another thing that bothers me

Re: another thing that bothers me

• cmcmillan

  September 2011

  I guess I don't really see how they spend their money is your issue?  My inlaws have only met my kids when we paid for my mil to fly out here twice. They don't send them anything, including b.day/xmas gifts, but that is their choice not mine.

  I am sorry they didn't make the decision to come out for his b.day.

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• LauraLynneC member

  September 2011

  You're going to have to learn to let it go.  It's their loss - and I know it's frustrating that your child loses out on a set of grandparents but ultimately are they people you want ingrained in your life - setting examples for your children? 

  You can't change people - only your reaction to them.  Just let everything they're doing slide.  Your life will be better for it. 

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• ckmommy member

  September 2011

  LauraLynneC:

  You're going to have to learn to let it go.  It's their loss - and I know it's frustrating that your child loses out on a set of grandparents but ultimately are they people you want ingrained in your life - setting examples for your children? 

  You can't change people - only your reaction to them.  Just let everything they're doing slide.  Your life will be better for it. 

  This! Also, from a person who is a member of an extremely complicated family (really, I could write a book that people would think was fiction) you have to just focus on your family, and not so much on what other members do or do not do. I understand being frustrated with the decisions they are making, but why waste so much energy on it?

  

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• ckmommy member

  September 2011

  Bump burp

  

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• kaskade

  September 2011

  I'm sorry too that you're dealing with this, but the others gave great advice.  It's just stressing you out and causing you pain, so you'll have to move on.  You need to take care of yourself and your family and try to ignore their decisions.  Nothing good could ever come of confronting them on financial decisions...trust me, I've tried that route with family and lost.

  J + J = K Photo by J. Shelton Photography

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• RobynK member

  September 2011

  I'm sorry your parents aren't being the type of Grandparents you want them to be.  But you're going to have to let go and realize they might not do things the way you want them to.  You can't change them, so you need to accept that this is the way it is and they are going to spend money how they want to spend it (not how you want them to spend it).

  

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• WatchPot

  September 2011

  My mother refuses to come to any of DS's futher birthdays  because she doesn't like MIL so I said, her loss.  I won't choose, they are both invited and they can both come or not come. 

  Her reason for not liking MIL: (in addition to year of jealousy) At DS's first birthday my mom gave him a snow suit: like a 1 piece snow suit for his birthday.  MIL said, "probably won't get much use out of that out here, will you".  Sure she shouldn't have said it in front of them, but it's not like she said it's the worst gift ever, just an honest comment.  And what 1 year old wants to play with a snow suit. 

  Your parents might be sorry some day they are making the decisions they are but the other girls are right: You can't change them so moving on is probably the only option.

  BIG Brother born 10/19/07 little Brother born 1/31/12

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• jrsmama2010 member

  September 2011

  cmcmillan:

  I guess I don't really see how they spend their money is your issue?  My inlaws have only met my kids when we paid for my mil to fly out here twice. They don't send them anything, including b.day/xmas gifts, but that is their choice not mine.

  I am sorry they didn't make the decision to come out for his b.day.

   I guess how they are spending their money is not my issue.  It just bothers me bc every day my mother text me (she won't call)  and complains about their money issues and I just want to explain my view on it.  I guess it just bothers me bc my mother used to be there for me all the time until she got with my SD.   

  Thanks for the advice everyone. You all are right I should just forget it and quit let it eat me up.  She also complains about when I talk about all the stuff that MIL gets DS when they were visiting.  She has only met MIL twice and she won't even give them a chance to like them.

   

  

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• MrsK78

  October 2011

  How they spend their money isn't your business, BUT when it's money that could have been spent on YOUR baby for his birthday, then I think in a way it does become your business because it gets a little more "personal". I understand where you are coming from. I would be pretty upset and hurt too. Especially if my mom wouldn't put up with my MIL for a few hours for my child. And next time she gets upset when you tell her your MIL bought your baby stuff, ask her not to be so hard on them. I know i'd be jealous if I couldn't afford to buy my grandson stuff but his other grandparents could... But it's not your fault your mother chooses to spend her money on other stuff rather then her grandbaby. So just let her know you know she is upset, but are excited the baby got new stuff. I hope everything works out ok for you an your family. I also hope your mom starts coming around! Keep us posted and stay strong! 

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