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Food Allergy
LuH55
member
Anyone else's family unsupportive? (vent)
LuH55
member
in Food Allergy
...Just wondering. It's my mom. I love her but we always have our ups and downs. Well, LO being diagnosed with MSPI is no exception. She of course "doesn't believe" that's what it is, or that it could be true. Her advice to me was to take what the Dr. said with a grain of salt and decide what I want to do myself. I understood where she was coming from, but when my LO was consistently having blood in her poo and trying to eliminate M/S was the only choice, we weren't going to mess around with that! I mean, excuse me for not wanting blood in her diapers!?? My mom has also said things like, "Oh, so she'll have a little blood." Umm, NO! That's not okay with me!
On top of all this, she is constantly throwing it in my face. She cooks EVERYTHING with milk and butter so makes me feel bad/terrible for needing something else. DH, God bless him, is doing the diet with me. She has said a few times now, "Oh, just eat it while she's not looking!" Last time this happened, I blew up at her and played a card I did not want to play, by letting her know that DH's family actually made an entire M/S free dinner for us last time we were there. (I was very touched). Also, this wknd my family came to visit. My mom brought a pumpkin pie for everyone. I love pumpkin pie, but will not be having it this year. (Unless I find a dairy free recipe). Okkkk so maybe she brought it for the rest of the family and didn't think it would be a big deal, and mayyybe I'm being a little sensitive about that one. Idk, I just feel like DH's family would have never done that....ok vent over. Anyone else?
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Re: Anyone else's family unsupportive? (vent)
first of all, blood in stool sounds like an allergy, not MSPI (or i may be wrong, but so far, everyone that had blood in stool is a bit more serious than MSPI).. I would confirm that with the doc just in case you may need an epipen..
It took us over a year to really get everyone to obey our rules with DS.. and till this day i still have dirty looks, eye rolls, and annoying in-law bad comments. I learned to not care so much b/c at the end it's my childs health. We learned we cannot leave our son in the care of certain people and only trust a very few.
I would never ever leave your child with someone you think isn't on board 100% b/c they will try to test her. I learned that unless it's your child and you are rushing him/her to the ER b/c she's going into shock or has a full diaper of blood you will never understand. I don't blame people for not getting it b/c to be honest, i probably would have not gotten it either if my son wasn't diagnosed. But i think people need to learn compassion.
Good luck and i hope your mom gets on board. Maybe print some literature or email her some video links about what happens when m/s does get into her body.. how it's just NOT WORTH IT.
btw - kudos to your DH! seriously!
So sorry to hear you're dealing with this! We also had blood in DD's stool and honestly, once you've seen that - especially when it's a lot - you don't want to mess with it or "test" the baby. That just sucks that your mom isn't on board.
Our families have been good for the most part - they're bad at reading labels, so we always have to ask and I usually bring or buy food that I can eat, just in case. They will often make something separate for me or use the safe butter, mayo, etc. in a small portion for me. So I wouldn't be upset about someone making foods for everyone else that you can't eat - it sounds like the bigger issue is your mom simply not respecting your diet. Hang in there!
Baby K ~ born July 1
I agree. You might need to have a HTH with your mom about your responsibilities as a parent - you and your husband are solely responsible for the health and well-being of your LO and how could you do anything that you know would hurt LO. At a very minimum, you need to let your mom know that she needs to respect that. It's no skin off of her back. Bring your own food if you need to and be done with that part of the issue.
Have the discussion when you are not in the situation so it's not a heated discussion. I noticed that relatives sometimes don't take the dietary changes you need to make seriously because they're never dealt with such a thing so a little one on one talk (or several! it's a process...) can help them understand.
Ugh...I'm getting the same thing from the IL's. They keep trying to tell me she is just "sensitive" to milk so it won't really hurt her--Um I think horrid diarrhea, and all over body rash and extreme diaper rash is hurting her. They keep trying to give her bites of things- like macaroni and cheese the other night-- and then when I tell them not to, they are like "Oh one little bite won't hurt her"
Annoying.
We had similar issues with my ILs. FIL would just give her whatever he felt like to eat. I had to literally follow him around when he had her at a party or visiting another house, etc. And when DH said something, IL's response would be "Well, she has to have it SOME time!". Um, no, she doesn't. Not if she's allergic to it. (And MIL is a nurse!!).
Even if DD had the tiniest bit of milk product (sometimes we weren't even sure where it came from), she would spend 3 days of no poop and stomach pain, followed by a really hard poop immediately followed by bloody, mucusy diarrhea. I don't know why some people have such a hard time respecting the fact that just because she didn't go into anaphylactic shock didn't mean she wasn't allergic. I would ask your mom to please not feed her anything unless you check it first. Period.
BTW - 2 years ago, I made a DF pumkin pie that came out good. I just used a can of Libby's pumpkin pie mix & followed the recipe, only I used coconut milk instead of cow's milk. It was a tiny bit loose, so I might use a little less coconut milk than the recipe calls for, but otherwise, it was delicious! There was a slight hint of coconut (which was yummy), but you really couldn't tell the difference!
ETA - DD didn't have a soy allergy, so I don't know if Libby's has any soy in it. I think the only other ingredient is eggs.