WWPgALD? re: flu season/newborns/visitors

anonomity · October 2011

So DH and I are in a pickle. Our baby is due 11/19 and will obviously be a newborn during the peak of flu season. We have asked our parents and siblings who will be visiting immediately all to get the flu vaccine, and none of them have any problem with that... Except for MIL. She claims she can't get it because her doctor told her she might get sick afterwards. (This is second-hand info from FIL, as DH hasn't spoken with his mom yet because he is pretty frustrated... this is about the 100th thing she has given us a hard time about regarding this baby, but I digress...) MIL works for a school and has a very real risk of being exposed to/contracting the flu, so its not like we are being overprotective here.

Our original policy was, no flu shot, no visiting for the first few weeks. Of course me and DH don't want to keep his mom from her grandchild forever, but we also don't want to risk exposing our brand new baby to the flu. DH suggested maybe we can tell her she can't visit if she's been around anyone who's sick, but I honestly don't trust her to be truthful with us because I know how badly she will want to see our baby.

Do any of you ladies have any suggestions on what we can do in this situation? FIL suggested we make her wear a mask, but I don't feel like that's enough protection. What are you doing about visitors around your newborn during flu season?

ETA: We are trying to come up with some possible solutions before discussing this with MIL, because it will most likely end in a fight and we want to be as prepared as possible.

unstuck6jb · October 2011

Did you get the flu shot? They are supposed to pass along to the baby if you get it while pregnant. I would be nervous too...but I think if you got the shot, then baby would probably be fine. I might still tell MIL to get it though...why are MIL's so obstinate! Mine is no exception!

anonomity · October 2011

unstuck6jb:
Did you get the flu shot? They are supposed to pass along to the baby if you get it while pregnant. I would be nervous too...but I think if you got the shot, then baby would probably be fine. I might still tell MIL to get it though...why are MIL's so obstinate! Mine is no exception!

I have not yet, but I will be getting it. I have discussed this with my doctor and will be getting both the flu and pertussis vaccines before I leave the hospital with LO.

mamacrunch · October 2011

This is what I am doing. Now some people may think I am a total "b" for this but My child my rules!

My parents really think the flu shot gives you the flu and refuse to get it.

My family and friend can choose one of two options:

1) Get the flu shot and they can see MY child

or

2) Not get the shot and keep the behind at home.

I don't give a crap who's feeling I hurt, I would rather hurt somebody's feelings than allow risk to come to my son's health. I am not forcing anyone to do anything. I am just setting rules.

Now if somebody comes to me and can genuinely provide a reason as to why they can't get the shot (ex allergic to eggs etc.) then and ONLY then will they be allowed to see my son after they wash their hands, wear a mask and don't whine about any of it.

BritanyV · October 2011

The flu shot doesn't protect against every strain of the flu that is out there. It is just their best "guess" of what strain(s) will be prevalent this year. So everyone that gets the flu shot could still get the flu.

The best thing to do is to have everyone wash their hands before holding the baby. Don't let anyone with sniffles or who is not feeling well be around the baby.

Also, breastfeeding is one of the best things you can to do too.

awesnap · October 2011

Well, you could have her wash her hands or not let her actually hold or touch the baby while she is there, I think that would minimize your risk. Make sure she doesn't sneeze or cough on the baby. If you get the flu shot, there should be some immunity built up. Plus I thought the peak of flu season was in Jan/feb?

We are simply asking if you do not feel well to not touch the baby. We didn't ask anyone to get the flu shot.

anonomity · October 2011

BritanyV:
The flu shot doesn't protect against every strain of the flu that is out there. It is just their best "guess" of what strain(s) will be prevalent this year. So everyone that gets the flu shot could still get the flu.
The best thing to do is to have everyone wash their hands before holding the baby. Don't let anyone with sniffles or who is not feeling well be around the baby.
Also, breastfeeding is one of the best things you can to do too.

Yeah, I know the flu shot won't protect against every strain, but I feel like its the best protection we have available and it is crazy not to get it. I do also plan to make everyone wash their hands and use hand sanitizer.

