Mom vent about BF

EVM1216 · October 2011

When I got pg my 2 cousins that had LOs before me warned me that my mom was a BF nazi, that she harased them before the had thier LO to BF and after then had LO and stapped BF (after about 2 weeks) she gave them the condensending lecture about how they should have BF. So I was prepared for this, and made it my goal to beat my mom's BF record (6 months) and I figured that I'd have an awesome ally in my mom.

Wrong. Once I went back to work anytime I brought up any BF question or issue my mom was really not encouraging. When I had supply issues she said "Don't bother trying to keep up with her, I never did" or when LO got her first teeth mom was like, "Better start waeaning her now because now she'll bite you." (This was when she blamed me for her stopping BF because I bit her and she had visions of "having to have her nipple sown back on"). This weekend inquired as to how many times a day DD is nursing now that she's eating a lot of solids. I responded that I'm only nursing her 6 times a day now when I'm home with her on the weekends (as opposed to 7-8 that I had been just a month ago.) My mom's response: "Wow that's a lot. It's going to take you atleast 6 weeks to wean her! You're going to have to start that soon." Then I had to explain that BF is still going really well, and I planned on not starting the weaning process until after her first birthday. Ugh! Why can't she just be proud of me and not feel the need to let me know that its ok to stop BF, I know that I can stop whenever I want to, I just don't want to right now.

If you read all of that thanks. I just needed to complain. I just feel fortunate that I found a place here where I could have my BF questions answered and put into perspective, because if I had to rely on my mom I'd have given this up months ago.

kat81again2 · October 2011

omg, wow, that is horrible. She is a BF nazi. Her way or no way. Maybe if you had BF exactly to 6 mo then she'd have been happy.

I wonder if she had a really hard time with it, so a) she thinks that everyone should have to have that hard time with it and stick with it like she did but b) she's really insecure about having not done it longer.

I'm so sorry. It really sucks when your mom is not supportive about something like this. My mom has been very supportive of me breastfeeding, but she's the ONLY person who has a problem with me doing it in public and it really gets on my nerves. I know, a much smaller deal, but I'm just saying coming from your mom it's worse than from other people.

PGASTL · October 2011

I agree with you in that this is a great place for support. My family is supportive of BFing, but they are still kind of confused by the whole process. My older sister was so "icked out" by BFing that she EP'ed from day 1.

They definitely give me the side eye sometimes when I just start NIP (I don't use a cover either - I keep a blanket on hand to be sure that I'm covered up, but I don't put a cover over LOs head because she just grabs it off anyway).

jessmae10 · October 2011

Oh, that is too bad, but I am glad your finding support somewhere. I think the comments come from a place of guilt- for whatever reason, that you have found it so easy and have been able to continue for so long. I tend to always hear the reasons why people did not breastfeed when I tell them that I am, and I am not questioning them or judging...they just feel the need to explain to me why it didn't work for them. Also, when asked how long I would breastfeed for, I always said- hopefully for three months, then hopefully for six months and now it's hopefully for a year. Which is true, it really depends on how long it is working for the both of us. But now that we are getting closer to a year, I get asked more frequently- I think if I go past a year- the smiles from "aww your breastfeeding" will turn to "oh, your still breastfeeding?'...which I don't mind....it's just interesting the different responses you can get

EVM1216 · October 2011

I know that part of it is guilt. And I've tried to tell her that I know that if I had faced the issues that she had (using a manual pump in a non-private breakroom, ick) I'd not have lasted as long as I have.

Now I have to worry about my cousins hating me because I bet that from now on my bf nazi mom will use me as an example to them "Well my daughter did it for X months..." (sigh)

EarsToYou · October 2011

You are doing awesome to have gotten this far! That sucks that your mom's being so crazy about bf. My mom is kind of a bf Nazi too, but it was worse before I had LO, she's backed off a little since he got here. At least you can take a step back, shake your head, and let it roll on off your back.