Please help with 3yo bedtime and napping!

redfish08 · September 2011

So, it's nearly 10:00 at night, and my 3 yo is still wide awake in his room. Just like every other night, we start his bed time routine around 8 or 8:30. Snack, water, books, cuddle time, and out. And every.single.night it is a struggle to get him to sleep. It is not uncommon for him to be up until 10:30 or 11:00 at night. And, unfortunately, he's not just laying in bed talking to himself. He's out of bed, throwing toys, pulling down books, pulling clothes out of his dresser, etc.

He sleeps until 6:30-7:30 in the morning, regardless of when he goes to bed.

He is also really, really fighting his naps. They only way we can get him to nap is to put him back into a pnp!!! At 3! If not, he plays quietly for a few minutes and then starts throwing tantrums.

Part of me thinks that he may be out-growing the naps, but he is a monster in the afternoons without one.

Any advice? Thoughts? Anything that has worked for you? Sorry, but my DH and I are at our wits end. Our DS2 is asleep by 7:30 at night, and we spent the next three hours getting DS1 down. And once he's down, it's almost time for DS1 to wake up to eat. It's an exhausting situation!

C.squared · September 2011

We're in exactly the same boat and DD's pediatrician suggested cutting out her nap. It may take a while to adjust, but I'm willing to try - I'm SO tired of bedtime struggles. I've asked her school to keep her up if at all possible. Good luck!!!

kmhunt11 · September 2011

Sounds like he's ready to drop the nap for sure. It really sucks because no break for Mommy, but the afternoon monster behavior will get better and he'll likely be very tired by 8. DD could go to be bed 7 every night, but we don't manage it til 8 often because DH wants a little time with her after he gets home from work. With the pulling out clothes, books, and having tantrums, etc you have 2 choices- both of which I've done. First, if he pulls down all his books you can give him a warning and then take his books out of his room until he understands not to do that. DD would get very upset when I took them away, and it was a good lesson that if she doesn't treat her things nicely they won't be available to her. The second option is a tough one- let him do whatever he's going to do in his room. Ignore it (unless it sounds unsafe) and don't give him attention by going in to tell him to stop. He'll sleep when his body needs it, and in the morning when he has to clean up before playing with anything he might get the point that it's not worth it. By spending 3 hours putting to bed, you're letting him have way more control than a 3 year old should have, and he knows it. He knows how frustrating it is, how much attention it gets him, and how it leaves you and DH no time to watch TV or play Parcheesi

Take that control away from him! Good luck with this. Our nap and bedtime battles with DD started when she was 15 months and started base jumping out of her crib. We come in to find every drawer take out of her dresser and emptied with her asleep in the shell of the dresser. She'd pull up the a/c vent from the floor and shove things down it. She ended up with no dresser, no bookshelf, and only a couple stuffed animals in her room. As she got older we gave up the battle and let her play herself to sleep. We tuck her in at 8 and don't go back in for anything unless she needs to go to the bathroom. She knows that yelling and carrying on won't get another hug or tuck-in so she doesn't do it.

penguingrrl · September 2011

We went through that with our first a little before she turned three and the second one is doing it now. IMO when naps start interfering with overnight sleep it's time to cut them. I found that once the kids reached the point that a short nap kept them up until 11-12-1 they would also be an overtired mess the entire next day.

We've been nap free for about a week with #2 and the transition isn't easy, but she's already more cheerful and more rested than she had been for a few weeks before, so I'm pretty sure the no nap thing is working. Keeping her awake is hard, especially with a 15 minute drive each way to pick up her sister from school at 3:30, but we're managing and it's working. Bedtime is smoother than it had been in a long time!