I also plan to breastfeed, but according to the doctors I have talked to it can take a few weeks for the baby to fully be protected by mom's breastfeeding antibodies. Especially if I don't get the flu vaccine until LO is born.

anonomity · October 2011

awesnap:
I thought the peak of flu season was in Jan/feb?

I thought it was from Nov/Dec to Jan/Feb... but either way, LO will still be a "newborn" from 0-3 months. Wink

awesnap · October 2011

anonomity:
BritanyV:
The flu shot doesn't protect against every strain of the flu that is out there. It is just their best "guess" of what strain(s) will be prevalent this year. So everyone that gets the flu shot could still get the flu.
The best thing to do is to have everyone wash their hands before holding the baby. Don't let anyone with sniffles or who is not feeling well be around the baby.
Also, breastfeeding is one of the best things you can to do too.
Yeah, I know the flu shot won't protect against every strain, but I feel like its the best protection we have available and it is crazy not to get it. I do also plan to make everyone wash their hands and use hand sanitizer.
I also plan to breastfeed, but according to the doctors I have talked to it can take a few weeks for the baby to fully be protected by mom's breastfeeding antibodies. Especially if I don't get the flu vaccine until LO is born.

So why not get the vaccine now so LO will be covered as soon as they born? If flu season starts in October, then wouldn't you be at risk if you waited until delivery? You just said it's crazy not to get it...

molRN · October 2011

BritanyV:
The flu shot doesn't protect against every strain of the flu that is out there. It is just their best "guess" of what strain(s) will be prevalent this year. So everyone that gets the flu shot could still get the flu.
The best thing to do is to have everyone wash their hands before holding the baby. Don't let anyone with sniffles or who is not feeling well be around the baby.
Also, breastfeeding is one of the best things you can to do too.

this exactly!

UsafWifey09 · October 2011

First of all, your child your rules. Just know that the flu shot is only 3-4 of the most popular flu viruses from the year BEFORE. There is thousands of different influenzas. I am not going to do this, but I will make sure they wash their hands and are not showing any symptoms. If I had a MIL who worked with kids, I would have her see the baby on a day she wasn't with kids.If not, she can wait a few weeks. Like I said you shouldn't feel bad for trying to protect your baby, but you shouldn't try and force someone to change their medical preference. At the end, if your LO does get the flu from MIL you and your DH are the only ones that are going to feel guilty. Your MIL should understand you are only trying to protect the baby and to come by in a few weeks.

UsafWifey09 · October 2011

BritanyV:

The flu shot doesn't protect against every strain of the flu that is out there. It is just their best "guess" of what strain(s) will be prevalent this year. So everyone that gets the flu shot could still get the flu.

The best thing to do is to have everyone wash their hands before holding the baby. Don't let anyone with sniffles or who is not feeling well be around the baby.

Also, breastfeeding is one of the best things you can to do too.

^^ that

NY-allie · October 2011

Maybe I'm the minority but I think its a little rude to tell people they have to go get a vaccine before seeing your LO. How are you going to check this, also are you going to check their entire medical history to make sure they might not be missing some other vaccine...

If you are concerned about LO staying healthy you should just put in place a wash your hands when you come in the door policy and don't come over when you are not well.

jkfranklin · October 2011

I personally think that hand washing is much better at protecting LO against the flu than any vaccine. (Just my opinion.) People can still have the flu or any other illness and have no symptoms. If I'm not mistaken, once you have symptoms of the flu you start to become less and less contagious.

I guess I don't understand why the flu is such a big deal. Are you checking to make sure people are up on the MMR or say small pox immunity?

ktsnshn · October 2011

My mom is a teacher and I was a teacher before I had DS. I never would have asked anyone other than my DH to get a flu shot. Our rule was wash hands before holding the baby and if someone felt at all sick to either not hold the baby or not visit depending on the symptoms. I certainly would not keep a healthy grandparent away from my baby just because he or she did not get the flu shot.

xoladiebug · October 2011

BritanyV:
The flu shot doesn't protect against every strain of the flu that is out there. It is just their best "guess" of what strain(s) will be prevalent this year. So everyone that gets the flu shot could still get the flu.

