Advice on in laws and smoking

powell1202 · October 2011

So LO is due the week after Thanksgiving. We live in PA but we're from MI and plan on heading home for a week between Christmas and New Years. We're splinting time between my family and my DH family. My DH & I are non-smokers and so is all my family. His family however smokes non-stop. We're planning on staying at their home for around 3 days. They smoke in the house, which is less then 1,000 sq ft. We were home last weekend and both noticed that the smoking has increased and the ventilation has decreased. So my questi

So on is, what do we do about bringing a month old into this environment? We don't want to be rude to the IL & we respect that its there home and we're not even sure they'll smoke when we have the LO there. But is this something we should address before we get there or play it by ear. Looking for anyone that may have been in similar situation. Thanks.

Matt Dvorak · October 2011

Personally - I wouldn't stay there. I would find a hotel, or stay with your family the entire time. When we go back home we stay with the ILs the entire time (but still see my family plenty) because they have more room for us and my parents understand.

lreginaw87 · October 2011

I would address it before the trip. Second and third hand smoke can increase the risk of SIDS. My MIL smokes and my DH told her not to smoke when she is around the baby. They only come here to visit and she doest smoke while shes here. We only have been to in in-laws once bc she smokes inside. Maybe ask them to keep their smoking outside or to one area of the house. The room you stay in I would keep the door closed at all times. I am sure it is tough since it is far away and you can't just stop by and getting a hotel room is expensive, a hassle, and maybe offensive.

GL

LienLa · October 2011

My parents are smokers and I told them they aren't to smoke around DS and if we bring him over they need to put on clean clothes so he doesn't stink like smoke. Also my brother and SIL have several cats that pee all over their house. I told them because of the smell and environment of their house LO will not be coming to visit there. Yes it's hard especially with family but you need to think about what's best for your baby. I would definitely address it now so they know your expectations and also the consequences of not listening (we won't be staying as planned/cut the trip short), and request while you're there with baby they smoke outside. It won't kill them for a few days and if it's important to them to see/meet baby they will respect that.

Mereou12 · October 2011

I'd stay in a hotel. No way would I let my children be in a smoky environment for any length of time. Even if they don't smoke when you're there, your precious newborn is still being exposed to 3rd hand smoke.

My ILs are the same way -- their house absolutely reeks. Though they say that they won't smoke when we're there, I still refuse to stay at their house. I really don't give a sh*t if it's rude or not, this is the health of my children we're talking about. They threw a fit and called me snobby....but so be it.

mrsmikeyray · October 2011

I wouldn't stay there. My FIL goes outside to smoke now, and if they know we'll be coming over he does best to keep the smoke out of the house. They have to understand that its whats best for baby though. They have to respect LO's health whether its their house or not. Visit, but stay at a hotel or something.

Peeeyoou · October 2011

My big azz wouldn't stay in that nasty shiznit.

Peeeyoou!!!

julieb00lie · October 2011

There is no way I'd stay there. My father and his wife smoke and when we visit, they smoke outside. But I won't even spend the night there because of the smell alone. This is one of those times when you don't worry about hurting someone's feelings. This is about your child's well being. You should stay in a hotel.

lolinshag · October 2011

OK, as a former smoker let me tell you this: tar from the cigarette smoke gets on EVERYTHING! You can paint your walls white, smoke in there for a while, then wipe the wall down...your rag will be yellow/brown. This residue is not healthy for the baby. To avoid this issue in our cars, my husband and I paid 3 different places to detail it, installed a new headliner, and had the upholstery cleaned as well.

Even if your IL's are not currently smoking in the house while you are visiting, the harmful effects still linger. But if they do light up while you are there consider this: Cigarette smoke contains over 4,000 chemicals, including 43 known cancer-causing (carcinogenic) compounds and 400 other toxins. These include nicotine, tar, and carbon monoxide, as well as formaldehyde, ammonia, hydrogen cyanide, arsenic, and DDT.

Also: My father was a smoker who never smoked around his kids. But two of us still ended up with asthma...hmmmmm.....

eeyore3838 · October 2011

My mom's house is like this as well. I told her we would not even visit her home based on it's current condition. She smokes indoors, the walls are yellow, and no amount of Febreeze does any good since the scent goes through the vents. She lives about 20 miles from my in-laws, and we will always stay with them since they do not smoke.

DiademChi · October 2011

lincolngirl:
Personally - I wouldn't stay there. I would find a hotel, or stay with your family the entire time. When we go back home we stay with the ILs the entire time (but still see my family plenty) because they have more room for us and my parents understand.

This. The increased risk of SIDS, cancer, and asthma are not worth it for your LO (or yourself and your husband). I get a headache and start wheezing just being around second hand smoke (which is full of carcinogens). Once it's in the furniture and walls, you can't stop smelling it.

CurbsideProphet · October 2011

I would not stay there. I would not want to sleep there, let alone subject my child to an environment like that. I would try to meet them outside their home, but I realize this may not be easy/feasible.

angel2288 · October 2011

lincolngirl:
Personally - I wouldn't stay there. I would find a hotel, or stay with your family the entire time. When we go back home we stay with the ILs the entire time (but still see my family plenty) because they have more room for us and my parents understand.

This.

My ILs have over 30 cats, in and outdoors (they also used to smoke heavily and havent cleaned/changed the vents), and me and DH both have a hard time breathing there, so we rarely take DS over. LO wont go over for a while...we visit at BILs house, public place (park, chuck e cheese), or they come over.

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