December 2011 Moms

epidural thoughts

i always assumed that i was going to get an epidural, but i'm starting to wonder if i should consider going without it.  one of my friends who recently gave birth became paralyzed waist down for at least a few days.  she's fine now, but that's still scary.  another friend who also recently gave birth was basically rejected the epidural at the last moment (when she was screaming in pain) because the doctor said that her blood platelet count was too low.  she had no idea that would be an issue so she ended up going "natural".

there are other concerns that i have but i think having 2 good friends have these sorts of complications so late in the game has really made me consider.  of course, the real test will come once i am in pain, but as i plan out my birth, i'm starting to wonder....

for those of you going med-free, how did you come to that decision?

Re: epidural thoughts

  • I'm going to try going med free. When I think about just lying in a bed for who knows how many hours until the baby is born, I feel like I could have an anxiety attack lol I'm going to try walking/labor pool/etc first..

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  • I think those instances are the exception and not the rule. Most people take the epidural well and have no complications.  I'm all for less pain!  I think if you're on the fence about it just try and see how you feel once you are in labor. 
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  • Not everyone has bad experiences with it. I told myself I would make it as long as I could without meds. Got to 6 and said GIVE ME THE EPI! I say just wait until you're having the contracts to know what you'll need.
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  • I didnt' get the epi w/ my first (NOT by choice, just went too fast), but I got it ASAP with my 2nd. My second was the easiest labor/delivery ever, I absolutely want it again this time. I would never want to do the natural thing again. Not enjoyable at all.

    The two situations you mentioned are not the norm. Most people have a great epi w/ minimal complications and want to kiss their anesthesiologist after it sets in. LOL

  • imagekylayton:
    I think those instances are the exception and not the rule. Most people take the epidural well and have no complications.  I'm all for less pain!  I think if you're on the fence about it just try and see how you feel once you are in labor. 

    I've know plenty of people to give birth and they haven't had any complications.

  • FTM here, so I'm basing my decision off research, rather than experience, but I am going to try and go as low intervention as possible for lots of reasons. Here are some of the things that have swayed my decision:

    Epidurals, pitocin, etc can increase the risk of having a c-section, and I'd like to avoid that if I can (and if it's safe for LO). I'd like to be able to get out of bed and move around if I want/feel like I need to -- the idea of being numb from the waist down freaks me out (though I may be singing a different tune when the time gets here). Also, some babies tend to latch better/BF easier initially after unmedicated births. I can think of more reasons, but these are the highlights .On the flip side, if working though the pain is so exhausting that I get too tired to push, or labor stops progressing, I will reconsider. I'm taking a 10 week natural childbirth class and reading lots of books in preparation. 

    Like PPs said, those complications aren't likely to happen to you -- you may get your epi and sail through labor. Do some research, talk to your doc and figure out what is best for you :)

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  • Your second friend did not have a complication from the epidural, but an alert doctor who didn't want her to have a complication. Sounds like a great doctor. I had one with my first, then with my second I had a scheduled c-section. This time I plan to have a med-free delivery, but if the pain is too much, I'd rather be comfortable and rested when I meet my baby rather than feeling like I just finished a marathon, so I am keeping my options open.
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  • As with any medical intervention, there are complications and side effects....just saying. I also know women who have had complications from an epi-from chronic headaches to extrordinary back pain. For every complication story, there are plenty of women who have it and love it.

    Personally, I chose to go without an epi (or any meds) for my first because I didn't want to be constrained to a bed throughout my labor. Although it was fast, I did not have an easy labor, but after my kiddo was born the first thing I said was "that wasn't that bad!" (I kid you not...) mainly because I envisioned a labor and delivery more like the movies-screaming, crying, etc... I plan to go medication free again this time. My suggestion, make a plan as to what you would like to do, and go into labor with an open mind to change that plan. If you do choose to go medication free, maybe look into bradley classes and/or a doula-my doula helped me so much throughout my L&D and lots of "natural" pain relief techniques were her idea.

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  • I plan to have one but I think it is important to realize they sometimes don't work perfectly and for that reason I am paying attention during the coping technique/natural birth part of our birth classes :)

  • First of all, having any complications due to an epidural is the exception...most of the time it is a complete success.

