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Allllright ladies, I need some advice. =/
I am SO overwhlemed and mind-boggled!!!
My daughter's father left us about 6 months ago. For a while, I wanted him to come back and I would call him to see DD because I wanted him to be in her life. But after a while I just got fed up and stopped making the effort for him. He has seen her 9 (maybe.) times in the time of 6 months he's been gone. He spends every second he can with his new gf who is all of 17 years old. We were even in the same football stadium (he saw me and DD) and didn't even approach us. His family doesn't even call me to see her or ask about her.
He saw her last night for the first time in over a month. He asked to see her once before and i didn't hear from him all day until I called to ask where the heck he was and he told me he was in Kansas City with his gf, so he ditched.
Here's where it gets good...
Tonight, he decides to tell me... he's filing for joint custody of DD. ....I'm so mad. SO MAD. I've been doing this on my own for 6 months, without ANY sort of help from him and he has the audacity to tell me he is filing for custody of my child, who has no idea who he is???
I just don't know what to do. I don't feel like he deserves any sort of custody when he has made zero effort to see her and zero effort to help out financially. She has no idea who he is. He lives in a camper in his parents front yard, (& they live in a sh!tty trailer. Now, i'm not down talking mobile homes because my parents live in one... theirs is just so unhealthy to live in.) he doesn't have a vehicle with working seatbelts (meaning a carseat would be unsafe in his car), he is a total pot head now, he is getting laid off on Sunday. He is just such an unfit parent, and I feel like he is only doing this becasue this is the only button he knows he can push. I'm totally fine with him seeing her, but not overnight and while i'm there/around.
Should I file for full physical custody before he does??? Will I have any sort of advantage by doing so? ANY advice is appreciated.
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Re: Allllright ladies, I need some advice. =/
While I understand that this upsets you, take a step back and look at the situation. How likely is he to get custody? Seriously. No job, lives in a trailer in his parents' front yard, can't transport the child. Since he is obviously lacking in the ambition department, I wouldn't take his declaration as worth the breath it took to utter it. The probability that he will go and get a job, get a lawyer and mount a credible case before a family law judge is slim. I wouldn't lose sleep over it.
Just start documenting his stupidity: if you see drugs in his presence (in his truck, sparking up), just take pictures. Write down as they happen (in a physical calendar or diary) every visit and interaction he has with your child. Keep track of his texts and emails. Stay calm and focused and don't get spun up.
My guess is he's full of BS and is telling you all of this to get you all riled up -- and it worked.
Let him file for joint custody -- then you file back, objecting or whatever. Not sure how it works since mine was a divorce situation. My best advice -- have a consultation with a lawyer. Even if you can't afford one, seek out legal aid in your area.
As pp mentioned, document EVERYTHING. You'll be fine.