This is very true!

ColleenS629 · October 2011

To be honest, I used to roll my eyes at people that required others to get shots to see their baby. After talking to the pedis we interviewed and going to our class at the hospital, I changed my mind. Unlike PP said, the risk isn't about your LO getting the flu. According to the pedis I saw and the nurse at the hospital, for the first 2 months after the baby's EDD, if they get sick, they don't just get a cold or the flu, it goes to all of their systems and they usually have to be admitted to the hospital. They all recommended that anyone spending time with our LOs get the flu shot and the pertussis vaccine. I already talked to my mom about it but DH still has to talk to MIL. She wants to stay with us around Christmas so if she is going to, she needs to have those shots. We're not asking everyone that wants to meet the babies to get them, like my extended family that we'll only see at Christmas, but people that will regularly be around them can choose to get the shots, or not be around the babies a lot. If they are meeting the babies once, we'll ask them to wash their hands and not be around them if they have been exposed to anyone that was sick within the last week or so. Our babies have a good likelihood of being preemies and I am not willing to take the chance of them getting sick and needing to be hospitalized just for the convenience of other people.

Also, one of the pedis told me that if you get the flu shot while pg it takes about a month to build up the immunity so it's not an instantaneous thing that your LO will automatically be protected from right away. They will get the rest from your milk but they won't be 100% protected (from the strains it covers) right away if you give birth within a month of getting the shot.

easjer05 · October 2011

NY-allie:
Maybe I'm the minority but I think its a little rude to tell people they have to go get a vaccine before seeing your LO. How are you going to check this, also are you going to check their entire medical history to make sure they might not be missing some other vaccine...
If you are concerned about LO staying healthy you should just put in place a wash your hands when you come in the door policy and don't come over when you are not well.

Yeah, I'm in agreement with this, and jkfranklin's point about other vaccines with even more potentially serious illnesses. I mean, ultimately it is your choice, of course, but having the flu shot does not protect against every strain of the virus and is no protection from exposure to germs on, say, clothes or bags.

I don't advocate exposure, and common sense is all very well, but I wonder if the extreme measures like constant anti-bacterial dousing isn't making things worse by not exposing us to a wide variety of bacterias.

RunSchwartzRun · October 2011

awesnap:
anonomity:
BritanyV:
The flu shot doesn't protect against every strain of the flu that is out there. It is just their best "guess" of what strain(s) will be prevalent this year. So everyone that gets the flu shot could still get the flu.
The best thing to do is to have everyone wash their hands before holding the baby. Don't let anyone with sniffles or who is not feeling well be around the baby.
Also, breastfeeding is one of the best things you can to do too.
Yeah, I know the flu shot won't protect against every strain, but I feel like its the best protection we have available and it is crazy not to get it. I do also plan to make everyone wash their hands and use hand sanitizer.
I also plan to breastfeed, but according to the doctors I have talked to it can take a few weeks for the baby to fully be protected by mom's breastfeeding antibodies. Especially if I don't get the flu vaccine until LO is born.
So why not get the vaccine now so LO will be covered as soon as they born? If flu season starts in October, then wouldn't you be at risk if you waited until delivery? You just said it's crazy not to get it...

Sorry, I agree with this. This would pass the protection on to your baby...problem solved. Seems a bit weird to demand that other people get it but not get it yourself when you could do it now.

Izabella22 · October 2011

jkfranklin:

I personally think that hand washing is much better at protecting LO against the flu than any vaccine.

This is true more than anything else, washing hands is the best protection.