     Also, epidurals do not cause women to need a c-section any more than not having one does.

     

    Lauren...Wife to Jason, mother to Henry (4), Wesley (2), and baby George! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I had one with no problems last time and will be getting it again. 

    Not getting one is great if that is what you are prepared to do but if you think you might want to go with out start researching birthing techniques now.  Blindly going in thinking "I don't think I want one" without some sort of method in mind (Bradley, hypno whatever) may just set you up to fail (not that I think an epi is a failure, but you all know what I mean).

    If I could I'd have my epi now, this sciatic pain is unreal!

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  • imageChelseaP1985:

    FTM here, so I'm basing my decision off research, rather than experience, but I am going to try and go as low intervention as possible for lots of reasons. Here are some of the things that have swayed my decision:

    Epidurals, pitocin, etc can increase the risk of having a c-section, and I'd like to avoid that if I can (and if it's safe for LO). I'd like to be able to get out of bed and move around if I want/feel like I need to -- the idea of being numb from the waist down freaks me out (though I may be singing a different tune when the time gets here). Also, some babies tend to latch better/BF easier initially after unmedicated births. I can think of more reasons, but these are the highlights .On the flip side, if working though the pain is so exhausting that I get too tired to push, or labor stops progressing, I will reconsider. I'm taking a 10 week natural childbirth class and reading lots of books in preparation. 

    Like PPs said, those complications aren't likely to happen to you -- you may get your epi and sail through labor. Do some research, talk to your doc and figure out what is best for you :)

    I would like to know where you got this information... 

    Lauren...Wife to Jason, mother to Henry (4), Wesley (2), and baby George! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I had fully intended to have a natural birth with my daughter, but after 18+ hours of pitocin induced contractions and back labor from hell, I caved and got one. I was grateful for the pain relief, but I hated how I felt with the epi. I hated being numb and not being able to feel my legs, and the epi made me feel really, really cold. In the end, I had a c-section and the epi started to wear off during surgery and I felt way too much. Not a good experience.

    This time I'm going to try for a natural VBAC, but, even though I didn't love the epi, I'm not ruling it out as a possibility.

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  • I strongly feel like this is a personal choice.

    However, for me, I don't see how anyone can say they will or will not have an epidural until the big day comes.

    I'd like to think I can do it without an epidural. However won't feel bad if I cave and get one.

    I'm most concerned with what stage I would cave (if I do). I'd like to labor as much as possible without getting an epidural. I WILL NOT be one of those people that get an epidural at the first signs of labor. I don't like the statistics of how many epidural births lead to c-sections. I don't like the amount of people that end up paralyzed like your friend (scary) and I know a lot of women that ended up being super sick from epidural side effects. In my mind my game plan is to take step by step and try and work through the pain as far as I can without thinking of an epidural. However, if it's too much to manage I'm not going to feel like a failure.

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  • I've decided to go completely natural for a few reasons. I believe it leads to lower c-section rates, lower rates of tearing/episiotomy, and generally better maternal and fetal outcomes. I want to have freedom of movement throughout labor. The risks of the epidural are very rare, but I don't want to chance it. Yes, I realize this may sound paranoid, but I don't really care. Lastly, I have had a bad reaction to anesthetics and narcotics in the past which included hours and hours of uncontrollable projectile vomiting. This is not something I want to experience again. If I happen to throw up during transition, at least that's the shortest stage of labor and I'll be done throwing up once he's delivered.

    It really is a personal decision and you end up with a baby either way so do what feels right for you and your situation. 

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  • imagelala1608:
    imageChelseaP1985:

    FTM here, so I'm basing my decision off research, rather than experience, but I am going to try and go as low intervention as possible for lots of reasons. Here are some of the things that have swayed my decision:

    Epidurals, pitocin, etc can increase the risk of having a c-section, and I'd like to avoid that if I can (and if it's safe for LO). I'd like to be able to get out of bed and move around if I want/feel like I need to -- the idea of being numb from the waist down freaks me out (though I may be singing a different tune when the time gets here). Also, some babies tend to latch better/BF easier initially after unmedicated births. I can think of more reasons, but these are the highlights .On the flip side, if working though the pain is so exhausting that I get too tired to push, or labor stops progressing, I will reconsider. I'm taking a 10 week natural childbirth class and reading lots of books in preparation. 

