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Toddlers: 24 Months+
Getting a 3yr old to STOP crying?
My 3 year old cries over the STUPIDEST things (think less catastrophic than spilt milk) and then will not stop. Nothing I do can get her to stop. I've tried ignoring, she gets so worked up she pukes, awesome right?! I've tried consequences, makes her howl louder. I've tried bribery as a last resort, its a 50/50 effective tool, but I don't like to use rewards for bad behavior. So what do you do?? I can't handle listening to anymore pointless crying.
I have a 6week old and my husband and I gather that the 3 year old sees that the baby gets instant response by mom or dad when crying. So she figures: hey, I'll get mom and dad's attention/snuggles/kisses if I have a crying meltdown too. Does this make sense? Would you give her MORE snuggles because of this adjustment period or is that too rewarding the bad behavior? My trouble with this is I'm breastfeeding (endlessly since we are in a growth spurt) and baby is always "in the way" of snuggling 3year old. By the time Daddy is home from work she has forgotten that mommy even exists, because "yay, daddy!!"
Thanks for any advice I'm desperate.
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Re: Getting a 3yr old to STOP crying?
When my DD has a meltdown, I try to pull her aside and talk to her about it. I ask her why she is so upset, tell her, "Mommy is very sorry she is so sad" and I ask her if there is anything I can do for her. This lets her know that I acknowledge her grief without her needing to keep on throwing a fit, and it encourages her to think of a way that things could be fixed. Maybe if I ask her to think of a solution, then she will be better suited to deal with issues on her own when they arise. Personally I don't think that giving negative consequences to this kind of behavior is helpful at all, and I think with bribery you are asking for bigger issues (like trying to take her to the store and NOT buying her a toy). I hope that helps!
I pull out my phone and video tape it and then show him what he sounds like.
Make sure you are spending some one on one time with her. This weekend try taking her on a errand or hit the park for a bit. She might just need that little bit of extra attention.
My DD cries for every little thing and I agree with the PP about trying to talk her through it. I usually stop what I'm doing and try to get her to to explain whats going on...since she's still wailing I just tell her "What? I can't understand you, can you say it without crying so I can help you?" Once she calms down, the extra snuggles come in.
GL!
DS will cry about something that upset him and then it turns into him crying about everything...he does get carried away. When he first starts, I console him and try to get him to talk instead of crying. I usually ask him to stop crying because I can't understand him. It usually works, then he'll stop. If he keeps going, I tell him it's ok to be sad, but he needs to go cry in his room and he can come out when he's done. That usually works too. Then we talk about things.
By writing it out (what I do), it sounds kinda harsh, but it's really not...I try not to scold him or make him feel bad for what he's upset about, I just try to get him to talk about it instead of crying. It's when he gets over dramatic I send him to his room, cause I can't take anymore crying!