Its certainly a personal choice, its your child, but I don't know how you can tell her to get a flu shot if its not her preference (esp if you are considering waiting until LO is here - I don't really understand the logic there, the flu shot is recommended for pg women and I'd think you'd want to share those antibodies while Lo is still in utero) Dh rarely gets them but I told him that if he brought the flu home to me or baby, he might be sleeping in the basement so he sucked it up this year. At the same time, I won't ask anyone else to get the shot, just to wash hands and stay home if they are sick. My mom works with preschool kids and everytime we visit, *I* get sick - she's got a good immune system, me... not so much. But i know I'm going to need her help so I'm not going to tell her to stay away... I might take some airborne while she's visiting though!

At the same time, Dh's granddaughter just passed away at 13 days old from a virus she contracted after birth (not the flu)...Granted, she was transported in ambulances (dirty) between 3 hospitals (ummm yeah more germs), so she was exposed to who knows what... but I do understand the paranoia. I'm trying to keep it to a minimum, but yeah... its hard not to.

anonomity · October 2011

RunSchwartzRun:
awesnap:
anonomity:
BritanyV:
The flu shot doesn't protect against every strain of the flu that is out there. It is just their best "guess" of what strain(s) will be prevalent this year. So everyone that gets the flu shot could still get the flu.
The best thing to do is to have everyone wash their hands before holding the baby. Don't let anyone with sniffles or who is not feeling well be around the baby.
Also, breastfeeding is one of the best things you can to do too.
Yeah, I know the flu shot won't protect against every strain, but I feel like its the best protection we have available and it is crazy not to get it. I do also plan to make everyone wash their hands and use hand sanitizer.
I also plan to breastfeed, but according to the doctors I have talked to it can take a few weeks for the baby to fully be protected by mom's breastfeeding antibodies. Especially if I don't get the flu vaccine until LO is born.
So why not get the vaccine now so LO will be covered as soon as they born? If flu season starts in October, then wouldn't you be at risk if you waited until delivery? You just said it's crazy not to get it...
Sorry, I agree with this. This would pass the protection on to your baby...problem solved. Seems a bit weird to demand that other people get it but not get it yourself when you could do it now.

It is my understanding that the baby still would not be fully protected by my breastfeeding antibodies for 2-3 weeks anyway, even if I got the vaccine while pregnant. If I get the vaccine as soon as LO is born, he or she will still protected after 2-3 weeks. Either way, LO will not have protection from the flu when our immediate families come to visit days after birth. Which is why we asked them to get the flu shot to begin with.

anonomity · October 2011

ColleenS629:
Unlike PP said, the risk isn't about your LO getting the flu. According to the pedis I saw and the nurse at the hospital, for the first 2 months after the baby's EDD, if they get sick, they don't just get a cold or the flu, it goes to all of their systems and they usually have to be admitted to the hospital. They all recommended that anyone spending time with our LOs get the flu shot and the pertussis vaccine.

Exactly. And this is the current CDC recommendation as well.

HadleyS · October 2011

I think that since you got the flu shot, and especially if you breastfee, that your baby will be pretty well-protected. Honestly even babies that are born in the summer are susceptible to the flu (maybe even a little more so because no one gets the flu shot during that time and the virus can still hang around even then).

...But as a new mom, I would be kinda pissed at my MIL for being so hard-headed about it. Everyone (that is educated about the flu) knows that YOU DON'T GET THE FLU FROM GETTING THE FLU SHOT. If you do get the flu, it's from a strain that wasn't contained in the flu-shot and fate was gonna get sick anyway!

I really like the idea of making her wear the mask, and I would be sure to tell her that in advance before LO arrives...she needs to let it sink in that allllllllll of those brand new baby pics of her and her grandchild will look different (in an odd way) than every other family members' pics with your baby. Her face won't be seen in the pics!

Junebug060609 · October 2011

I'm not one that's alright with requiring someone to get a vax before seeing our child. We'll be doing the handwashing & opting out of visits if someone is sick route.

I'm also not understanding why you're not getting the flu shot yourself now. The sooner you get it, the more chance of passing on some of the immunity from it to your LO. That would potentially provide more protection to baby than its grandmother getting a shot, KWIM? You don't have to wait until delivery to get the shot, just get a preservative free non-live virus version.