    Like PPs said, those complications aren't likely to happen to you -- you may get your epi and sail through labor. Do some research, talk to your doc and figure out what is best for you :)

    I would like to know where you got this information... 

    Oh man. I tried to be careful using words such as "can" and "some" as to not make sweeping statements. I didn't say "that epi will directly cause your c-section, and then your baby will never breastfeed," for a reason. I simply stated, per the OP's request, why I would like to attempt a low-intervention birth. An epidural on its own doesn't increase the risk for c-section, but can be part of a snowball effect of interventions that does. RE: breastfeeding, when I said "initially," it's within the first 1-24hrs of birth (depending on the study), and it isn't all babies. I left some of the details out for the sake of brevity -- my post was already too long. 

    As for where my info came from, some of it I learned from text books, lectures, videos, and clinicals during nursing school (it was 4 yrs ago, and I am not an L&D nurse); and some came from Brio Birth: Childbirth Education for 21st Century Parents, First Edition; The Journal of Perinatal Education; books by Ina May Gaskin; and the RN/IBCLC who teaches most of the childbirth education classes at the hospital where I work/will deliver. 

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  • I truely want to go med free. I dont even take tylenol for headaches so Im pretty good at managing my own pain. I had horrible cramps that even prescription pain killers wouldn't get rid of when I was younger & found taking a hot bath was the only thing that helped. So I found a dr & hospital that are willing to let me sit in a hot tub until it's time to push (given i don't need a c-section)

    I plan on not taking drugs for that reason and since I figure they'll tell me no anyway (since I have severe scoliosis & my spine is not like most of yours) so I looked into all the options ahead of time... 

    Everyone I know thinks Im crazy for no drugs but idk. What do you all think? 

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  • I think it is smart for EVERYONE, regardless of their preferences for pain relief or not, to prepare for coping with labor to some extent. The chances of labor not be totally pain free are actually very good.

    Early labor, before you are even progressed enough for one, can be very painful. If you search around (like this thread), you will find a ton of stories where the epidural wasn't necessarily the magical pain-saving gift from God it is made out to be. Sometimes it doesn't work on one side or stops working at some point, sometimes it doesn't work at all and yes, rarely there are even worse complications like paralysis. Not to mention the 1 in 100 chance of epidural headache and possible complications to mom and baby. Wikipedia has a lot of good info with lots of sources cited if you want more info.

    Just like any medical procedure, it has risks and each woman should be aware of them and decide if it's worth it. Many do and have a wonderful experience and there is certainly nothing wrong with not wanting to go through the pain! But I think some go into in expecting the epi to work perfectly and save them from any pain and are caught off guard when it may not go as planned. So make those plans, but be prepared for the worst just in case!

    To OP- If you really decide you will want to avoid the epidural unless medically necessary (sometimes it really is), you really have to commit to it and really prepare to cope. It's not something that you can be open minded about if going drug-free is what you really want. If you aren't sure about it, please just plan to get the epi because chances are, you will want it at some point and it's best not to end up feeling like you "failed/caved".

  • My thoughts on an epidural are YES!  I am for sure getting one.  Good plan for me.  Cool
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  • Many women who "commit" to a natural birth upfront end up laboring for hours with no progress because they can't relax enough to dilate and then when the time comes to push, they are so exhausted from the pain that they can't and end up with a c-section.

    No doctor should give a woman an epi at the first sign of labor...but when given in active labor it can actually helps a woman dilate faster.  I went from a 6 to 10 in one hour after getting an epi with both of my kids.  With my second, I was only numb on one side but it was still very successful.  Yes, you are going to be in some pain no matter what.

    If you want to have a natural birth, great...if you want an epi, great too.  There are advantages and disadvantages to both, and the level of risk involved going either way is about the same. 

    Lauren...Wife to Jason, mother to Henry (4), Wesley (2), and baby George! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • My sister had a baby YESTERDAY :o) and her labor was 3 hours start to finish (from the time her water broke until she delivered) ... so she didnt get one it was going WAY too fast - my niece was a whopping 9 pounds!

