Sibling's birthdays

ArcticFox · October 2011

My 4.5 year old's bday is in March, and we are going to celebrate her little sister turning 2 this week. I kind of have a feeling DD is going to have a tough time seeing little sister open all those gifts. I have been telling her for quite some time that if she wants a toy, she'll have to wait until Christmas. (I've been meaning to set up a reward chart system, but haven't gotten to it).

Any experience with jealousy or other issues? I have been having DD help me make party favors and stuff like that, so I was thinking of getting her something little as a little "thank you". Have any of you done anything like that?

(Thanks.. I'm on a roll with the questions tonight

brightning · October 2011

Sorry, but at 4.5 she should be perfectly capable of understanding that it's not her birthday. Birthdays are special days for the birthday girl, and your older DD does get to participate by enjoying the party and helping her sister celebrate.

UsedToBeGoldie · October 2011

Griffin lucked out at the twin's birthday party - 2 friends brought a gift for him... one brought him a birthday present (very late - you know he's march... and the twins are june)... because we had not seen them in a long time.

the other gave him one of the cars that goes on the track they got the twins- since the track came with 2 cars- they didn't want him to be without a car - very thoughtful!

and Griffin got a favor box- and felt special getting that.

He knew he'd get to play with the twin's presents- and was very good about letting them open them and get first dibs, etc. It worked out well- no jealousy issues at all. We really prepared him talking about it- reminding him that they will share the toys... but that he has to let them try them out first, etc.

the year the twins turned 1 we let Griffin pick out a present for himself at the Disney store- for being a big brother to TWO babies for one year - we felt he desreved it (we all deserved a present!)... and we happened to be at the mall on their birthday to do a photoshoot with smashcakes- so it was a nice way to make Griffin feel special being a big brother to them.

KathrynMD · October 2011

meh - I wouldn't make it a big deal, but I'd probably buy my older kid a very small present - like a new book/coloring book or a new doll outfit, etc. I always think that's nice when you see the sibling get something too.

Andrewsgal · October 2011

brightning:
Sorry, but at 4.5 she should be perfectly capable of understanding that it's not her birthday. Birthdays are special days for the birthday girl, and your older DD does get to participate by enjoying the party and helping her sister celebrate.

I agree it always kind of throws me off what you post about your 4.5 year old. And to the poster who said buy her a gift you have got to be kidding me.

ArcticFox · October 2011

I haven't gotten her stuff since March, and I was thinking of getting like a craft type item around $5, similar to what is in the goodie bags. Or like a pen she wanted that has a fluffy thing on top. It wasn't going to be a big deal. She's already spent a ton of time helping me put favors together, decorate, and go on shopping trips for party supplies.

Andrewsgal - what else was surprising to you? I agreed with everyone on the hat post.. my DD is super smart and very independent, I have very few issues with her. This is the first time we're celebrating her little sister's birthday (last year we didn't celebrate.. long story), so I can't predict how she'll feel this year, I just thought I'd thank you with something like the pen.

Pesky · October 2011

A little but we try to nip it in the bud. It is DS's special day and DD gets that. She gets to partake in cake and ice cream and I let her pick out what she wants to give DS and she helps me wrap it and draw a card for him. I want to emphasize to her how rewarding giving can be so I say things like "wow! DS sure likes those trucks you picked out, doesn't he? You did a great job finding something he would like!" I also said things like "I wonder what DS will get you when it is YOUR birthday" so she realizes this is a taking turns kind of thing.

KathrynMD · October 2011

Pesky:
A little but we try to nip it in the bud. It is DS's special day and DD gets that. She gets to partake in cake and ice cream and I let her pick out what she wants to give DS and she helps me wrap it and draw a card for him. I want to emphasize to her how rewarding giving can be so I say things like "wow! DS sure likes those trucks you picked out, doesn't he? You did a great job finding something he would like!" I also said things like "I wonder what DS will get you when it is YOUR birthday" so she realizes this is a taking turns kind of thing.

you are a smart mommy!!

jlw2505 · October 2011

I am strong believer in not getting a sibling a gift on someone else's birthday. Kids need to learn that they are not always the center of attention and that on someone else's birthday, that person gets the gifts, etc. I just don't think getting your older DD a gift is the answer to your question and will just set you up for something worse as the kids gets older. If your older child is getting upset while the younger one opens gifts, have someone play with her or give her a job like collecting the wrapping paper but explain over and over that today is the others birthday and that kid gets the gifts and on DD birthday she will get the gifts and the sibling will not. Your child might cry and honestly, that is life. Kids get jealous and it is part of life - they will learn and it will get easier.

angelakh · October 2011

I am in the no gift for sibling camp. I have also been to birthday parties where the LO turning 1 or 2 has their older sibling/s "helping" open the gifts and I think it is annoying. I love watching the LOs open their gifts and when the older ones tear them open quickly it takes the fun away from the birthday boy/girl.

jason&robin · October 2011

DS is going to be 4 on Monday and we just celebrated his bday. DD turned 2 in July. We haven't had any issues with jealousy. DS helped DD open her presents and she helped him too. They all play with them together so after the party, they really are everyone's toys. I talked a lot about what DS wanted to do for his party so he got something to look forward to. I would never get a sibling gift.

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