BritanyV · October 2011

anonomity:
RunSchwartzRun:
awesnap:
anonomity:
BritanyV:
The flu shot doesn't protect against every strain of the flu that is out there. It is just their best "guess" of what strain(s) will be prevalent this year. So everyone that gets the flu shot could still get the flu.
The best thing to do is to have everyone wash their hands before holding the baby. Don't let anyone with sniffles or who is not feeling well be around the baby.
Also, breastfeeding is one of the best things you can to do too.
Yeah, I know the flu shot won't protect against every strain, but I feel like its the best protection we have available and it is crazy not to get it. I do also plan to make everyone wash their hands and use hand sanitizer.
I also plan to breastfeed, but according to the doctors I have talked to it can take a few weeks for the baby to fully be protected by mom's breastfeeding antibodies. Especially if I don't get the flu vaccine until LO is born.
So why not get the vaccine now so LO will be covered as soon as they born? If flu season starts in October, then wouldn't you be at risk if you waited until delivery? You just said it's crazy not to get it...
Sorry, I agree with this. This would pass the protection on to your baby...problem solved. Seems a bit weird to demand that other people get it but not get it yourself when you could do it now.
It is my understanding that the baby still would not be fully protected by my breastfeeding antibodies for 2-3 weeks anyway, even if I got the vaccine while pregnant. If I get the vaccine as soon as LO is born, he or she will still protected after 2-3 weeks. Either way, LO will not have protection from the flu when our immediate families come to visit days after birth. Which is why we asked them to get the flu shot to begin with.

I *believe*...don't quote me though...that babies already have mother's immunity from birth, you don't have to build it up after birth, you are just adding to it with breastfeeding.

ColleenS629 · October 2011

BritanyV:
anonomity:
RunSchwartzRun:
awesnap:
anonomity:
BritanyV:
The flu shot doesn't protect against every strain of the flu that is out there. It is just their best "guess" of what strain(s) will be prevalent this year. So everyone that gets the flu shot could still get the flu.
The best thing to do is to have everyone wash their hands before holding the baby. Don't let anyone with sniffles or who is not feeling well be around the baby.
Also, breastfeeding is one of the best things you can to do too.
Yeah, I know the flu shot won't protect against every strain, but I feel like its the best protection we have available and it is crazy not to get it. I do also plan to make everyone wash their hands and use hand sanitizer.
I also plan to breastfeed, but according to the doctors I have talked to it can take a few weeks for the baby to fully be protected by mom's breastfeeding antibodies. Especially if I don't get the flu vaccine until LO is born.
So why not get the vaccine now so LO will be covered as soon as they born? If flu season starts in October, then wouldn't you be at risk if you waited until delivery? You just said it's crazy not to get it...
Sorry, I agree with this. This would pass the protection on to your baby...problem solved. Seems a bit weird to demand that other people get it but not get it yourself when you could do it now.
It is my understanding that the baby still would not be fully protected by my breastfeeding antibodies for 2-3 weeks anyway, even if I got the vaccine while pregnant. If I get the vaccine as soon as LO is born, he or she will still protected after 2-3 weeks. Either way, LO will not have protection from the flu when our immediate families come to visit days after birth. Which is why we asked them to get the flu shot to begin with.
I *believe*...don't quote me though...that babies already have mother's immunity from birth, you don't have to build it up after birth, you are just adding to it with breastfeeding.

The pedi we talked to said that it takes a month after the flu vaccine to build up all the antibodies. Maybe that's what she's talking about.

authorofdreamz · October 2011

I couldn't imagine requiring anyone to get a flu shot before being around LO but especially not a grandparent. It doesn't even seem practical, I mean what are you going to do ask them to show you proof at the door before entering? And are you planning to stay inside until April/May because you can't require strangers to get a flu shot. No one that will be around my LO will have a flu shot including me and SO and I am not the least worried. I've never had a flu shot in my life and neither has anyone else in my family and we're all fine.

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WWPgALD? re: flu season/newborns/visitors

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