June 2011 Moms

I don't have it together afterall

Pity party warning but I really need to just vent. There was a post here once asking if we all felt we have it together with the LOs and I always said I let her lead and i have a relaxed approach to this but I have been questioning whether I should have or I should have followed a more structured routine. I EBF and bedtime is pretty routine.

She was sttn for 5-7 hours before and now we're every 3 hours at night and not wanting to go back to sleep unless nursed to sleep. Last night at 2am, she woke up I nursed her, back to crib drowsy but woke up and screaming wanting to be nursed to sleep instead. Ended up letting her cio for 10 minutes, and another 10 minutes in the bed with us. DH finally picked her up to take her to the office, things quiet down, I go in curious and what do i see? DH half asleep, Liv flopped on his lap, eyes wide open and some cartoon playing on Youtube! O M G right? I felt like I was losing it but couldn't blame poor tired DH who needed to be at work today. So back we go to bed and she was screaming again for 10 minutes. I thought she would be tired by then, her little eyes had bags! But no, she continued to scream, I was exhausted. So not only did I ended up nursing her to sleep, I nursed her to sleep IN bed with us! Actually she didn't fall asleep right away but I laid there with her, put on some lullabys for her and the next thing I know it was 6 hours later. I woke up even before she did! My first thought was that "we are going backwards!" A lot of you are STTN and LOs in their crib and here we are from crib to our bed, and nursing to sleep in bed!   

I feel defeated, by her. Today I nursed her in bed for naps until she's drowsy and she has been napping longer than 30 minutes each time. Sooooo different from how it was when I would nurse her and then put her in the crib which is sure to only get her napping for a max of 45 minutes. She used to wake just 10 minutes after I've put her down in her crib. Three times today I napped in bed with her and she lasted 1.5 hours! Right now she's been out for 2 hours. Aaahhh!! Where are we going with this?? I just feel like I am such a mess of a mom and that we're going backwards instead of forward. Crying

Thanks for reading if you got this far. Come to my house I'll bake you some brownies. 

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Re: I don't have it together afterall

  • I feel you. LO used to nap well and sleep at night well but when he started daycare at 6 weeks that ended and he has been a mess since. He has had a few nights of STTN or only waking 1-2 times but it's usually closer to 4 and he won't sleep unless nursed to sleep. I just try to tell myself that this is a phase and it won't last and soon I will wish I could have this cuddle time back. The Zoloft helps too or I would be a mess. Eta: please ship my brownies to my house as I am too tired to drive to VA tonight.
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  • When shall I arrive and should I bring wine? lol I'm close enough to you that I actually could come to your house and eat some brownies.

    Anyhoo, I'm so sorry you've hit a rough patch. :( If motherhood has taught me anything, it's that I don't know very much lol. You are not a mess of a mom. You're a mom who cares very deeply for her LO. And, while you may temporarily be going backwards, it's not like you'll always be moving backwards. Cut yourself some slack! Do you have any good sleep books that you could maybe refer to for some advice or tips? I know I'm always pimping Good Night Sleep Tight. It's a non CIO method of sleep training that has worked for us.

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  • 4 month wakeful. Even my 11hr sttn baby has been fighting sleep alllll day. I nursed her to sleep tonight and she was up 10 minutes later crying again. She never does that. I finally got her back down.

    I have always been go with the flow too and until now it's worked great. Hopefully the 4m wakeful passes soon.

  • My exhausted DS cried/screamed/sobbed his way through Thanksgiving dinner tonight.  Umm, I told you you should have napped longer...Stick out tongue

    Actually, not true, there were 2 ten-minute naps.  How could I forget those?

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  • imagesamara826:
    I feel you. LO used to nap well and sleep at night well but when he started daycare at 6 weeks that ended and he has been a mess since. He has had a few nights of STTN or only waking 1-2 times but it's usually closer to 4 and he won't sleep unless nursed to sleep. I just try to tell myself that this is a phase and it won't last and soon I will wish I could have this cuddle time back. The Zoloft helps too or I would be a mess. Eta: please ship my brownies to my house as I am too tired to drive to VA tonight.

