Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
CaniacMom
member
Re: Then & Now
My Blog
Ooooo!!! OOOOOO! Pick me pick me! L is 14, so I'm going by what was the norm for his then.
All of yours, and:
Ultrasounds
Then: If you weren't in a high risk group, no ultrasound for you! You got to wait until the big day for the gender reveal.
Now: Aside from the 2+ that seems to be the norm, you can actually go to a non-medical ultrasound, and have a gander at baby and the bits, all in 4-D.
Car Seats:
Then: Car seats had been around for quite a while, but the infant car seat (stupidly nicknamed the bucket, wtf) was just starting to come on the market. Good in theory, not so good in practice. There were a lot of latch plate failures from hard stops over 60kph (35mph?) and car seats ejecting. And handle failures and injuries. So, for years we avoided these and just used a convertible. For a very long time.
Now: North Americans are finally catching up to Europeans (esp. Sweden) in car seat safety. People rear face longer (yay for that, spinal cord injuries suck). They also keep kids in seats longer (well, more people than 14 years ago) . And the car seats themselves are a million times better. DH had L's original seat as an example for what not to use, demoed at the car seat clinics (it was a 3 pt shield style).
Strollers: Way more options. As in, make your head spin. I still despise travel systems.
Um, clothing your kids seems to be a competition between parents now, not so much then. At least in the 0 -5 category, I mean. Apparently now it's all about what label baby is wearing. 'Cause spending $40 on a Zara tshirt for a baby that will outgrow it in a month is smart.
I'll try thinking of more, my brain has been sucked out of my by work!!
Oh, man, just thought of something.....the shear number of baby products on the market even in the last 5 years. I have this
reaction on the Gear board when some FTM or younger moms list off what they think is an absolute necessity can't live without item. Bumbo is not a necessity, and neither is a monitor (medical needs excluded), and the same with the infant seat. WTF did they think we did 14 years ago? Oh, but it's hard to go out shopping/dinner/etc without the seat....
Whatever. They're probably also letting them nap in the seat, going for walks (with the car seat on the stroller, I don't get that), and spend hours in some sort of device (swing, bouncy seat, rnp, etc.) and are shocked when they get their plagiocephaly diagnosis.
K, rant over, off my soapbox now.
TV shows: I am just going to do a then from my childhood to now. We just had sesame street, Mr. Rogers, and Capt. Kangaroo as appropriate TV.
Now, Kids can watch HOURS on public TV. I admit, I am a TV addict. But when I see DD and DS get mesmerized by the TV, I get upset, as I don't want them to turn out like me, couch potato. Since it has been such a great summer and super warm fall, I am on the push to get outside and play while the sun is shining.
Thanks for joining in everyone....It does not seem like so much could change in 14 years but it did. I look forward to hearing some more thens & nows.
My boys are 6 years apart.
Then: burp cloths were a must.
Now: Just use a towel unless someone gives you some as a gift. You don't need so many, either.
Then: parents were allowed in the nursery.
Now: Parents had to call the nurse to deliver the baby to the room. (I think there was an rsv or flu risk when lo was born.)
My first and last are 20 years apart.
Then: Enema and shaved before delivery
Now: Full of it and hairy at delivery
ROFLPMP...yeah, I forgot about that one. They were somewhere in between when I had L, and I looked at my dr and told him if he shaved me, cut me (episiotomy), or did anything else like that, I'd kill him. Fortunately, he was not into unnecessary interventions. Which wasn't common 14 years ago.
This is more like from my own birth to me, but my parents have told me that when my mom gave birth to me, she was in so much pain they actually KNOCKED HER OUT. She was unconscious when she gave birth to me! No clue why an epi wasn't an option.
Also, her doctor at the time convinced her that breastfeeding was unnecessary and gave her some sort of shot that dried up her milk. I think it was permanent because she did not BF me or my 2 younger sisters.
Oh - and I distinctly recall sitting in between my parents in the front seat when I was a youngster - definitely too young to be outside a safety seat by today's standards.
This was 1971, FYI.