I hate what time H comes home...

adri77 · October 2011

He's been coming home about 10 min after I get the boys to bed....and they can hear him and are DYING to see him (understandably). So then he goes in to see them. BUT then they don't get to sleep till much later than I need them to, are up just as early as ever (530-630) and MISERABLE by the evening(which I am ALONE for).......REPEAT. I'm so tired and sore I'm having trouble dealing!!!! Just needed to vent

OMG, throw in a newborn soon!!! Craziness!!!!

sbelle3 · October 2011

My SIL has the same problem with her DH. I know it drives her crazy. Sorry no advice here. I just feel bad for you!

MommaErica · October 2011

This happens in our house a few nights a week as well. We used to stay up until Daddy came home but, wound up with an overextended child. No, we go to bed at bedtime and when my husband goes in, he does bed time things. My husband goes in, reads him a story and lays down with him for a few minutes.

He still gets his Daddy time but, it's kept VERY low key and stays part of the bedtime routine. This has worked quite well for us and doesn't delay sleep much.

varkeyr · October 2011

Why not have your DH read them a story? That way the boys are in bed, H gets time with them and you can rest. Win- win for everyone.

brandifinch · October 2011

I understand same at our house. Im trying to get ds on a schedule and its really hard right now when dh gets home late I hope it will get all straightened out before lo comes!

adri77 · October 2011

varkeyr:
Why not have your DH read them a story? That way the boys are in bed, H gets time with them and you can rest. Win- win for everyone.

They do read books....but they also get SO excited and hyper when he gets home...it just takes a very very long time to get them settled back down to the point I had them at....books included!!! Boys are CRAZY!!!!

MommaErica · October 2011

adri77:
varkeyr:
Why not have your DH read them a story? That way the boys are in bed, H gets time with them and you can rest. Win- win for everyone.

They do read books....but they also get SO excited and hyper when he gets home...it just takes a very very long time to get them settled back down to the point I had them at....books included!!! Boys are CRAZY!!!!

I don't think it's a boy issue. As I say, our son does great with this routine. Maybe your husband needs to make more time for his children, that way the little bit of time they get to see him at bed time wouldn't be such a novelty or be so exciting and they would be able to just relax and enjoy a story or two. The issue could be that they feel like they have to squeeze in all the Daddy they are going to get into a few short minutes.

kristalovesjared · October 2011

My DD does the same thing... she is still in her crib, but while I'm making dinner I have her go lay down in her crib and relax for 45 minutes... she seems like she can handle staying up an extra hour if she gets the quiet time. If I'm lucky she falls asleep and I wake her up after an hour so she'll still go to bed!

adri77 · October 2011

MommaErica:
adri77:

varkeyr:
Why not have your DH read them a story? That way the boys are in bed, H gets time with them and you can rest. Win- win for everyone.

They do read books....but they also get SO excited and hyper when he gets home...it just takes a very very long time to get them settled back down to the point I had them at....books included!!! Boys are CRAZY!!!!

I don't think it's a boy issue. As I say, our son does great with this routine. Maybe your husband needs to make more time for his children, that way the little bit of time they get to see him at bed time wouldn't be such a novelty or be so exciting and they would be able to just relax and enjoy a story or two. The issue could be that they feel like they have to squeeze in all the Daddy they are going to get into a few short minutes.

You have 1 boy. 2 boys together= crazy. They feed off eachother. They are also new to sharing a room, new to bunk beds as of 1 month ago. Sorry, I take offense to the "h needs to make more time for his children" comment. I'm a SAHM. His office has fired 1 person last month, laid off about 10 in the past 2 years. He is one of 3 left, inculding his boss. We NEED his job. Not to mention he commutes 3 hours a day. He is a WONDERFUL dad and husband and does his best to make time for them in the mornings, a few minutes per night on weekdays and is home all weekend.

littlewinnie15 · October 2011

adri77:
MommaErica:
adri77:

varkeyr:
Why not have your DH read them a story? That way the boys are in bed, H gets time with them and you can rest. Win- win for everyone.

They do read books....but they also get SO excited and hyper when he gets home...it just takes a very very long time to get them settled back down to the point I had them at....books included!!! Boys are CRAZY!!!!

