Tell me about Sleep Training

LifesPeachy · October 2011

I know some of you have done the Ferber method. Any tips / advice you can give for sleep training, I would be helpful! Also does the same method apply at nap time?

TIA Smile

keri1013 · October 2011

I recommend the book "Sleeping Through the Night" by Jodi Mindell. She recommends a method that's basically Ferber, but has other options too. She suggests starting with bedtime and then once that's set moving to naptime, though apparently often babies will start falling asleep on their own at nap time too once they know how to do it at bedtime.

We did sleep training with Max and I know we are going to have to do it with Anna too. It was hard but so worth it for us. Good luck!

iHeartHimMore · October 2011

We started with bedtime, then eliminated night feedings, then dealt with nap times last. I would highly recommend reading Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". At this age you don't need to read the whole book. If I'm remembering correctly, I found chapters 1-6, 9 and 11 VERY helpful. I learned so much about sleep in general and had many lightbulb moments.

kristalovesjared · October 2011

My first piece of advice is don't do it until you have your mind made up 100% that you are going to follow through... same with your DH if he'll be home while you're doing it! I had a couple failed attempts because I just felt so bad and then felt even worse that I made her cry for no reason since I came to rescue her! I just kept telling myself I was doing it for her own good and that if something happened to me or I just wanted to leave for the night (she was used to sleeping with me and nursing pretty much all night long) she would be able to put herself to sleep with anyone and it wouldn't be a big deal.

I think every baby is different as for your approach... some people check in every few minutes and some just leave the baby until he/she falls asleep. I tried the check in/calm down without picking up method 3 times and each time, she'd get more upset than she was before I went in, so I ended up not going in at all. Be prepared for a lot of crying... 1 1/2- 2 hours in our case for the first 2 days, then it progressively got better. I probably cried as much as she did those first few days and felt like I had anxiety, so when DH was there I would usually go take a 45 minute shower or leave the house after I put her down! He was working out of town at the time, so I was pretty much by myself while doing it. Cleaning or somehow keeping actively busy while she was crying made it go by faster!

I didn't want to confuse her, so I did naps and bedtime all the same. Very strict routine and stuck to it. Bottle, Books, then bed. Once she was down for the night, she had to stay in her crib for 6 hours (she was 9 months old) before I'd go in and let her eat again and if I did go in, she got a bottle in the dark and then I put her back down. Luckily after 3 days she started sleeping 12 hours at night! She was waking every 2-3 before that!!! Naps were always at the exact same time for those first few weeks too. For the first 2-3 months I did not allow myself to bring her in bed with me at all. Of course she started teething around this time too, so there were lots of sleepless nights of me rocking her in her room, then putting her back in her crib for her to wake up in another hour or two, but I knew it would be easy to fall back into the trap!

I also kept a log for the first 2 weeks... it was really good to see the cry time lessen and the sleep time lengthen on paper! Now I hope you're still reading this novel... haha! It honestly has been THE HARDEST thing I've ever had to do in my life, but also the most rewarding! I told DH I was more proud of sleep training Ella than getting a college degree because it was way harder! She didn't love me any less, probably loved me more and I was a way better Mom because I was getting more sleep! This was a year ago that we did it and I still probably haven't slept through the night myself... maybe I need an adult version of sleep training. haha! I will warn you though... once she started consistently STTN and bedtime wasn't a bad thing (around 1 year) we decided we were ready for another kid. Now that my due date is 4 weeks away, I'm not so sure why we thought that! haha! Getting ready to do it all over again.

tfarabians · October 2011

I just spent a small fortune on a sleep specialist. Its been very slow going but we started by tweeking his schedule a bit during the day. She didn't want him napping more than 1 1/2 hours 2 times a day so that he wasn't oversleeping at night. and he is on a 2-3-4 schedule this means the first nap is 2 hours after he wakes, then nap and then wake for 3 hours then naps and then wake for 4 hours and then bed. After that we have started to cut down the amount of oz of bottles at night. We were at 4 oz and now down to 3oz we will keep cutting down an oz once a week (we have hit a setback though because he is getting all 4 of his top teeth at once) She then said when we have cut out bottles that we will do something where we go in and half way wake him up an hour before he usually wakes up so that when it comes time that he usually wakes at night he is back in a deep sleep again. basically resetting his sleep pattern. We will do this 1 waking at a time until slowly but surely we hopfully eliminate wakings. She stressed the importance of bedtime routines so that they know what is coming. That said my little angel was up every 3 min all night long last night because of his teeth : (

blueLu25 · October 2011

We did a modified Ferber. Definitely read the book! And have dh be there for support. My dh ended up being the one to do, and it was really hard on me ti hear them cry, but they learned it quick. Naptime was the same method but took a little longer. Bedtime is soooooo much better now! It was great the first day, the second day was harder, but then things got better, so make sure you give it a few days.

MOHjen · October 2011

Great advice already, but I'll also add that take into account your kid's personality. With Maeve, I knew that going in and trying to soothe her at different intervals would just piss her off more. So we had to grit our teeth and let her CIO for the long haul. It just totally depends on your kid. Some do better with the approach of going in and rubbing their back or shushing etc and some do worse. It might take a bit of trial and error.

kristalovesjared · October 2011

MOHjen:
Great advice already, but I'll also add that take into account your kid's personality. With Maeve, I knew that going in and trying to soothe her at different intervals would just piss her off more. So we had to grit our teeth and let her CIO for the long haul. It just totally depends on your kid. Some do better with the approach of going in and rubbing their back or shushing etc and some do worse. It might take a bit of trial and error.

I love your new picture of Maeve! So cute!

itskacie · October 2011

iHeartHimMore:

We started with bedtime, then eliminated night feedings, then dealt with nap times last. I would highly recommend reading Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". At this age you don't need to read the whole book. If I'm remembering correctly, I found chapters 1-6, 9 and 11 VERY helpful. I learned so much about sleep in general and had many lightbulb moments.

I have a copy of this book if you want it too! Good luck!

LifesPeachy · October 2011

Thanks everyone! This was super helpfu1! I will show this thread to my husband. If anything, I will need to be the one supporting HIM!

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