Attachment Parenting

Bed sharers- bedtime?

Just curious, what time is "bedtime" for other bed sharers? Do you all go to bed at the same time, or do you/DH go first & the other one joins later?

I'm not really into a "schedule" and nor do I plan to be any time soon- just trying to figure out what works for all 3 of us- but it seems like others put their LO's down for "bed" at 8-9 pm when they're her age, I'm wondering if that's what I should be doing? Obviously I would have to also go to bed at this time, and DH & I are night owls.

Any tips, or should I just keep putting her to bed with us every night (usually closer to 11 or 12)?

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Re: Bed sharers- bedtime?

  • I put D down in bed before us. We have a fortress built up around him so that he won't roll out of bed. It's worked for us until now, but I am starting to transition D to go down in the crib so that we are ready when he crawls (which is around the corner).

    I think that late of a bedtime is unusual... I'm no expert, but you'll need to eventually put her down before you two retire so you'll have to cross that bridge sooner or later. How can you stay up that late on a regular basis? Not judging, just amazed. I stayed up til 10:30 last night, and I was a zombie heading to bed.

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  • imagerachelinouray:

    How can you stay up that late on a regular basis? Not judging, just amazed.

    She's a bit of a night owl too! LOL. Even when we give her a bath around 8 & try to put her to bed then, she will only nap for 1 hour at most before starting to fuss. She fills her belly up at her 10 PM-ish feeding & usually sleeps for about 5 hours, then wakes up to nurse & I can normally get her back to sleep for another 2-3 hours, giving me 7-8. If she doesn't go back to sleep after waking to feed, I'll go on & get up with her & we both take a morning nap.

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  • I went to bed with my daughter for months.  MONTHS.  Honestly, it got me more sleep, which was badly needed, and kept me from staying up late and depriving myself of the sleep I needed to function well.  Yeah, it was less time with DH, but we can spend time together in the future, I can't bank sleep or use sleep credit.  These days, at 17mo, I put her to sleep starting between 7:30 and 8:00 (takes 30-60 minutes) and usually get back up.

    One of the reason most kids have earlier bedtimes (between 6 and 8pm) is because they need a lot of sleep.  Most kids are relatively early risers, say, 7am on average.  So, they're bed time is likely to be closer to 7pm so they can get 12 hours of sleep.  (Give or take an hour or two, depending on the baby.)

    You are just getting out of the phase where bedtimes don't make as much difference and they start developing a rhythm which may (or may not) match your own.  There will be lots of adjustments and changes to the sleep situation (if you follow her cues) over the coming months!

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  • Our daughter goes to sleep around 8:30. I get in bed around 11 or 12. And my husband crawls in some time around 2 am.
  • Bedtime is a pretty strict 7:00, because if she's awake until even 7:15 she gets over-tired and has a really hard time falling asleep.

    She goes to sleep in her crib, and when she wakes up for her first night feeding (around 11-11:30) I bring her into bed. Sometimes I'll nurse her and then go right to sleep myself, and sometimes I'll leave her in bed for half an hour before coming to bed myself. I don't leave pillows or blankets around, she doesn't roll around, and the mattress is on the floor, so she's pretty safe if I need to leave her in there for a little while.

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  • DS set his own bed time of 7:30 at about 4 months. That's just when he gets grumpy and decides he's done with the day. I don't always go to sleep then (although it's certainly not out of the question!), but I'm usually ready to hang out in bed by then, reading, talking to DH, cuddling, etc. This stage is going to go by so fast. :-) 
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  • DH goes to bed first.. I put DD down for bed in her crib around 7 and usually 8-9 DS and I go meet up with DH.. But I have 2u2 and am exhausted by 7pm..
  • I put L in his side-car at 830 and usually go to bed about 930.

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  • Thanks for asking this question- I just posted a related one. I, too, am a nightowl. I'm trying to put LO down so she'll stay asleep if I'm not touching her. Maybe it's early for that :)
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  • imageTiffanyBerry:

     Yeah, it was less time with DH, but we can spend time together in the future,

     I don't agree.  Neglecting time with DH isn't the answer.  That relationship is also very important.  It can't be put on hold for the future.  All relationships require care.

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