Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Declawing Cats...
I have had 2 cats declawed and many not.
1 of the ones who was not was an indoor cat and was fine with furnature.
The 2 that were declawed were both indoor cats as well and one of them had litter box problems for YEARS which many people attribute to cats who are declawed.
We always did it at a young age. I wouldn't want to do it to an older pet though I know people who have and thought it was perfectly fine.
I am not really a cat person but IMO, I wouldn't do it because of
1. age
2. potential litter box problems.
Penelope Lynn 5.8.2009
Harrison Peter 4.10.2012
Check out the blog at balletandbaseball.com
my read shelf:
I had my cats declawed when I moved into my first apartment. They were older cats. They had it done the old way, which was to have them cut out. I had just their front paws done. They seemed to do fine when they came home. They didn't appear to be in pain. They slept a lot, more than usual for a cat ha!, that day from the anesthesia. They didn't like having their paws bandaged, but I can't blame them there. I think I felt worse about it than they did. I had to replace their litter with shredded newspaper until their little paws healed. After they healed, they still pawed at the couch and wood trim and they tried to pop the dogs. It didn't appear to phase them at all without their 'talons', but they weren't able to do any damage.
I know it's not an easy decision. But, the process was easier than I thought.
Water bottles work great for stopping behaviors. And, my cats never had litterbox issues afterwards.
I was told similiar stories and the vet even said he wouldn't be comfortablet doing it at her age. With that said our cat has ruined trims and our couches-she's quite older so we're keeping the couches until she peacefully goes to sleep....and will look at buying new furniture then and IF we ever get a a cat again it will be declawed when it's young.
Thanks for your input everyone. It's not a decision I'm taking lightly. I haven't decided either way at this point. Forgot to mention that I have spent countless dollars on tree stands and cat scratching things only to have him completely ignore them and go for my trim/couch. Apparently nothing feels as good as the couch?? Have also tried soft paws more than once. I did exactly what instructions said with trimming nails first, then applying. He has a water fetish, so I'm not sure that would work or not. It's worth a shot though.
Husband and I went couch shopping this weekend, and of course the only one we could agree on was a leather couch...which was not what I was looking for because kitty really torn up my parents leather couch. Am going shopping again tonight, so maybe we'll find something better. I will also talk with my vet - about his age, and the process in general.
I would not declaw the cat due to age. It's an extremely painful procedure. Even if you do laser - EXTREMELY painful. Most vets reccomend this at 6 weeks of age when they come in to be fixed.
I would talk to your vet about how to deal with the furniture. That behavior must be addressed.
I'm a monster, I declaw my cats. I honestly don't like myself for it, but I do it anyway. I cannot justify it in anyway that is reasonable comparable to what they go through, only to say that my cats wouldn't have homes at all if it weren't for me.
I declawed a 3 year old cat. She was fine, she took it better than the kitten did. It took her a good three days with the vet and then another 2-3 at home to get used to it (but I also made the mistake of getting them declawed at the same time we moved into a new home so I brought two scared cats, who had never met each other to the vet, got them declawed and then brought them home to their new shared accommodations - in retrospect this was a terrible idea).
I would not declaw a cat of any age, under any circumstances. I think it is a cruel and horrible procedure (and yeah, sorry but I judge those who do it). I also think it says a lot about our culture when it's so common here and people just wave it off like it's no big deal and it's illegal in so many other countries.
It also amazes me when people do the procedure without even knowing what it is. I find it so disgusting when people who have actually had this done think that they just "cut the nails out", or just removed the nail. That is impossible. They physically remove the first joint of the cat's "fingers". It is equivalent to surgically removing the first joint in your fingers. Now imagined if you walked on your fingers after having that done. Tell me that having a laser cut that joint off would make it any more pleasurable having your bones removed... It is 10 separate amputations. As far as "oh mine were fine from the minute they came home". That's BS. Cats are one of the best, if not the best, animals at hiding pain. They will act perfectly fine up until they're on their death bed.
I personally would rather see someone give away or euthanize a cat before amputating their bones.
https://www.declawing.com/htmls/declawing.htm
I never said that using the laser makes it pleasureable. I simply said that the laser is less painful, and has a quicker recovery time. I have talked with a few vets on this. I have been trying to be very through in my research. I understand the process.
I have not made a decision either way as of yet. That is why I posed the question...to get more information. I understand those who don't do it, as well as I understand those who do. I dont judge either because I think each person must make their own decision. At this point, I am uncertain as to what is best for our situation.
When I say 'our' situation, I mean OUR situation as in mine, hubby, baby, and CAT. I love my kitty, and of course am concerned for his well being. I want to find a compromise that all of us are happy with. I have not amputated anything right now. I am simply RESEARCHING. I really don't understand how I am a cruel person for doing all the research on all the options out there. This is not something I take lightly.
I really don't believe that 'most vets will tell you whatever you want to hear to get your money'. All the vets I've dealt with are vets because they love animals, and are more concerned with animals well being than money. I have a great relationship with my vet, and as I said previously, I am going to discuss this at length with him.
I did not start this thread to start a debate about whether you agree with declawing or not. I started it to try to get real life experiences from people who have declawed their cats on how their cats were affected by it. I appreciates everyone's response, and I don't think anyone should be judged by their responses.
Just an idea on the water bottle....my cats also have a fetish with water. We have to keep the toliet seats down otherwise they are playing in the water all day, so getting sprayed by a water bottle didn't really phase them. So I either put some vinegar or some drops of perfume in the water & then they HATE it because of the smell!! Good luck on your decision, & who knows maybe when you get the new couches you could just be really strict from the start & he might just learn that its absolutely off limits!!
I did it when my cats were 6. I was moving into a new place and one of my kitties had anxiety issues and had dug holes in the carpet down to the subfloor in several places in my apartment. I didn't want to do it but I didn't want her destroying every place I lived. We too tried the soft paws and they were a joke. I did the laser procedure and was very happy with how my kitties did. We have had no litter box issues and the recovery time period was even shorter than I expected. If you decide to do it, please make sure you kitty can never go outside.