A Little annoyed....

WifeyMommy2011 · October 2011

So I have a cousin having her 5th child in 8 years this dec. Everytime she has a baby she gets rid of all her baby stuff after and swears up and down that they are done. Well she has had a shower for every pregnancy, and is planning her own for this one. I live 18+ hours away from her and don't really talk to her to often, well today my aunt called me to tell me what to get her for her shower(that I might add I never even got an invite too or even knew about). I have no issue getting baby gifts but I've put alot of money into all the showers the last few years, she wouldnt have an issue if she would keep her baby stuff or actually being an adult and buying her own baby stuff! I mean she has seriously regisitered for brand new everything for each baby (even big stuff), and expects everyone to get this stuff for her. Not to mention this is my first child and had my shower and never recieved a gift from her(which I don't really care about one way or another) but she is expecting me to get her one???? Please tell me i'm not over reacting to being a little offended by this.

beedawn · October 2011

I would not buy her anything if I were you! After 5 kids she should have everything she needs, and if not she needs to buy it herself like you said.

Mama2Be11911 · October 2011

What a situation! I would say unless she reciprocates with a gift, you are not obligated at all to send one. I wouldn't feel bad about it either...this sounds greedy and a bit selfish for having five children!

weddingbells2010 · October 2011

Absolutely not. I would send her a card- empty, of course- to congratulate her on the newest arrival after her baby arrives. Nothing more.

littlev · October 2011

I don't think you're over-reacting, and I think your cousin's behavior is strange. I'm sure you're not the only one annoyed that she has had 5 showers and keeps getting rid of her stuff. You didn't get an invite to the shower so that's reason enough to not buy her a gift.

Sept1799 · October 2011

I would be kind of pissed after the 2nd one........I wouldn't buy anything

Qmommy · October 2011

I wouldn't be offended but I wouldn't go out and buy her anything either. I would take the "this is comical" approach and move on. Doesn't sound like you're close so it's not like it's going to hurt your relationship.

jburdet1 · October 2011

This makes for a very awkward situation since your aunt is pressuring you and assuming that you will get your cousin a gift. I would simply tell my aunt that I was glad to hear that cousin was expecting yet again and that you don't plan on attending her shower seeing you didn't receive an invite. However, I would assure aunt that you plan on acknowledging the LO's arrival after birth then I would send a nice empty card as suggested by PP.

CalinsBride · October 2011

I wouldn't buy her anything. She sounds entitled and ridiculous.

emma&katiesmom · October 2011

CalinsBride:
I wouldn't buy her anything. She sounds entitled and ridiculous.

I agree!

limeallure · October 2011

I think after 5 children she would have every baby item known to man. I would just send her a congrats card and maybe something simple like a little blanket or stuffed animal that the child would like.

Snorkel30 · October 2011

Umm, that's crazy! I would not get her anything!! Don't do it. It's not your responsibility to keep getting her baby things when she gets rid of stuff after she has each kid. On top of it, how dare your aunt call you to tell you what to get her??? that's nuts. I wouldn't get her anything, especially since you have gotten her stuff in the past, and this is your first baby and she didn't even bother getting you anything.

You're taking it well. I honestly would have told me aunt that there's no way in hell I'm getting her anything, considering she had everything that she could have used and on top of it she never got you a thing for your baby.

amandalup · October 2011

I wouldn't buy anything... I really can't believe the Aunt either. I would tell her if you had gotten an invite then you would know where she registered. Even though you would obviously not go because of the 18 plus hour difference they should have sent you a invite if they expected some sort of gift! I knew a lot of people wouldn't come to mine because my HB and I are military and all of our family is spread out but it is still the polite thing to do but we never expected anything from anyone or had someone call and tell them what to get. Especially since you have already spent time and money on her other showers and with your first she didn't even bother to get you a card. Thats why we registered for all gender neutral stuff so we could use it over and over again. Honestly I would tell the aunt you have spent enough in the past and are expecting your own now which you have to spend your time and money on! Sorry I know a little dramatic but I had a similar situation and it just got ugly because I let the person walk on me

Amanda Harvey · October 2011

How rude ! I would not get her a gift at all. She is only entitled 1 shower maybe 2 cause she has 5. but 5 babies 5 showers noooooo way. I would send her a card at most.

HazelBee22 · October 2011

Wow. As astounded as I am by her having 5 showers I am even more floored by the aunt telling you what to get her! It is a gift, not an obligation.

I would send a lovely card after you hear that her new LO has been born. A shower gift for a shower you weren't invited to? No.

erinemcg · October 2011

5 showers!!!

Who keeps hosting these showers? Does the hostess realize that this is really going against pretty much all shower etiquette?

I wouldn't get her anything at all and in all honesty I WOULD be annoyed that she didn't get me anything and then expected something in return.

I know that this isn't in the spirit of the shower but I have a cousin who didn't have a shower as she lives in a different country but sent nasty emails to anyone who didn't send her anything. For those that did send her something (myself and my sister), we didn't get a thank you and then she didn't send anything for my shower. Whatever, I'm done with her and her self centered butt.

triciachartier · October 2011

First off, she shouldn't even be having a shower! Second, I wouldn't go and I sure as heck wouldn't be getting her a gift. You have every right to feel the way you do.

JenMike4 · October 2011

littlev:
I don't think you're over-reacting, and I think your cousin's behavior is strange. I'm sure you're not the only one annoyed that she has had 5 showers and keeps getting rid of her stuff. You didn't get an invite to the shower so that's reason enough to not buy her a gift.

This....... I would be annoyed after the second shower too. I could see having one if the kids were 5+ years apart but even still........

AngelaNewman · October 2011

Is it really that weird to have a shower for every kid? Or some breach of etiquette?

Granted - the aunt calling and telling her what to get for the cousin was a definite faux pas, but it never occurred to me that having a shower for each subsequent child was out of the ordinary.

I wonder if the aunt called family and friends and was like, "well, she's pregnant again - when are you throwing the shower?" since she was so direct about the expected gift.

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