D.C. Area Babies

One of the strangest conversations I've had in a while

I was walking by a male co-worker's office and he stopped me and said, "Hey, I wanted to ask you something. Can you recommend a good breast pump?" I was kind of Indifferent and Hmm. He said his wife is pregnant and overwhelmed by the options, and he thought I had been pumping and might be able to give a recommendation.

I think this is the first time a male has proactively mentioned pumping to me. Most men seem to be completely freaked out by it.

Do you think it's odd to ask a co-worker (with whom you're not particularly close) about this?

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Re: One of the strangest conversations I've had in a while

  • Odd but maybe he's grasping at straws trying to come up with some answers for his stressed out wife?  If he doesn't happen to know many newish moms, maybe that pushed him to start awkward conversations?
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  • imageQueSrah:
    Odd but maybe he's grasping at straws trying to come up with some answers for his stressed out wife?  If he doesn't happen to know many newish moms, maybe that pushed him to start awkward conversations?

    I agree with this. I think you should tell him that his wife needs a message board. LOL. This is where I get all of my answers so I don't have to get my husband to seek out the answers from random co-workers (although this wouldn't apply to my husband since he works from home). But you get the idea.

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  • LOL. I talk about pumping with a male co-worker all the time, but we sit right across from each other and we are good friends.  We only started talking about it after his DD was born in April.  His wife is exclusively pumping and struggled with BFing in the beginning so he always had questions....and I guess no one else to ask but me.  We tend to only stick to questions/issues she is having, but I've tried to be as open as possible with out being TMI.  It was awkward in the beginning, but now I think it's actually cool he's so interested (not necessiraly in my habits, but my oppinions). 

    My direct program manager also used to talk about it with me (only in a supportive of way - making sure I take pumping breaks when needed during meetings, etc.) because his wife had their first baby right after DD1 was born and she pumped at work too (we all work for the same co).

    While it can be awkward, I figure the more guys ask and want to know, the better it is for pumping moms in the work place.  But there are definitely some men in my office that would freak me the eff out if they asked me about it (mainly older men whose kids are older or who don't have kids). 

  • My dentist asked me about pumping while she was cleaning my teeth! Granted, she's a woman and a medical professional but it was so weird. She doesn't have kids and evidently one of her staff was pumping and no one at the office had any experience or any idea how long it took or how frequently you did it or anything. So she asked me while I was in the chair!
  • Oh, I did give him a recommendation (Medela PISA, which is what I used). He wrote it down.

    Maybe I should bring in my copy of Baby Bargains for him.

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  • imageWinesNot Whines:

    Oh, I did give him a recommendation (Medela PISA, which is what I used). He wrote it down.

    Maybe I should bring in my copy of Baby Bargains for him.

    That would probably be an excellent idea, as long as you're prepared to open the door for future random baby conversations :)

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  • imageMrsPhilDunphy:
    My dentist asked me about pumping while she was cleaning my teeth! Granted, she's a woman and a medical professional but it was so weird. She doesn't have kids and evidently one of her staff was pumping and no one at the office had any experience or any idea how long it took or how frequently you did it or anything. So she asked me while I was in the chair!

    this cracks me up.  I hate dentist chair conversation to begin with...!

    WnW - I don't think it's *that* weird to ask.  He probably just sees you as a sane new mom, who may have good advice.

  • I'm probably the odd one out here, but I dont think it's weird, I think it's nice he's trying to help out his wife.  And if he knew you were breastfeeding then who better to ask then someone who just did it for a year, right?  Maybe she doesnt have any female friends who are moms, etc.  Most the men I work with know I'm breastfeeding, we're a small group, not necessarily close, but small, so info is shared, plus they need to know why there's a do not disturb sign on the door of the room I use as that is a new decoration for them.  
  • I don't think it's so weird, so many men are very involved in their wives' pregnancies nowadays, I think it's a good sign of the kind of Dad he'll be.

     

  • I guess it just depends on the type of guy. I've worked with guys where this kind of conversation wouldn't surprise me at all. 

    However, if my husband came home and told me that he decided to ask a woman in his office about her breast pump--something she puts on her boobs to make milk--I would know that he either hit his head really hard or has been a victim of alien body snatchers.

    It's not that he's not totally comfortable with talking about such things with me, I just know that he's way too formal/proper to even think about asking something like that. Even though it's a totally innocent question, his line of thinking would be that pumps have to do with boobs and you're not suppose to talk about boobs at the office or you might get sued, lol.

  • I think once you're a parent everything kind of goes out the window . . . there's a guy in our office who has a four-month-old, and he's told me all about how his wife is exclusively pumping because her nipples got so wrecked and she had mastitis a bunch of times. He knows I want to have a home birth next time, and we chatted about placental encapsulation . . .

    I think I'd just be impressed he's being proactive and supportive. What did you recommend to him? I've been hearing good things lately about the Hygeia Enjoye pump--if I didn't already have one I think I would try that next time.

     

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  • I would probably feel completely uncomfortable, especially if we didn't know each other well, but good for him.  I am a big proponent of having those types of awkward conversations in hopes that one day no one (male or female) think it is off-putting or taboo to bf/pump anymore. 

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  • I don't think it's awkward.  Well, I wouldn't feel awkward by it.  Two of the docs I worked with were aware that I was nursing (as I received medical advice from one about something unrelated once and it came up) or I'd be missing from the unit and the other nurses covered for me saying "she's off the unit" and they understood.

    I think it helps promote breastfeeding if people can just talk about it with each other and not be weirded out by it.  I probably talked about it too much (to others' standards) at work while I was nursing, but I wasn't going to be ashamed of something I believe in. 

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  • Nah, not odd.  There seems to be a parenting club that you unknowingly join after having kids.  A guy at work launched into how his kid was having poopsplosions after I returned to work.  And it was totally random.  As long as he isn't skeevy, just assume that you are the only woman he knows (or the most approachable) that had success pumping.
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