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My weekend recap / thoughts

ArcticFoxArcticFox member
in Upstate NY Babies

We went to visit family in VT and had a great weekend!

But during the weekend, we visited more distant family (like cousins of cousins) because they have 4 kids - they have been talking about wanting to play with my girls (they met at a wedding last year), so we drove 1.5 hours.

We get there, and the mom was like, oh I have no idea where they are.  The kids are 4 (twins) and a 2 year old!! (the 4th kid is older - like 10)

This is kind of a farm, they had some apple trees in the back, and we spent a while looking for them.  Turns out they were across the road playing in a ditch/culvert.  They were barefoot, one was in her PJs all day.

We stayed through lunch and my husband and I were the ones that watched the kids the whole time.  The mom served them lunch but otherwise they did what they wanted and she was totally not responsible for them, we even changed the 2 year old's diapers (poop). 

For the most part they ran around rampant in bare feet (out in the road, ponds, climbed trees, climbed up on some crazy balcony on the side of the house).  My DD would try to play with them and then I'd have to tell her no because it was too dangerous.

And if the 2 year old got hurt, the mom never saw it, so she would pick up her kid and be like "Oh you're ok".  I agree with not making a huge deal out of little bumps and bruises, but she was clueless!

Plus we were eating lunch and the neighbors kids came running in that there were horses coming up the road, so the mom let her kids all run out to see 3 horses and she just let them abandon lunch..

I'm just irritated that we drove 1.5 hours so the kids could play.  I don't have anything against kids running around in their yard, but I was a little surprised she had no idea where even the 2 year old was!

And I was thinking of one of you ladies who was complaining about neighborhood kids coming by and disrupting meals!

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Re: My weekend recap / thoughts

  • TinyPinkBugTinyPinkBug member

    That is pretty close to how I grew up.  But it wasn't on a farm, it was a rural neighborhood.  I did survive, so did everyone else.  Though some of it was luck and some was neighbors looking out for neighbors.  My sister was out playing by herself when she was 2yrs old, she pushed the the pool ladder up against the pool and jumped in.  The neighbor saw her and pulled her out.  My mom and that neighbor never got along after that.  Boy could I tell you luck stories.  Interupting meals wasn't a big issue because we never really had meals, a  lot of fend for yourself.  Most of the neighborhood was this way, the few families that weren't didn't play with the rest of the kids much.  And it didn't help them in grade school.  But as I got older, I was jealous of kids who had meals with their family, whos parents were around, these kids also got to do things as a family outside our little neighborhood that we never did.  Like go to the zoo, the fair, or even take dance or gymnastics.  I am raising my kids very differently.

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  • Two*TrueTwo*True member
    It's called growing up on a farm. They know the area/neighbors/etc and as parents obviously feel secure in letting their children have run of the yard.  I don't see an issue with that.  No shoes? So? For thousands of years humans didn't wear shoes. If it was hurting the children they would have put on shoes.  The only thing in your OP that seems odd to me is that you felt as though you had to change their diapers.  You were either much faster to do it than the parents or the parents were slacking.  But really the rest of it just seems normal for country living.
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  • ArcticFoxArcticFox member

    Part of it was about being a bad hostess.  She invited us over and then her kids were over at the neighbors.  And there was nothing in the way of snacks/food/kid-friendly stuff.  Not saying that is necessary, but if I invite someone over for a playdate, I make sure that the person that drove 1.5 hours has some snacks, a place to sit, etc (everyone ate standing up).  We played alone with our kids most of the time.  And about the lunch, her kids ran outside and therefore didn't eat lunch, because after she put the plates in front of the kids, the mom was off doing her own thing.

    I don't mind the 'farm life' / lifestyle thing, it was just that if you invite someone over, it might be nice not to have your kids running around ignoring your guests.  The kids were being pretty bad though (throwing huge rocks at eachother, throwing apples from the tops of trees at eachother, standing on a railing 2 stories up, etc).

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  • Two*TrueTwo*True member
    I agree about the hostess thing.  If they invite you out there then they should have been prepared better. And I would have definitely asked me kids to hang closer to home and hang out with their cousins.
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  • meryltheresameryltheresa
    I probably would have just cut the visit short and left if I was as unhappy as you guys were.  But I get the whole farm living thing.  I didn't grow up on a farm, but I did grow up in farm country, and my aunt and uncle and my grandfather all owned farms, so we would run around and play.  My cousin and I were jumping from the 2nd level of the barn one time into this huge stack of loose hay, and my uncle came FLYING aruond the corner screaming at us because there was a pitch fork sticking out of it.  Somehow we completely missed it, and that could have been really bad.  Antoher time my sister and cousin decided it would be a good idea to ride a banana seat bike down a huge DIRT ROAD HILL, and the bike had no breaks.  They crashed, lots of stithces and years later they lived to tell the tale.  haha!
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  • abba916abba916

    imageTwo*True:
    I agree about the hostess thing.  If they invite you out there then they should have been prepared better. And I would have definitely asked me kids to hang closer to home and hang out with their cousins.

    True but they're kids..what was she supposed to do teather them to the porch... I'd leave *MY* lunch to go see horses...

    since you were watching the kids, Arctic, you could have let your girls run a bit while still supervised- the whole when in Rome thing...

    Bummer it wasn't a great visit for the drive you took- but at least you had an adventure with your girls...making memories, right? 

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