Success after IF

Do you feel less intelligent?

I honestly feel much less intelligent since I had DS.  I'm really hoping that it is just still being scatterbrained and having to think about too many other things (like making sure I have everything I need for him, keeping an eye on him, planning out what I need to do in which order to get dinner on the table quickly enough, etc.) but I cannot seem to get my head on straight.  I'm constantly misplacing my keys, my purse, my phone...and I have zero focus.  I was never like this before...and a big part of my self worth is apparently based on me being a smart, competent woman...and I don't feel that anymore. 

Anyone else feel this way?  Is this the dreaded "pregnancy brain morphing into mommy brain"?  People with older kids that may have had it, did it go away?  

Re: Do you feel less intelligent?

  • like a total dumbass! :)

    i used to be quite smart.... and could hold my own in conversations about politics, etc - now I'm like a big brain fart all the time... It wasn't this bad after DS1, but got HORRIBLE after I had the twins.

    I used to be Goldie_locks_5 but the new nest is so screwed up that I was forced to start over.
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  • Yes yes and more yes.  Its awful.....I'm not sure if it ever went away after I had Ella and now with the twins its even worse haha.  Owell, I guess I won't be that doctor that I wanted to be ;)

    "I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine

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  • Yes!!!! All the time. Brain farts and general duncelike feelings. I used to be so smart...
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  • Right after Sam was born; yes. But by the time he was ~9 months or so, no. I think sleep deprivation was the main issue.  Going back to work FT has allowed me to still feel intelligent, but let me tell you - chemo brain is undoing a lot of that!

     

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  • All the freaking time! I can't tell you how many times I get about mile from my house when I realize I forgot something that I need like my wallet or cell phone.
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  • Yes.  I tell people the same story 20 times, can't remember simple details, yet I can tell you how many ounces Braley has consumed in the last 12 days.  Strange.
    DX: PCOS * Success with IVF

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  • Yup and I Had Really bad pg brain in the first tri too! It was bad left like a million things in my car, at home, lost my phone, ect. I have also had a harder time staying focused in conversations, my mind seems to wonder way more..

    I have always struggled being a multi tasker.its gotten better cause sometimes I have no choice and that makes me forget things ect..

  • YES! My Psychiatrist told me that there have been studies conducted about this very thing. That moms feel and appear as though their cognitive functioning has lessened, and that it did not matter whether they work out of the home, or SAH with their kids... 

     

  • Yes.

    I used to be a rock star at my job - I had an amazing memory and never needed to take notes. 

    Now, not so much.  The worst thing is that I don't have a note taking habit so things just go by the wayside.

     

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  • Yes!

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  • At first, yes but as time has gone by I've needed to really step up my mental game to juggle this new life of mine.  I've changed some bad habits (like procrastination) and added good ones (like keeping lists) and I feel a little sharper than I was before.  

     

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  • The sleep deprivation is what kills my memory - I totally understand!
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  • I definitely feel that way, but that was my mom's excuse 100% of the time whenever she messed something up/did something wrong/was just generally scatterbrained. So there is a big part of me that is unwilling to admit it.

    Whenever I misplace my keys or phone and my mom is around, she has to bring it up - see?! doing kids does this to you!! Ugh. :) 

  • imageOrangeSmoke:

    Yes.

    I used to be a rock star at my job - I had an amazing memory and never needed to take notes. 

    Now, not so much.  The worst thing is that I don't have a note taking habit so things just go by the wayside.

     

    Yes! This exactly. I always have to take notes now. 

  • imagekme930:
    imageOrangeSmoke:

    Yes.

    I used to be a rock star at my job - I had an amazing memory and never needed to take notes. 

    Now, not so much.  The worst thing is that I don't have a note taking habit so things just go by the wayside.

     

    Yes! This exactly. I always have to take notes now. 

    Glad I'm not alone.

    So here's a random story.  I was having a conversation with an ex-boss a while back about working for him again and I brought this up.  He got all concerned and was like really are you sure you want to work here?

    My knee jerk response?  "Even if I'm operating at 50% capacity, I'm still better than 90% of the clowns you have sitting out there". 

    I don't think he was ready for that dose of arrogance.  He ended up offering me the job :)

     

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  • Unless it's discussed on Mickey Mouse clubhouse I can't keep up with current events, and since most of those episodes are re-runs from a few years ago I'm way out of the loop.Wink

    I felt more intelligent before this pregnancy, I felt like I was doing ok after Mark got a little older but as soon as I got pregnant again I lost my brain,  for real.