     

    My friend delivered two weeks ago - she has had LOW platelets her entire pregnancy and they told her there was NO way she would be getting an epidural ... at the last minute they checked her platelets and they went up JUST ENOUGH for her to get one :o

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  • imageFletcha:


    To OP- If you really decide you will want to avoid the epidural unless medically necessary (sometimes it really is), you really have to commit to it and really prepare to cope. It's not something that you can be open minded about if going drug-free is what you really want. If you aren't sure about it, please just plan to get the epi because chances are, you will want it at some point and it's best not to end up feeling like you "failed/caved".

     

    Yea OP, you better decide beforehand so you don't feel like a failure.  Fletcha, you are unbelievable...not to mention a preachy know it all.

    OP, If you want advice on the risks associated with the epi, talk to your doctor about your concerns.  This decision should not be based in fear (or from what someone tells you to read on wikipedia)...and if you want to play it by ear and see how it goes, then by all means do that.

    Lauren...Wife to Jason, mother to Henry (4), Wesley (2), and baby George! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I loved my epidural!
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  • I see no problem with the mindset of "I'd like to try for natural, but am open to an epidural".  I do not think that means you will automatically get one, I do not think it means you're unprepared, or anything else.  Will certain types of people/personalities automatically "give-in" to the epi if it's on their mind, maybe, but just the same, there ARE people out there who can have the wherewithal to make the decision (or not) in the moment.

    I am one of those people who believes I can try for natural while knowing the epi is an option.  I'll be damned if someone is going to try to tell me that my plan means I will end up with an epi just because I'm keeping that option on the table.

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  • yes, i know that my friends' cases are the exception to the norm and that my chances of having complications are also slim.  i'm also having a doula at my birth who is quite pro-natural, and so we'll see how things go.  i am totally cool with getting the epi, but now i'm just much more open to going natural.  my thinking is that if my mom and every woman in my family since the beginning of time was able to do it, then maybe i can?  we'll see. 
  • imagelala1608:
    imageFletcha:


    To OP- If you really decide you will want to avoid the epidural unless medically necessary (sometimes it really is), you really have to commit to it and really prepare to cope. It's not something that you can be open minded about if going drug-free is what you really want. If you aren't sure about it, please just plan to get the epi because chances are, you will want it at some point and it's best not to end up feeling like you "failed/caved".

    And you are bringing way too much cray cray into an otherwise snarkfree post. Stop looking for a fight...its exhaustng (and immature)

    Yea OP, you better decide beforehand so you don't feel like a failure.  Fletcha, you are unbelievable...not to mention a preachy know it all.

    OP, If you want advice on the risks associated with the epi, talk to your doctor about your concerns.  This decision should not be based in fear (or from what someone tells you to read on wikipedia)...and if you want to play it by ear and see how it goes, then by all means do that.

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  • imagelala1608:
    imageFletcha:


    To OP- If you really decide you will want to avoid the epidural unless medically necessary (sometimes it really is), you really have to commit to it and really prepare to cope. It's not something that you can be open minded about if going drug-free is what you really want. If you aren't sure about it, please just plan to get the epi because chances are, you will want it at some point and it's best not to end up feeling like you "failed/caved".

     

    Yea OP, you better decide beforehand so you don't feel like a failure.  Fletcha, you are unbelievable...not to mention a preachy know it all.

    OP, If you want advice on the risks associated with the epi, talk to your doctor about your concerns.  This decision should not be based in fear (or from what someone tells you to read on wikipedia)...and if you want to play it by ear and see how it goes, then by all means do that.

    Whoops messed my PP up. meant to say"

    And you are bringing way too much cray cray into an otherwise snarkfree post. Stop looking for a fight...its exhaustng (and immature)"

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  • I have had 2 wonderful births with epidurals.  I wouldn't do it without it Smile  Its a fluke thing for those kinda things to actually happen.
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  • imageMrsT2008:

    I see no problem with the mindset of "I'd like to try for natural, but am open to an epidural".  I do not think that means you will automatically get one, I do not think it means you're unprepared, or anything else.  Will certain types of people/personalities automatically "give-in" to the epi if it's on their mind, maybe, but just the same, there ARE people out there who can have the wherewithal to make the decision (or not) in the moment.

