Community› The Bump Message Boards› Adoption
Adoption
New Discussion

Clueless! Advice on how to educate myself

bcnoellebcnoelle member
in Adoption
Hello ladies! Congrats and well wishes on your adoption journeys. DH and I have a 6 month old biological son and we would love to add to our family through adoption in the future. Ideally we would love to adopt in 2-3 years, but want to start educating ourselves on the steps. I am unsure if we would try for a domestic or international adoption. Also a little clueless as to the communication options between birth and adoptive parents. DH's aunt and uncle adopted two beautiful girls through China, but they tell us it took them years and about $60,000 in total costs for each adoption. Also curious regarding families that have biological and adoptive children growing up together. Any books that touch on this subject?Thank you for any resources you can advise us looking into. I hope that none of my questions seem too juvenile. We realize that we need to learn more about the adoption process.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Clueless! Advice on how to educate myself

  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    Cost is going to rely on the agency you go with. My agency it is $16,500 for domestic infant and an escrow of $3,000 dollars in birth mother expenses. International would run $25,000 and travel expenses. The best thing to do is to find an agency you would like to work with and attend their informational meeting.
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt17cf53.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • kellzkellz
    We adopted a baby girl one year ago.  Ours was a domestic adoption and our agency offered several options for birthparents and adoptive families as far has how "open" the adoption would be- open (e-mail and contact with birth parents), semi-open (contact through the agency between birthparents and adoptive families), and closed (no contact).  Our agency was on a case by case basis and required 12% of our annual income (AFTER we were placed with a birthmother). We were comfortable with an open adoption, as it turned out the birthmother was not, but we actually ended up entering into a semi-open adoption and it has been great to write letters, send pictures, and even have a few visits.  I know a TON of great childrens books on adoption but as far as books for US, we really didn't read any.  Our agency gave us one called "Dear Birthmother" (Silber and Speedlin) and it was a good read, gave examples of things a birthmother would feel/need as well as adoptive families.  I don't have much info about international adoptions or adopting a child with a biological child, but basically, all agencies are different, so I suggest really researching on the web (most agencies have a good website) and getting in  direct contact with a few and seeing what their specific qualifications are.  Also know it will probably take 2 or 3 years once you have created your profile, completed the homestudy, etc for a baby to come along IF you are doing domestic adoption as we did.  Sorry this is really long, there is just SO much information out there to tell.  Good luck : )
    Look for me on Facebook! (reply and I'll tell you who to look for!) imageimage Began meds 9/6/07. Donor ER date 10/2/07. ET date 10/8/07!!! Beta 10/19=BFN Began meds for FET 11/21 FET 12/21! Beta 1/2/08- BFN It took exactly two years of adoption waiting, after two years of IF struggles. Our baby is here! imageLilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Second Birthday tickers http://myifertilityblog.blogspot.com - new post! image
    Report Reply
  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    I would start with the FAQs at the top of the board. They have resources to help you explore different types of adoption so you can figure out what type is right for your family. And for specifics, you can always ask the ladies here :)

    Communication options between adoptive and birth families can vary from completely closed (more typical in international adoptions, esp China) to completely open, and everything in between. The majority of domestic adoptions are open, but even there the range varies, from semi-open (exchange of information and update letters/pictures) to completely open (regular visits among the families with full sharing of information). We send annual updates to our daughter's birthfamily, have a blog just for her, and we see her twice a year. Our agency asked us our comfort level going into it, and part of the matching process is based on how similar the openness levels are between families.

    I'm not as familiar with international adoption, but from what I've seen there are a limited # of countries that do adoptions to the US, there are country-specific requirements you'll need to be aware of, and cost and wait times can vary greatly.

    What you may want to do is get an idea of which you may want to pursue: if you're still open to both, attend some informational seminars to get an idea of what the agency is like and what guidance they can give you, etc.

    GL and keep asking questions!

    Report Reply
  • bcnoellebcnoelle member
    Thanks to all so far! I didn't even see the FAQs, so that will help me along.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"