Community› The Bump Message Boards› Adoption
Adoption
New Discussion

DH family is really making me furious today

dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
in Adoption
So my dh brother is a graphic designer we originally asked him to design our profile for us but he couldnt be bothered to visit us so we could show him what our agency required. We asked them to send us a couple photos of themselves ( bro in law and wife) so we could add them to our family section after making us explaining why we needed them 4 or 5 times they tell us to copy a picture off of facebook. Feeling like my bro inlaw really didnt care about the profile we decided to go with a designer that does this for a living. I posted on facebook how happy we were to almost be done with the profile how fast our designer was working. He gets on and is commenting how our profile has no bearing on whether or not we get picked and how we shouldnt pay any money to have it done. My MIL was recently telling me I should just keep trying and wonderful support of things like that. When we told her we were getting sent to a matching session she ignored it and refused to talk about it. I'm sick of the hurtful crap first we got married and they told me I thought I was doing just for his money. Four miscarriages and they cant be bothered to send us one condolence card, but they are all over me trying to take a crap on every step we go forward. I'm so angry I know its stupid and fb is evil but I dont see why they have to try to take the happiness we are hoping to have by adding a child to our family. I feel defeated
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt17cf53.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
Report Reply to Post

Re: DH family is really making me furious today

  • Art TeacherArt Teacher

    Wow.  I'm so sorry with how they are treating you and your husband.  I'm also so very sorry for all of your losses.  I can't imagine going through that and having part of the family not acknowledge it in some way, even if it was only sending a card. 

    I'm sorry that they are not being supportive.  Has your husband talked with them about how it's making you feel?  I have to think that your brother-in-law made those comments because he's feeling jealous that you went with someone besides him (which makes NO sense since he didn't take an active role in helping you with the profile.) 

    I would delete his comments on FB, I guess.  I would be tempted to write something about how you wouldn't have had to pay for the service if he (your BIL) had helped you, but that's just continuing an argument online, I suppose. 

    Honestly, I think I would avoid him if possible - you don't need that kind of negativity right now at all.  Adoption is a hard enough rollercoaster without family acting that way.

     

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    I dont deal with them any more since I had to tell my MIL to leave our house. After she said to me "You can bleed dh for all he has but you wont get any of our money" that is a direct quote. Now I just have dh talk to them I just couldn't believe it. We are going to be shown twice this month this is going to be the first grand child on dh side since BIL doesn't want children. I guess I thought that his family would rally around us
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt17cf53.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
    Report Reply
  • Art TeacherArt Teacher

    Wow...again, I'm so sorry.  I'm glad that you don't deal with them directly, but still...sounds like such a bad situation. 

    We'll be excited for you even if they aren't -- congrats on being shown TWICE!  That's fantastic! 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    Thank you you ladies have really been more of support for myself and dh then I can even say just having so many other people that have done this or are going through at the same time. When your having your worst day some one has good news and it gives you that little glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. Tell me about it we were shocked, when we signed up they didnt have any birth moms and they started writing up our home study and told us to put a rush on our profile they were going to show us to two different women. I'm so happy with our agency.
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt17cf53.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
    Report Reply
  • Art TeacherArt Teacher

    I'm glad you like your agency - that makes such a huge difference.  We felt the same about ours. 

    When we were waiting (and prior to it) the ladies on this board were a huge support to me/us, too.  I really don't know what I would have done without being able to come here and 'talk' with people who really understood what I was going through.

     

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • HopefulHalley10HopefulHalley10
    I'm so sorry :( That must be so frustrating. I think it's difficult when most people don't understand what's really involved in an adoption and why things are important.  **** hugs*****
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"