C.squared · September 2011

penguingrrl:
We went through that with our first a little before she turned three and the second one is doing it now. IMO when naps start interfering with overnight sleep it's time to cut them. I found that once the kids reached the point that a short nap kept them up until 11-12-1 they would also be an overtired mess the entire next day.
We've been nap free for about a week with #2 and the transition isn't easy, but she's already more cheerful and more rested than she had been for a few weeks before, so I'm pretty sure the no nap thing is working. Keeping her awake is hard, especially with a 15 minute drive each way to pick up her sister from school at 3:30, but we're managing and it's working. Bedtime is smoother than it had been in a long time!

You give me hope! Glad to hear it's getting better.

CareBear0607 · September 2011

Sounds like it is time to drop the nap. THis was happening with DD right before she turned 3. I started not having her nap and she is sleep 8:00 pm until 7:00 am. Now that she has started school, I do have her nap on school days because she is really tired and that has not messed up her bed time.

PianoPlayingSarah · September 2011

I would drop the nap completely. Around 3 years old, we stopped allowing our girls to nap. If they did, they would be awake until 10:00 at night as well. Even now at 4.5 years old, if they take a 20 minute snooze in the car, they are up later than their normal bedtime.

canhardlywait1 · September 2011

Agree with the PP's - drop the nap. Or else nap but have an earlier cut off time. My 5 yo is a sleeper and he would nap at any time if we left him. He is always great at going to bed too. My 3.4 yo daughter is completely and totally different and has been trying to give up her nap since 2.5. They key for her is if she doesn't nap we have to put her to bed much earlier before she gets overtired. Otherwise she can't settle down is up until 9-10 at night.

pea-kay · September 2011

Mine don't nap for me anymore. (They still nap at school, but not consistently.)

Jinsy80 · September 2011

I would have cut out the nap a long time ago. DD1 stopped napping at 27 months (when we took away her pacifier). She would stay up until midnight every night if we let her though, she's just a night owl.Since she has school on MWF, we have her on an earlier schedule. It's still late for most kids though. GL!

redfish08 · September 2011

Thanks everyone for your responses. Sounds like we need to stop the nap. Wish us luck! Then it will be time to work on sleep training my 4 mo!

JennDave+1 · September 2011

You need to cut out naps. Is he active enough during the day? DS#1 was going to bed at 11. When we cut out naps 7/8pm.

bim38106 · October 2011

I agree w/ PPs, you need to cut out the nap.

DD1 was doing this and we started cutting out her nap. It took almost 6 MONTHS for her to stop being a bear in the late afternoons. I really had to find stuff to do and keep her entertained.

At first, she would nap about every other day. Once she started fighting her nap, then she'd nap later. I couldn't stop her from falling asleep around 6pm while I was cooking dinner. Nothing I could do, believe me I tried!

Finally, just this week, she stopped falling asleep late-evening and stopped napping all-together and has been totally fine and happy all afternoon. She now goes to bed around 8:15 w/out a fight (for a while, it was 11pm fighting the whole time!).

We do quiet play-time during DD2's afternoon nap, so I still get my "me" time in the afternoon. It's working out way better then I thought! I put DD2 down for her nap and DD1 gets to watch a show. After her show, she plays a game on the computer, then goes and plays in the playroom for about an hour.

FLgirlinCA · October 2011

Like many others said, seems like time to stop regular naps. My 4 year old was staying up (about a year ago) until 9 or so, and I knew it was time to start ending the afternoon nap. It was a very gradual process, tho. When I started cutting out the nap, he would go to bed with no fight whatsoever by 7 p.m. (sometimes 6:30). BUT, there were days when he would doze off on the couch around 4:30 after having no nap, which just kind of wrecked the night. So for a while I actually let him take naps 2 - 3 days per week. It just seemed like he needed that little break every now and then. Now he rarely naps, and bedtime is very easy. He is usually asleep between 7:30 and 8 p.m. The key for us, especially in the beginning, is to keep bedtime consistent to avoid letting him get overtired after a long day w/no nap. Good luck!

Please help with 3yo bedtime and napping!

Re: Please help with 3yo bedtime and napping!

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