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Behavior problem question

lbgriffithlbgriffith member
in Pre-School and Daycare

Hey ladies,

I am on the 3-6 mo. board but I teach PreK and I need some advice from mamas of preschoolers.  I am having some big behavior problems with a little girl in my class being very disobedient.  She frequently screams out in class, is very disruptive, wants to run around the room, plays with her chair at her desk, will NOT go to time out (she falls limp on the floor and will not move), when she does make it to time out, she will not sit/stand there (just walks away), pushes and hits at recess (and other times throughout the day).  That covers most of what is going on.  It is really causing the rest of the kids to act up too.  I have tried everything I can think of: taking away priveleges, taking her out of the classroom and making her sit in the office, principal's office, calling her dad, a behavior chart for her to earn rewards, praise for good behavior, trying to ignore her behavior when she wants attention, etc. but it is getting nowhere.  I wrote a 2 page letter to her parents asking for ANY suggestions for what might help.  I asked if there was anything I could use to motivate her better, as in a different reward that she might like better and I got NO response from the parents.  Do any of you ladies have any advice that might help?? PLEASE!

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Re: Behavior problem question

  • Mrs MannersMrs Manners member
    Honestly, it sounds like you've tried everything. At this point I would discuss it with your director and have them take over. The director needs to schedule a conference with the parents, her and you to discuss. ETA: I noticed you referenced principal so you must work in a school system....I have the same advice, just sub the word principal for director above.
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  • kmhunt11kmhunt11 member
    What a great question.  I just started teaching preschool (3's) and have one of those, too.  I talked to another teacher today and we decided I need to make a positive connection with him.  He needs to be my little buddy and my little helper.  He needs to know I love him.  I think establishing that connection will lead to him listening to me better.  If the parents aren't helping, I'd be even more hesitant to give up on her.  If she is removed from the program, she might not get another option and it sounds like she needs to be in a school setting. You really won't have a choice if you can't make a difference in her behavior- she's dangerous and it isn't fair for all of your time and attention to go to only 1 student.  I noticed that I was constantly redirecting the little boy in my class today and by the afternoon he was unhappy and stressed.  I thought back and the negative/neutral things I said to him outweighed the positive ones by a lot.  My goal Monday is to be super-positive and sweet with him.  GL!
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  • flyingsaucerflyingsaucer member
    Did you say that you have desks and do time out?  Where I live both are "no-no's" for preschool.  Preschoolers are still really young and have such little experience with the world, especially being in a room with so many people competing for attention/toys, etc.  PP had a great idea to make the child "your buddy".  Also, I would not write a note to the parents, but would call them in to sit and meet to discuss a plan.  Just know that any plan that you come up with (behavior mod, positive behavior charts, etc) take time to work.  You should stick to a plan for 4-6 weeks before trying something else or giving up on it.  Finally, talk to your pricipal/director about getting some extra help in the room.  maybe they can pay an assistant a few hours a day to help out and give the child some one on one support
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  • TinyPinkBugTinyPinkBug member
    Have you talk with the parents about getting an evaluation for to possibly see if she would qualify for an IEP?  As a parent of a child with severe behavior issues(he has an autism Dx, but we think it is really a combo of other issues like sensory processing dysfunction, OCD, and anxiety disorder) I can easily see how people can miss these issues and just say it is a bad kid.  It can hurt to get an evaluation.  If anything, I would say it sounds like she is a sensory seeker at the very least.
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  • changingnameschangingnames member
    imageTinyPinkBug:
    Have you talk with the parents about getting an evaluation for to possibly see if she would qualify for an IEP?  As a parent of a child with severe behavior issues(he has an autism Dx, but we think it is really a combo of other issues like sensory processing dysfunction, OCD, and anxiety disorder) I can easily see how people can miss these issues and just say it is a bad kid.  It can hurt to get an evaluation.  If anything, I would say it sounds like she is a sensory seeker at the very least.
    My three year old has an asd, PDD- NOS and I could relate to some of these behaviors as possible sensory seekers or signs of an issue. Of course when you are carrying a hammer everything starts to look like a nail, I don't claim to be able to dx a kid and certainly not off a post. Hat works for my kid is redirection. For instance he was biting us all.the.time. It was like he couldn't stop, if we dodged him he would burst out in tears. I gave m a wood teether that he is allowed to bite and now he chews on that instead of us- he craves the sensory stimulation he gets from chewing on something, it isn't because he is bad and wants to bite us, his books, his clothes, etc. We are addressing it further with his therapist but that is an example of how a behavior that looked like him being bad was reallyjust him trying to get sensory input he needs to feel comfortable. Several of the things you noted could point to a similar issue and getting an veal would just give you guys some helpful ideas of how to manage the behaviors and understand her. Three year olds aren't bad, they are usually just misunderstood IMHO.
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  • changingnameschangingnames member
    Veal=eval
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  • Amy720Amy720

    imagekmhunt11:
    What a great question.  I just started teaching preschool (3's) and have one of those, too.  I talked to another teacher today and we decided I need to make a positive connection with him.  He needs to be my little buddy and my little helper.  He needs to know I love him.  I think establishing that connection will lead to him listening to me better.  If the parents aren't helping, I'd be even more hesitant to give up on her.  If she is removed from the program, she might not get another option and it sounds like she needs to be in a school setting. You really won't have a choice if you can't make a difference in her behavior- she's dangerous and it isn't fair for all of your time and attention to go to only 1 student.  I noticed that I was constantly redirecting the little boy in my class today and by the afternoon he was unhappy and stressed.  I thought back and the negative/neutral things I said to him outweighed the positive ones by a lot.  My goal Monday is to be super-positive and sweet with him.  GL!

     I totally agree with this.  I teach kindergarten and about 2 weeks in got a new student and if he didn't get his way he would lie in the floor and refuse to get up.  He would talk back to me and say I don't have to do what you say.  One day I just let him stay with me during music class and we played leggos and talked the whole 45 minutes.  I also let him help pass out things in the room and he got to do other jobs quite a bit.  It might seem unfair to others but I know he had a rough home life and all he got at home was yelled at.  The sad part about this is that he was only in my classroom 3 1/2 weeks before he moved to another school.  When he left though, he knew what I expected of him and when he didn't do it, he moved his card without throwing a tantrum like he did at the beginning.  When he moved to the other school, they called me because he was having all kinds of problems there.  I told them some of the things we did here and hope that he settled down.  Sounds like you are doing all you can and it may be time to get someone else involved.

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