I don't think it's a boy issue. As I say, our son does great with this routine. Maybe your husband needs to make more time for his children, that way the little bit of time they get to see him at bed time wouldn't be such a novelty or be so exciting and they would be able to just relax and enjoy a story or two. The issue could be that they feel like they have to squeeze in all the Daddy they are going to get into a few short minutes.

You have 1 boy. 2 boys together= crazy. They feed off eachother. They are also new to sharing a room, new to bunk beds as of 1 month ago. Sorry, I take offense to the "h needs to make more time for his children" comment. I'm a SAHM. His office has fired 1 person last month, laid off about 10 in the past 2 years. He is one of 3 left, inculding his boss. We NEED his job. Not to mention he commutes 3 hours a day. He is a WONDERFUL dad and husband and does his best to make time for them in the mornings, a few minutes per night on weekdays and is home all weekend.

O.M.G. I was offended FOR YOU when I read that comment.

MommaErica, where do you get off jumping to such an offensive conclusion? That was incredibly rude.

OP, if I were in your shoes I might ask my husband to come home a little later - maybe your boys would be asleep by then? At least just until you get through your pregnancy/first few weeks with LO, so you don't have to be the one suffering from sleep deprivation because of the whole situation.

adri77 · October 2011

littlewinnie15:
adri77:
MommaErica:
adri77:

varkeyr:
Why not have your DH read them a story? That way the boys are in bed, H gets time with them and you can rest. Win- win for everyone.

They do read books....but they also get SO excited and hyper when he gets home...it just takes a very very long time to get them settled back down to the point I had them at....books included!!! Boys are CRAZY!!!!

I don't think it's a boy issue. As I say, our son does great with this routine. Maybe your husband needs to make more time for his children, that way the little bit of time they get to see him at bed time wouldn't be such a novelty or be so exciting and they would be able to just relax and enjoy a story or two. The issue could be that they feel like they have to squeeze in all the Daddy they are going to get into a few short minutes.

You have 1 boy. 2 boys together= crazy. They feed off eachother. They are also new to sharing a room, new to bunk beds as of 1 month ago. Sorry, I take offense to the "h needs to make more time for his children" comment. I'm a SAHM. His office has fired 1 person last month, laid off about 10 in the past 2 years. He is one of 3 left, inculding his boss. We NEED his job. Not to mention he commutes 3 hours a day. He is a WONDERFUL dad and husband and does his best to make time for them in the mornings, a few minutes per night on weekdays and is home all weekend.

O.M.G. I was offended FOR YOU when I read that comment.

MommaErica, where do you get off jumping to such an offensive conclusion? That was incredibly rude.

OP, if I were in your shoes I might ask my husband to come home a little later - maybe your boys would be asleep by then? At least just until you get through your pregnancy/first few weeks with LO, so you don't have to be the one suffering from sleep deprivation because of the whole situation.

Thank you And thank you for the non-judgemental suggestion....I have been thinking about asking him to come home a little later OR be completely silent when he comes home-haha (he's a loud talker) so that they don't know he's home...just for a few more weeks or so. Good suggestion.

sarahjames9 · October 2011

I am sorry you have to juggle so much by yourself, especially while pregnant and soon to have a newborn. I was going to suggest your H come home a little later too, to make sure the boys are already asleep. Either that, or try to get them to bed even earlier. Maybe just for temporary at least.

cranburycakes · October 2011

We have a similar situation at our house - two boys (4 and 2) and it's very hard to get down calm for bedtime. My husband works a lot too and the boys get very excited when he comes home. If he is going to come home right at bedtime, I have asked him to just go in quietly and say goodnight or be very very quiet so they don't hear him.

Bedtime and two boys is very hard at this stage in pregnancy (I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow). At the end of the day, I am physically and mentally exhausted from chasing them and taking care of them all day. I need them to go to bed. Plus, like yours, mine are very early morning people, and they get up at the same time no matter what time they go to bed.

Hang in there! Even though there will be a newborn added to the mix, it will be physically easier to take care of them once the baby is born (at least that's what I found last time).

You are not alone

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