Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
scrappingcat
member
Re: Moms of kids 4+ years apart
I'll find out in 5 wks! DD will be 4.5 yrs old when her baby sister is born. I'm *hoping* that it'll work out. DD will start preschool when the baby is 2 mos old, and when she's 9 mos old, DD will be starting kindergarten. I hope that this will mean DD is so distracted/excited by the new things happening in her life - and out of the house for several hours a day - that she won't spend as much time being jealous or upset.
I'm also hoping the age gap works in our favor when it comes to toys. They'll be at different stages and not necessarily fighting over the same things. For the baby's sake, it'll mean I can take her to the zoo and spend lots of one-on-one time with her during the day when DD is in school.
For practical/lazy reasons, I'm glad that I've got a big girl who STTN, is potty-trained, gets dressed and does a lot of things independently.
my sister is 5yrs older than me... and my brothers are 8 and 9 years older than me.
I don't have a ton of memories of my brothers as a kid b/c they were off to college when I was about 9yo...
my sister and I didn't get along well - until I was in 8th grade and she had just graduated HS - at that point we were both mature enough to realize that having a sister was a good thing - and since then we have been very close.
i don't think age really matters that much... i know people close in age to their siblings who hate each other... and siblings many years apart who are best friends.
Glad to hear we aren't the only ones trying to make this decision! It just seems like there are so many good AND not-so-great things about the spacing.
For us, it's looking more and more like larger spacing or one and done! I just can't imagine throwing an infant into the mix right now. We love the stage that DS is in and we want to give him that time alone right now!
PROS
DD helps with her brother a lot, and is able to tend to herself/play by herself while I am tending to her brother. One Preschool tuition at a time. DS gets more of my time than he would have gotten if there was less than a 3 year gap, because DD is in preschool FT 2 days a week.
CONS
DD gets frustrated that she has to be the big kid, and that DS takes some of the attention away from her. Naps are harder, since DD has activities she can't miss, and DS sometimes gets woke up from 2-4 naps because of that.
I like this age gap. As for bonding, my kids adore each other right now. The only thing is, DS will always be the little brother ... meaning he will follow her around like a puppy (he already does), and that get get on DD's nerves at times, but she does love him.
As for 'starting over,' yeah, I sometimes feel that way, but in other ways, I feel like I can give DS more of the attention he needs than if they were closer in age.
Since we rarely travel, I can't comment on that, but I have found that DS is much better at car trips than his sister ever was, since he has someone back there to entertain him.
We'll find out soon too! DD is turning four on Monday and her brother is coming after Thanksgiving. We went back and forth for a while about when/if to TTC #2 - it was hard in a way because DD wasn't planned (although she came at a good time for us), so we really had to commit to the decision this time. I pretty much always knew I wanted to space out my kids at least 2.5-3 years, because I couldn't imagine myself as a 2u2 mom and DH and I also happen to have been only children for 3.5 years (my sister is actually only 18 months younger but was adopted when she was 2). But even after that point it was hard to make up our minds.
I like that DD is independent enough now that she's potty trained, can dress herself with minimal help, and can entertain herself for a period of time while I'm doing something else. She is also old enough to understand what's going on and is looking forward to being a big sister. She's in preschool part of the day, so she spends time outside the house, which is good for her and for me. No competition over toys and stuff. No need for a double stroller.
Cons: I have mixed feelings about "starting over." I'm 36, so spacing out kids means not having very many - I think I will be fine with two but for a while I was thinking I might want three or four. I saved most of DD's baby stuff, but I have to think about car seats expiring before DS outgrows them. I feel kind of guilty that DD will have had so much time as an only child with my full time attention and her brother won't - I've been a SAHM but I want to start working within the next year (just finished a professional degree), which will make DS's childhood different, although that isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just raises dilemmas like daycare that I didn't have with DD.
As for the rest, we'll see...but I think we made the right decision to wait as long as we did.
I wish we would've had our boys much closer together. I felt like we finally got to a comfortable place with DS1 and then we decided to have another baby. It was starting all over again, I just wish we would've crammed it all together.
We're currently entertaining the idea of baby #3. I just want them to be able to play together more, and get all of the sleepless nights out of the way.
DD is 4.5 yrs & DS is 5 weeks
PROS: DD is in morning preschool 3 days out of the week, so it is a nice time to take a nap or spend quiet time with DS, or do house cleaning.
DD is independant, it is nice that she can dress, go potty, play by herself.
It is sweet when she wants to hung/kiss him or "play" Barbies with him, or read him a story.
Having a baby again feels easier than the first time. I'm cherishing it more, I think.
I'm hoping once he is older, it will put us more on a routine/schedule.
CONS: She likes to wake him up if he is napping, I still have to figure this one out-she doesn't understand that he needs to nap.
Outtings take longer to get ready for (packing the diaper bag, making sure DD goes potty & has correct clothing/shoes on, loading up in the car, then unloading once you get there, etc)
Shopping is crazy-no more window shopping. You need to have a list of what you need-get in & out otherwise the baby will start crying or the child will throw a tantrum or need to go potty,or run away while you are dealing with a screaming baby lol!, etc. It's better if you can leave one child at home while you shop
Totally feels like we are starting all over again, but I'm hoping once this "baby stage", it will be alot smoother.