    I am one of those people who believes I can try for natural while knowing the epi is an option.  I'll be damned if someone is going to try to tell me that my plan means I will end up with an epi just because I'm keeping that option on the table.

    I'm sorry if my statement about planning to get one or not came off as saying you are setting yourself up for "failure" or being "weak". That was never my intention nor my point.

    However, what I meant was to convey what many women before me who have been there have said over and over. IF you really WANT and it is IMPORTANT to you to go as unmedicated as possible, you really have to be 100% commited. It is one of the hardest things you will ever go through and mental toughness plays a really large part, so being "open" to the epi will most likely determine whether you get one or not. Like I stated before, not at all saying there is anything wrong with choosing it nor do I see anyone getting one as "failing". Hence the quotes.

    I just think it's important for women to know, especially FTM's like myself, that going in "trying to go natural" is great and wonderful, but if you feel strongly about it, it takes more than just trying, but being still being open to pain relief. If you're open to it, then maybe just plan on getting it to avoid feeling like you caved or failed to some extent? That's what I was trying to say...

    I know others may be different, but I know for me personally, I'm kind of a wuss and so going into a normal, uncomplicated labor with the mindset that an epi is there to fall back on when things get painful, I'm probably going to end up doubting my abilities in the midst of laborland and decide to get one, which is ultimately what I don't want. So it's important for me to not view the epi as an option unless there really truly is a medical necessity for one, which I fully trust my midwife to advise on. I can't ever be realistically 100% anti-epi because just like any intervention, it can be necessary and I am fully aware of that. I just don't want to be any more "open" to it than that.

  • imagelala1608:
    imageFletcha:


    To OP- If you really decide you will want to avoid the epidural unless medically necessary (sometimes it really is), you really have to commit to it and really prepare to cope. It's not something that you can be open minded about if going drug-free is what you really want. If you aren't sure about it, please just plan to get the epi because chances are, you will want it at some point and it's best not to end up feeling like you "failed/caved".

    Yea OP, you better decide beforehand so you don't feel like a failure.  Fletcha, you are unbelievable...not to mention a preachy know it all.

    OP, If you want advice on the risks associated with the epi, talk to your doctor about your concerns.  This decision should not be based in fear (or from what someone tells you to read on wikipedia)...and if you want to play it by ear and see how it goes, then by all means do that.

    I'm not quite sure why you insist on interpreting everything I say as so inflammatory/preachy/"unbelievable" but I can assure you that you are missing my point and intentions by about a 3.5 internet miles. But I can't control your reading comprehension, so not even going to respond beyond this. I'm sorry you feel the need to be so offended by anything I say on the subject. Please feel free to ignore me if it affects you to such an extent.

  • imageFletcha:
    imagelala1608:
    imageFletcha:


    To OP- If you really decide you will want to avoid the epidural unless medically necessary (sometimes it really is), you really have to commit to it and really prepare to cope. It's not something that you can be open minded about if going drug-free is what you really want. If you aren't sure about it, please just plan to get the epi because chances are, you will want it at some point and it's best not to end up feeling like you "failed/caved".

    Yea OP, you better decide beforehand so you don't feel like a failure.  Fletcha, you are unbelievable...not to mention a preachy know it all.

    OP, If you want advice on the risks associated with the epi, talk to your doctor about your concerns.  This decision should not be based in fear (or from what someone tells you to read on wikipedia)...and if you want to play it by ear and see how it goes, then by all means do that.

    I'm not quite sure why you insist on interpreting everything I say as so inflammatory/preachy/"unbelievable" but I can assure you that you are missing my point and intentions by about a 3.5 internet miles. But I can't control your reading comprehension, so not even going to respond beyond this. I'm sorry you feel the need to be so offended by anything I say on the subject. Please feel free to ignore me if it affects you to such an extent.

    she's not the only one who thinks you come off that way.

    in your response to my last post, you clarified your points and I think that helped.  It's the way you come off initially - you make no reference to YOUR personal opinions/thoughts or what you think is right for YOU.  All you said was "if you're unsure, just plan on getting one" basically in direct response to the OP.  How else is that supposed to come off?

