if they had a better perspective than I.

Though I'm not a first time teacher, I did just get hired full-time at my local college--a dream job in this market. We wanted to give birth in the summer, but of course that has not worked out. It is our 4th cycle now. I'm 31 and do not want to put TTC on hold anymore, however. Now that I see how long it may take, I can't imagine taking a break.

When I was your age I was very concerned with getting my education finished and getting our finances stablized. We wouldn't have been ready. But it is different for everyone. I wish you luck no matter what you choose!

mrsmommya · October 2011

shmeell25:
Mrs Mommy:

Ok so me and DH are on cycle 3, 2 with our CBEFM (which most ppl get their BFP within the first couple months - was hoping this was our cycle)

Just curious, where is that statistic from?

It's not really a statistic but when I was lurking on the 1st tri. board someone posted about getting it and there was about 35 comments - ALL of which had gotten their BFP's (or someone close they knew) within 2 months. Of course I know that for many it takes longer - monitor or not. But I believe it def. increases your accuracy.

NJMom050911 · October 2011

I think you should wait. If you were truely ready the timing wouldn't matter. Just my two cents.

AlleyCatNH · October 2011

I would wait, honestly. You are hoping to find a teaching job, then give birth one month into the school year? I would either go for it now while you aren't working, or start trying next fall so your due date will be after school is out. Your first year is tough, and leaving kids for 6 weeks (minimum) in the middle of the first semester would make it even tougher. I'm in my first year of teaching right now, and we put off trying to conceive until this month for that reason.

Rvnsgrl81 · October 2011

Mrs Mommy:
shmeell25:
Mrs Mommy:

Ok so me and DH are on cycle 3, 2 with our CBEFM (which most ppl get their BFP within the first couple months - was hoping this was our cycle)

Just curious, where is that statistic from?

It's not really a statistic but when I was lurking on the 1st tri. board someone posted about getting it and there was about 35 comments - ALL of which had gotten their BFP's (or someone close they knew) within 2 months. Of course I know that for many it takes longer - monitor or not. But I believe it def. increases your accuracy.

I was going to say I am on month 3 of using it, I don't have high hopes and I know MANY other ladies who have used it for many many months with no luck.

kofmkg · October 2011

NJMom050911:
I think you should wait. If you were truly ready, the timing wouldn't matter. Just my two cents.

This exactly. Well said.

ral1985 · October 2011

Well, it's not like you have already gotten a job for next year. I wouldn't put TTC on hold for something that might happen, and I wouldn't put finding a job on hold for a TTC, when that also might happen. If it all works out at the same time, then you will find a way to figure it out. GL to you.

Erin1722 · October 2011

DH and I are in a similar situation in that I will be done school in April, so some stuff is a little up in the air in regards to where I will be working, will it take a couple months for me to get a job, will I get a job right away... etc. That being said, we just feel like it's the right time to TTC, and if we have to get creative to work around my new job, then we are prepared for that. For example, if i haven't worked long enough to get maternity benefits, DH will be a SAHD for our first.

Like everyone else said, who knows when this will happen, we just know we are in a time of our life where the general timing will be fine, so we are living life like normal and will cross the specific timing bridge when we come to it.

That being said, we did specifically wait until a certain date to start, so that I would most definitely be able to finish school before giving birth.

CiaoGirl · October 2011

Been there done that - i hate trying to figure due dates and future life out especially if you might not actually conceive when you'd like to, etc. You know what I'm talking about!

But one thing to consider should you have a due date of July 20th, is that leaving your infant day in and day out to go to work is going to be super tough. Also, being at school is going to expose you to some nasty germs on a regular basis. Not saying you should live in fear or not get pregnant because of it, but maybe you could take another year off from school to stay home with the baby. (day care is pricey!) So consider that option as well.

Working is great - staying home is great. Just don't feel like you wasted a degree if you decide to stay home with your little one. Don't feel guilty either way. (It is just unfortunate that women feel like they aren't doing an important job if they do choose/or are able to stay home and of course, women feel pretty bad if they choose to/ or have to work! Ahh the joys of parenthood!)

mrsmommya · October 2011

CiaoGirl:

Been there done that - i hate trying to figure due dates and future life out especially if you might not actually conceive when you'd like to, etc. You know what I'm talking about!

But one thing to consider should you have a due date of July 20th, is that leaving your infant day in and day out to go to work is going to be super tough. Also, being at school is going to expose you to some nasty germs on a regular basis. Not saying you should live in fear or not get pregnant because of it, but maybe you could take another year off from school to stay home with the baby. (day care is pricey!) So consider that option as well.

Working is great - staying home is great. Just don't feel like you wasted a degree if you decide to stay home with your little one. Don't feel guilty either way. (It is just unfortunate that women feel like they aren't doing an important job if they do choose/or are able to stay home and of course, women feel pretty bad if they choose to/ or have to work! Ahh the joys of parenthood!)

This is totally true...my DH does make enough to support us (not great but enough) my income really is extra but does make extracurricular activities easier and possible. So with a baby not sure if his income would be sufficient - probably but not sure.

We have a VERY supportive family that is totally willing to help out so we wouldn't need daycare or maybe just do 1 day or 2 days a week just for the social aspect.

mrsmommya · October 2011

GhostMonkey:
Mrs Mommy:
shmeell25:
Mrs Mommy:

Ok so me and DH are on cycle 3, 2 with our CBEFM (which most ppl get their BFP within the first couple months - was hoping this was our cycle)

Just curious, where is that statistic from?

It's not really a statistic but when I was lurking on the 1st tri. board someone posted about getting it and there was about 35 comments - ALL of which had gotten their BFP's (or someone close they knew) within 2 months. Of course I know that for many it takes longer - monitor or not. But I believe it def. increases your accuracy.