    The other day I was walking into a patient room to do an exam.  I realized that I didn't have my stethoscope so I walked back to my office to get it, come back to walk in the room and realize I still don't have it.  I'm feeling around my neck like a lunatic and say "WTF, I thought I just walked back and got my stethoscope"  my staff laughed at me and said "well, you walked back there and now you just walked out here with your sunglasses on your head".  True story, I'm constantly putting stuff in the pantry instead of the fridge, etc.  I just hope it doesn't stay this way, or get worse with each child.

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  • imageOrangeSmoke:
    imagekme930:
    imageOrangeSmoke:

    Yes.

    I used to be a rock star at my job - I had an amazing memory and never needed to take notes. 

    Now, not so much.  The worst thing is that I don't have a note taking habit so things just go by the wayside.

     

    Yes! This exactly. I always have to take notes now. 

    Glad I'm not alone.

    So here's a random story.  I was having a conversation with an ex-boss a while back about working for him again and I brought this up.  He got all concerned and was like really are you sure you want to work here?

    My knee jerk response?  "Even if I'm operating at 50% capacity, I'm still better than 90% of the clowns you have sitting out there". 

    I don't think he was ready for that dose of arrogance.  He ended up offering me the job :)

    Good for you! I've often heard one of the theories as to why women don't advance as much as men in the workplace is that women aren't good at self-promoting. It's hard for us and easy for men. Good for you for breaking through that stereotype! ;)

  • omg, totally!!! I swear I sit in meetings at work with a blank stare on my face. I'm embarrassed for myself. Embarrassed

    I'm hoping that once I start getting more sleep (when Abbie goes to college?), my brain will come back.

    After 5 years of TTC, 3 IUIs, 5 IVFs, 2 FETs, multiple losses and an adoption that wasn
  • don't despair--i definitely had this problem, but i feel like i have seen significant improvement. i think 80% of it is a sleep thing. i make sleep an extremely high priority in my life, so i think that helps. and i think anything you can generally do to take care of your body helps. i feel like i have been more clear-headed since i started eating a healthier diet a few months ago. 

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  • THANK YOU for posting this! I was really beginning to think it was just me. I feel like I contribute little to nothing when it comes to adult conversations these days. I always seem to have so many baby related things running through my brain that it seems as though there isn't room left for anything else!

    DX: DOR and MFI 

     

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  • Uh, confession.

    I just got back from lunch.  Half way though eating the delish mac and cheese from our cafe, I remembered that brought lunch to work today. So yeah, maybe not as sharp as I used to be!

     

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    I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
  • imageMouseygail:

    I honestly feel much less intelligent since I had DS.  I'm really hoping that it is just still being scatterbrained and having to think about too many other things (like making sure I have everything I need for him, keeping an eye on him, planning out what I need to do in which order to get dinner on the table quickly enough, etc.) but I cannot seem to get my head on straight.  I'm constantly misplacing my keys, my purse, my phone...and I have zero focus.  I was never like this before...and a big part of my self worth is apparently based on me being a smart, competent woman...and I don't feel that anymore. 

    Anyone else feel this way?  Is this the dreaded "pregnancy brain morphing into mommy brain"?  People with older kids that may have had it, did it go away?  

    Absolutely.  It's horrifying.  In addition to not being able to think of words sometimes I'm doing things that are totally out of character.  I charged the battery for my camera the other day.  I unplugged the charger and clearly remember putting it back in the camera bag.  I turned the camera on the other day - no battery.  I have no idea where I could have put it.  I think I must have thrown it away. :(

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  • Not really, but not because I don't make silly gaffes or am a sharp tongued debater of international events - rather, I don't equate the inability or lack of desire to keep up with or discuss current events and politics, or occasional forgetfulness, with diminished intelligence. When I need to be on top of things at work I think I'm as good as I ever was (maybe better because I'm more highly motivated to get sh!t done and get the hell out ASAP). If I'm not, it's not a change in IQ, it's a change in priorities. The same holds true for home/memory/etc...And I still clean up on logic games and busting lame email "brainbusters" my dad sends. ;)

    *** It's funny because I'm fat ***
  • imageUsedToBeGoldie:

    like a total dumbass! :)

    i used to be quite smart.... and could hold my own in conversations about politics, etc - now I'm like a big brain fart all the time... It wasn't this bad after DS1, but got HORRIBLE after I had the twins.

    This! (minus DS #1 :)

    I constantly catch myself trying to think of a word when I'm talking to someone. I'm always saying, "What's the word I'm looking for?"....never did this pre-pregnancy. I blame the bambinos :)
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