    AVT - 12.2.11
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    LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches

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  • I suggest doing some research on all birthing possibilities. I don't think labor is an epidural or no epidural plan. Perhaps see if you can talk to your dr. about your feelings/fears of complications with the epidural and also look into other pain coping techniques (even if you do plan on getting it - just in case it doesn't work, you won't feel too overwhelmed, you might have more of a "its okay, I knew this was a possibility"). And the epidural isn't your only medication/pain relief option so if it doesn't work, you could opt for morphine or something similar to take the edge of the contractions and allow you to rest for a bit.

     Now I had a natural birth with my dd and I can rattle off all the pros of natural birth but I have friends who have had the most amazing labor/birth experiences who did have the epidural and they could tell you a whole bunch of amazing pros about the epidural (like they got to sleep! How fvcking cool is that? Sleeping during labor? Yes please :) )

    Also, there is a lot of evidence that getting the epidural closer to transition decreases a lot of the risks that are generally associated with it like slows progression of labor, affects babies temp/heartrate/, etc. So, just remember that complications are rare but doing some of your own research is probably the best way for you to make your decision!

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  • imagehaleymay18:

    I suggest doing some research on all birthing possibilities. I don't think labor is an epidural or no epidural plan. Perhaps see if you can talk to your dr. about your feelings/fears of complications with the epidural and also look into other pain coping techniques (even if you do plan on getting it - just in case it doesn't work, you won't feel too overwhelmed, you might have more of a "its okay, I knew this was a possibility"). And the epidural isn't your only medication/pain relief option so if it doesn't work, you could opt for morphine or something similar to take the edge of the contractions and allow you to rest for a bit.

     Now I had a natural birth with my dd and I can rattle off all the pros of natural birth but I have friends who have had the most amazing labor/birth experiences who did have the epidural and they could tell you a whole bunch of amazing pros about the epidural (like they got to sleep! How fvcking cool is that? Sleeping during labor? Yes please :) )

    Also, there is a lot of evidence that getting the epidural closer to transition decreases a lot of the risks that are generally associated with it like slows progression of labor, affects babies temp/heartrate/, etc. So, just remember that complications are rare but doing some of your own research is probably the best way for you to make your decision!

    All of this.  We should all do our own research and come up with a plan that works for us and our babies.  I don't think there is a right or wrong way to give birth, there are pros and cons to everything. 

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  • imageFletcha:
    imageMrsT2008:

    I see no problem with the mindset of "I'd like to try for natural, but am open to an epidural".  I do not think that means you will automatically get one, I do not think it means you're unprepared, or anything else.  Will certain types of people/personalities automatically "give-in" to the epi if it's on their mind, maybe, but just the same, there ARE people out there who can have the wherewithal to make the decision (or not) in the moment.

    I am one of those people who believes I can try for natural while knowing the epi is an option.  I'll be damned if someone is going to try to tell me that my plan means I will end up with an epi just because I'm keeping that option on the table.

    I'm sorry if my statement about planning to get one or not came off as saying you are setting yourself up for "failure" or being "weak". That was never my intention nor my point.

    However, what I meant was to convey what many women before me who have been there have said over and over. IF you really WANT and it is IMPORTANT to you to go as unmedicated as possible, you really have to be 100% commited. It is one of the hardest things you will ever go through and mental toughness plays a really large part, so being "open" to the epi will most likely determine whether you get one or not. Like I stated before, not at all saying there is anything wrong with choosing it nor do I see anyone getting one as "failing". Hence the quotes.

    I just think it's important for women to know, especially FTM's like myself, that going in "trying to go natural" is great and wonderful, but if you feel strongly about it, it takes more than just trying, but being still being open to pain relief. If you're open to it, then maybe just plan on getting it to avoid feeling like you caved or failed to some extent? That's what I was trying to say...

    I know others may be different, but I know for me personally, I'm kind of a wuss and so going into a normal, uncomplicated labor with the mindset that an epi is there to fall back on when things get painful, I'm probably going to end up doubting my abilities in the midst of laborland and decide to get one, which is ultimately what I don't want. So it's important for me to not view the epi as an option unless there really truly is a medical necessity for one, which I fully trust my midwife to advise on. I can't ever be realistically 100% anti-epi because just like any intervention, it can be necessary and I am fully aware of that. I just don't want to be any more "open" to it than that.