::facepalm:: Because a random poll on The Bump is scientifically accurate.

yeah those were my exact words scientifically accurate - not really pretty sure I said It is not a statistic

BakerMommy · October 2011

I would wait. My first year of teaching was really hard--as in at school until 5 or 6 most nights, working on weekends, a foot-tall stack of papers to deal with over Christmas break (wish I were exaggerating). FWIW, I got excellent marks during student teaching--I wasn't unprepared, it's just the nature of the beast. Adding caring for a newborn and the extreme sleep deprivation that goes with it on top of that and I would have cracked. Not to mention how expensive day care can be for a 6-week old baby. I would wait to try to conceive until you have a year under your belt.

(And I know interviewers are not supposed to take such things into account, but if you show up for interviews in the spring with a baby bump, it might make it harder to get a job in the first place.)

Nikko Blue · October 2011

Mrs Mommy:
shmeell25:
Mrs Mommy:

Ok so me and DH are on cycle 3, 2 with our CBEFM (which most ppl get their BFP within the first couple months - was hoping this was our cycle)

Just curious, where is that statistic from?

It's not really a statistic but when I was lurking on the 1st tri. board someone posted about getting it and there was about 35 comments - ALL of which had gotten their BFP's (or someone close they knew) within 2 months. Of course I know that for many it takes longer - monitor or not. But I believe it def. increases your accuracy.

I don't think there is really that much of a difference between using the monitor and using OPKs, temping, etc. They all help you to pinpoint your most fertile days. Even with great timing, it can still take up to a year for a healthy couple to get pregnant.

sammiesjd414 · October 2011

I am also a teacher, and it took me a while to get a permanant teaching job. It was very important to me to be to get at least a little established before having kids. First year (and second and third year) teachers put in a lot of extra hours, and I wanted to get settled in.

Now DH and I are ready, but are debating the timing question of whether to take a break so baby doesn't arrive at the beginning of the school year. Ideally, I would already be pregnant and would go out on leave in April or May and have the summer. That didn't happen.

Basically, you can't plan these things, and you have to make the decision for yourself. You are young and just starting, so it's important to decide which is the priority (baby or teaching) now so you can put all your time and energy into the area that is best for you. Good luck!

Middlesnpoddles · October 2011

Lurker here!

We have very similar stories! I graduated in May with my teaching degree.. DH is 23 and I am 22. I looked EVERYWHERE and busted my butt for a job. No jobs in education.. it really sucks. I feel your pain.

Anyways so I figured.. what the heck, we will just TTC (well.. we said whatever happens, happens) because I knew that if I did get pregnant, it would be a May baby and I could try again next fall to get a job..

WELL, we got pregnant from the first cycle which was REALLY surprising because it was the first month off my BCP. Literally 2 weeks later, I get a call from a private school needing a 4th grade teacher, so when I went to the interview I had to tell them I as due at the beginning of May. I did end up getting the job, but will not get maternity leave (well, I will.. just unpaid).

DH and I did not have a hard time debating this one.. we are big believers in "when it's meant to be, it'll happen!" and we decided that God would take care us us no matter what a baby would bring. It ended up all coming together for me. That being said, everyone is different.. Each couple has a unique way of handling when to TTC and if they even TTC ever. I just suggest you talk to DH about it and come to an agreement that you're 100% happy with. Good Luck!!

mrsz2008 · October 2011

jefa621:
Mrs Mommy:
CiaoGirl:

Been there done that - i hate trying to figure due dates and future life out especially if you might not actually conceive when you'd like to, etc. You know what I'm talking about!

But one thing to consider should you have a due date of July 20th, is that leaving your infant day in and day out to go to work is going to be super tough. Also, being at school is going to expose you to some nasty germs on a regular basis. Not saying you should live in fear or not get pregnant because of it, but maybe you could take another year off from school to stay home with the baby. (day care is pricey!) So consider that option as well.

Working is great - staying home is great. Just don't feel like you wasted a degree if you decide to stay home with your little one. Don't feel guilty either way. (It is just unfortunate that women feel like they aren't doing an important job if they do choose/or are able to stay home and of course, women feel pretty bad if they choose to/ or have to work! Ahh the joys of parenthood!)

This is totally true...my DH does make enough to support us (not great but enough) my income really is extra but does make extracurricular activities easier and possible. So with a baby not sure if his income would be sufficient - probably but not sure.

We have a VERY supportive family that is totally willing to help out so we wouldn't need daycare or maybe just do 1 day or 2 days a week just for the social aspect.

So you don't have a job for sure and you don't know if DH's salary alone would be enough to support you both and a baby? Then if I were you I would not be TTC until both of those things are figured out.

Absolutely this.

buckeyebaby814 · October 2011

This is absolutely something YOU must decide, but as a fellow teacher, I will offer my insight Smile

I understand that you want a teaching job, but I would not stop TTC unless it will be a financial burden to you to not get a teaching job next year. There's always a chance that you may not get one anyways, KU or not (I know in Ohio teaching jobs are hard to find) OR even if you keep TTC now, you might not even get pregnant right away.

All that aside- I would personally still try. While subbing is not always a first choice, it is a foot in the door (if you do not have a FT position) AND it would offer you the flexibility of caring for a new LO, if you were blessed enough to get KU quickly. Plus, subbing is an opportunity to network and really get a feel for how school systems work, which I think can only HELP in an interview situation. Make a pros and cons list Smile

Want a personalized experience?

Put yourself in my shoes

Re: Put yourself in my shoes

Choose Another Board

Search Boards