    Sorry you're going through the same thing. I've chucked it then to the 3 month growth spurt but we're a little past 4 months now! I know there's no exact time period but it just sucks feeling we're going backward. I just read an article on a baby magazine just now about a mom missing their time nursing together and it makes me feel a little better that I can at least still enjoy this now. "Cuddle time." Yes i should look at it more that way. 

    PS I actually live around Seattle. Not VA :D 

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  • imagehepcats:

    When shall I arrive and should I bring wine? lol I'm close enough to you that I actually could come to your house and eat some brownies.

    Anyhoo, I'm so sorry you've hit a rough patch. :( If motherhood has taught me anything, it's that I don't know very much lol. You are not a mess of a mom. You're a mom who cares very deeply for her LO. And, while you may temporarily be going backwards, it's not like you'll always be moving backwards. Cut yourself some slack! Do you have any good sleep books that you could maybe refer to for some advice or tips? I know I'm always pimping Good Night Sleep Tight. It's a non CIO method of sleep training that has worked for us.

     Seriously Issaquah is not that far! 

    I LOVE how you said the bolded! So humble and sooo true for me too. I'll have to check out the Good Night Sleep Tight. I was never a big proponent of CIO and I'm letting frustration and exhaustion get the best of me. And obviously the cio didn't work out, it just broke my heart and hers.

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  • imageTurtle143:
    I was never a big proponent of CIO and I'm letting frustration and exhaustion get the best of me. And obviously the cio didn't work out, it just broke my heart and hers.

    I'm not necessarily for or against CIO but I do know that any sleep method you try, you definitely have to try consistently for about a week or so before switching to a different method. I think that's why it's so derned hard to stick with it lol. You just get sooooooooooo worn out after the second or third night of it. :/ But the bolded part is why I hope to never have to use CIO. I don't like to hear LO cry either. :( 

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  • Don't feel bad- we had some serious regression last night too.  She woke up 3 times when she normally STTN- I'm sad to say I resorted to the full-swaddle (we had been working towards swaddle free- had gotten to legs out and one arm) and I nursed her to sleep twice.  I'm hoping it doesn't start to form bad habits, but I guess we do what we have to do to get them (and us!) some sleep.
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  • I think you are doing the right thing for your baby.  A good mom adjusts to her baby's needs and it sounds like that is what you are doing.  I wouldn't think of it as "regressing" just doing things a different way for a little while.  I'm not sure any baby started STTN and then continued it everyday the rest of her life.  Dr. Sears has a phrase "parenting your baby to sleep" and I like to think of it that way.  IMHO, 4 months is still really little and I'll do what I need to do to get her to sleep.

    But this is all from a mom whose baby has never STTN and is nursed to sleep for pretty much every nap and nighttime. :)

  • We've regressed way worse than you have, so don't feel bad. LO has never been a great sleeper but at least she used to sleep in her PnP. Now she will ONLY sleep in our bed and I have to side lie nurse her to sleep. My husband and I talked about it this morning and decided that we are waiting until 6 months and if she still will not sleep in her own bed then we'll start sleep training hardcore.
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  • imageTurtle143:

    imagesamara826:
    I feel you. LO used to nap well and sleep at night well but when he started daycare at 6 weeks that ended and he has been a mess since. He has had a few nights of STTN or only waking 1-2 times but it's usually closer to 4 and he won't sleep unless nursed to sleep. I just try to tell myself that this is a phase and it won't last and soon I will wish I could have this cuddle time back. The Zoloft helps too or I would be a mess. Eta: please ship my brownies to my house as I am too tired to drive to VA tonight.

    Sorry you're going through the same thing. I've chucked it then to the 3 month growth spurt but we're a little past 4 months now! I know there's no exact time period but it just sucks feeling we're going backward. I just read an article on a baby magazine just now about a mom missing their time nursing together and it makes me feel a little better that I can at least still enjoy this now. "Cuddle time." Yes i should look at it more that way. 

    PS I actually live around Seattle. Not VA :D 

    Oops I read Richmond not Redmond. That is an even further drive :)

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