    You do realize that it's your approach that will leave a woman more disappointed if she ends up with an epidural.

    Being open minded does not mean you are setting yourself up for failure, the exact opposite is true. 

    Lauren...Wife to Jason, mother to Henry (4), Wesley (2), and baby George! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagelala1608:
    imageFletcha:
    imageMrsT2008:

    I see no problem with the mindset of "I'd like to try for natural, but am open to an epidural".  I do not think that means you will automatically get one, I do not think it means you're unprepared, or anything else.  Will certain types of people/personalities automatically "give-in" to the epi if it's on their mind, maybe, but just the same, there ARE people out there who can have the wherewithal to make the decision (or not) in the moment.

    I am one of those people who believes I can try for natural while knowing the epi is an option.  I'll be damned if someone is going to try to tell me that my plan means I will end up with an epi just because I'm keeping that option on the table.

    I'm sorry if my statement about planning to get one or not came off as saying you are setting yourself up for "failure" or being "weak". That was never my intention nor my point.

    However, what I meant was to convey what many women before me who have been there have said over and over. IF you really WANT and it is IMPORTANT to you to go as unmedicated as possible, you really have to be 100% commited. It is one of the hardest things you will ever go through and mental toughness plays a really large part, so being "open" to the epi will most likely determine whether you get one or not. Like I stated before, not at all saying there is anything wrong with choosing it nor do I see anyone getting one as "failing". Hence the quotes.

    I just think it's important for women to know, especially FTM's like myself, that going in "trying to go natural" is great and wonderful, but if you feel strongly about it, it takes more than just trying, but being still being open to pain relief. If you're open to it, then maybe just plan on getting it to avoid feeling like you caved or failed to some extent? That's what I was trying to say...

    You do realize that it's your approach that will leave a woman more disappointed if she ends up with an epidural.

    Being open minded does not mean you are setting yourself up for failure, the exact opposite is true. 

    It is this approach that I have heard OVER AND OVER from women who have made it through an unmedicated labor that is the key to how they ended up achieving it. If it's not an easy option in my mind going in, I'm not going to decide to go for it when I hit The Wall and maybe regret not pushing past that point in the end. I have probably read close to a hundred birth stories of all types as well as talked with my mother (5 unmedicated births) and other women close to me. 99% of them agree that they went in considering the epi to NOT be an easy option. The birth stories that mention "trying to go natural" or "go with the flow/open" ended up medicated to some extent (and I will reiterate, I will never consider that a failure or weak for them. That was their story and decision and brings no judgment from me at all). It's just an observation and that's where I'm getting my opinion and mindset from.

    I have decided to listen to those who have been through it in order to hopefully, if things stay un-complicated, achieve my goal. I can't help but pass along my observations and thoughts to others who voice similar goals.

  • I do not want an epidural. As I posted earlier this week, there will be no talk of drugs in that hospital room unless we get to the point of a c-section, which then it will be out of medical necessity. I want the ability to be up and around if I feel like it, I do not like the feeling of not being able to feel or have normal control of my body, and the thought of a needle in my back freaks me out. It's a personal decision for everyone.
    Baby Charchie born 12/22/2011
  • I plan on getting one, because I really, truly feel that will help me have a more pleasant experience IF it goes correctly.  I also know that it doesn't always go well so I am also making sure I know of other coping techniques.  My hospital waits until 4cm before giving the epi.  They also have a fabulous tub to labor in, but also want you to wait until 4cm to get in that because apparently a really relaxing bath can actually slow things down a little also.  Anyway....my goal is to try to make it to 6cm before the epi.  I LOVE baths, and the tub at the hospital is just that awesome.  I am planning on keeping an open mind and being flexible though.
    href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/33e2da" rel="nofollow">Chart


  • wow, i was not offended at all by fletcha's comment.  if anything, i thought it was a little strange that people assumed that i did not know my friends' complications were rare.  i've done my research.  but because it hits so close to home, it just makes me go, hmm.

    honestly, i think i have a 70% chance of getting the epidural, whereas before i was 100%.  

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