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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
virginiagirl11
member
Anyone else feel like they're having a harder time adjusting than others?
virginiagirl11
member
Anyone else feel like they're having a harder time than others adjusting to their new lives?
Don't get me wrong, I don't mean that I miss my old life. I miss certain aspects (having more time to exercise), but I don't miss that life as a whole and I was ready to leave it behind when we TTC. We are absolutely head-over-heels for DS.
What I mean is that I feel, compared to other new moms I know personally, that each week is more of a battle for me. Granted, if I'm being logical, it is mostly likely due to the fact that their LO's are in daycare or the mom stays at home with the LO while DH and I trade off watching LO while we both work full time (waiting for a spot at daycare). It is friggin exhausting even though we recently hired a part-time sitter to ease a little bit of the burden.
I also know that my DS is much more demanding than all of their LO's are. Probably combined. Ha. Love him, though.
However, I still wonder if I'm doing something wrong. Why don't I seem to be taking this in stride as well as the other women are? I love being a mom and am working my ass off to try to keep up with everything but I feel like I'm struggling to balance it all much more than they are.
Sorry, I know that's vague. Anyone else just sort of feel "off" like this?
natural m/c 7.1.10 
: sticky baby 4.25.11 : #2 due 5.18.13
: sticky baby 4.25.11 : #2 due 5.18.13
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Re: Anyone else feel like they're having a harder time adjusting than others?
I still feel this way sometimes. I feel like my life isn't quite what I thought it would be with a child. I knew it woud be hard but I am having a hard time balancing life. I feel like it is ALL about the baby. I feel the same way about other moms. I got PPD really bad after DD and then my best friend has her baby last month and is exactly the same happy person. Not that I wanted her to have PPD....but she is just so happy. I am happy to have DD but some days I just want to go home and relax like I use to.
I get what you are saying about not being able to put your finger on what exactly is wrong. If I could I would fix it.
plus I think DH is having a little bit of a hard time too.
Yes. I'm a SAHM, DS is a pretty easy baby, and I STILL feel like I'm adjusting. At times I mourn the "old life" of carefree times. Just being able to turn my brain off for a whole day and not have to be responsible... those are the times I miss!
I think it's normal to feel this way, and feel overwhelmed. And just remember, people tend to put their best face forward; you may think your friends are having an easier time, but they may just not be talking about the tough times, kwim?
Thank you! I really don't *think* this is PPD? I don't feel depressed exactly. Sleep definitely, definitely affects my ability to manage things but I do feel present in DS's everyday activities and life. I don't resent DS at all and I don't feel like there's a cloud over everything. I just feel like I am constantly fighting all of the forces that surround DS - fighting to make enough milk for him, fighting to pump enough milk every day, fighting to fit in enough time at work to pump AND make it to the chiropractor for adjustments I've needed since DS was born AND make it to the gym twice a week as prescribed by the chiropractor for my back AND get my work done, fighting to fit in everything I need to do at night before bed while still allowing for DS to wake up in the middle of the night and still getting enough sleep to function, etc.
DH is doing everything he can, too, and he is completely worn out, too. Like I said, though, our DS is also very active and demanding so we have to save almost everything outside of him for when he goes to bed at night. He is not even 6 months old, yet our 19 y.o. babysitter, whom we hired after clearly stating that he is very active, always moving, etc. and clarifying that she could handle it., asked my DH exhaustedly last week if DS ever sat still.
One of my close girlfriends just had a baby in early Sept. and I made sure to contact her a lot so that she wouldn't feel alone and I offered as much help as I was able to given our schedule, etc. I expected to hear a lot of the same sentiments I had during the first weeks with DS. Yet every time I see her, she's calm, does not seem terribly sleep deprived, everything's going fine, she doesn't need help, baby is pretty manageable, etc. I'm like wait a sec, did you just have a baby?? It completely knocked both DH and me off our asses yet apparently that's not the case for this friend and seemingly other people we know.
Yes, I realize this is probably part of it. But I have been looking at this closely for the last couple of months whenever we visit other people or meet them for dinner, etc., and all of them consistently seem to be having an easier time than we are for whatever reason.
I felt that way for a long time after my daughter was born. Having a new baby is hard. And it sounds like you have some challenges other people don't have. Try not to compare yourself to others. Most people try to present a positive face to the world, so don't assume things are as easy for others as it seems to be.
Hang in there, it really does get better.
Thank you. You're probably right. I will be interested to see how this changes once daycare opens up for DS. Hopefully things will get a lot more manageable.
This exactly. Don't buy what these other moms are selling you. Most people will say everything is happy/perfect/wonderful because they think they have to with the new baby. Everyone struggles.
I am having a hard time getting used to our routines. DS started daycare a week ago and I feel so overwhelmed every single night. I feel like Im not spending enough time with him, I cant keep up with laundry, cleaning, dinners etc..Weekends are exhausting too.
I miss the weekend mornings when I could stay in bed as long as I wanted. LO is an early riser, he is up by 5.30 every morning.
I think you'd be fooling yourself if you didn't admit to sometimes missing your prior life. I still feel that way, and DD is 3.5 years old! I miss lazy Sundays when I could run for two hours and spend the rest of the day laying around reading the paper. Would I go back to that if I could? No. I love my kids and my life is much richer, but still ...
And I have to tell you that just today I found myself near tears thinking that I feel like such a failure. My house is always a mess. I am dealing with my fourth or fifth breast infection, which I blame on stress and lack of sleep. DS wakes up all. night. long. DD keeps waking up screaming from growing pains (I think). DD has been having major, major screaming fits several times a day, and I feel inadequate in that I can't seem to stop them. I even feel like a professional failure.
So yeah, I'm still adjusting.