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Help getting 3yr old DD to poop on potty?!!

thanxbabythanxbaby member
in Pre-School and Daycare

She has only pooped on the potty maybe 5 times, the last time was in June and I am going crazy!  She gets hysterical and the few times she has gone she is crying and so stressed out.  She loves her routine of going in her pull-up at nap or bedtime, every single day.  I have tried no pull-up, and she just goes at nap time in her underwear.  It doesn't phase her a bit and everyday she poops then falls asleep without calling out to be changed.  We tried sticker charts, treats, toys, movies...  She knows she gets to go at naptime since a few months ago she said "I want to take a nap so I can go poo poo".  The pedi said not to push it, but she clearly knows how to go on the potty but that she can wait until naptime.

 What do I do?  Get rid of the nap so she is forced to go on the potty?  She is starting to stay up later so we might not need the nap anymore.  But then I can't even do quiet time in her room for fear that she will go then.

Also, she is in preschool twice a week and is supposed to be potty trained.  The  school is not aware of this because I know she is like clockwork (every day at nap or bedtime), but seriously!?

 Any tips?  Please!!!

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Re: Help getting 3yr old DD to poop on potty?!!

  • AgrippaRidesAgainAgrippaRidesAgain member
    No clue.  DS is still terrified of doing it.  He has pooped on the potty once.  He doesn't have a diaper at quiet/nap time.  He requests one for poop.  I tried pushing it once and he went 5 days without pooping, even when I essentially gave him only fiber AND ultimately used a glycerin suppository.  That kid can HOLD it.
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  • rsd12rsd12 member
    Relax!  She won't go to college in training pants.  Gosh, that is exactly how I felt 2 years ago ; ) I stopped working against him & just let him use his training pant at nap time & at bed time.  We were all so much happier ; ) No rewards or discipline worked at all.  6-9 months later he said he was ready & we have never looked back since.  
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
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  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member
    Ditto PP, I would just relax and not push it too much.  My friend did that with her nervous pooper and then her DD started having issues w/ beign afraid to poop on the potty or in a pull up and ended up getting herself all chafed and irritated and then she didn't want to poop anywhere and it was just overall a giant mess of tears and frustration on everyone's part.  Just relax, he's having some kind of control issue with this, so just let him have it for now.
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  • BrewtowngrlBrewtowngrl member

    let her know that it is ok to poop in her pull up, but ask her to poop in her pull up in the bathroom so at least she is doing it in the right room.  I would guess that she wants the privacy when she does it. That is why she does it at nap and bedtime.  One day DS said he had to poop and sat on the potty.  I was too busy with DS2 and left him alone. He finally did it and has used the potty ever since.  I used to sit in there with him.  It was a production.  He wouldn't poop and then 5 min later poop in his underwear while in his room.    Now if he has to poop he has to have the door closed and everything.  Guess I don't blame him.  I like my privacy too. 

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  • SpenjaminsSpenjamins
    Totally back off for 2 months and make it her decision.
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  • thanxbabythanxbaby member
    I know I need to stop showing my frustration when she goes every single day in her pull-up at naptime, but honestly we are due with another LO in Feb and I thought I would get a little break from changing diapers.  I guess I feel stuck since it has become routine to go at naptime then fall asleep, like how are we ever going to end this cycle?  In the past, when traveling and she did not get a nap things got ugly because that was when she goes.  It did work once putting her in a pull-up and letting her go in the bathroom.  Just not sure if it would be worth it to end naps and try still giving her a pull-up but letting her go in the bathroom.  I feel like this might be the only way to end the routine she has?
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  • BrewtowngrlBrewtowngrl member

    Put her in a pull up and ask her is she wants to poop in the pull up in the bathroom.  Close the door and give her privacy.  Leave the potty seat out and a stool so she can get on the potty if she wants.  See what happens.  I would try it for awhile because she won't do it over night. It might take weeks.  No pressure though.  Don't force her in there, but ask every day before nap.   

    You story sounds exactly like mine except DS didn't nap and would try and change his pull up or underwear himself in his room.  Then he would smear the poop everywhere trying to get it off of him.  DS was fully pee trained for months before he would poop on the potty.  I also bought the Thomas Roundhouse (expensive if you are not into Thomas) because I was so desperate.  I put it on top of the fridge and told him it was for when he pooped on the potty.  After he finally did it we did the poop dance (yes, I danced with joy!), called both grandmas because he was so happy and then he asked for the roundhouse.  This was about 1 month after he turned 3. 

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  • Natesmom05Natesmom05
    I don't have any advice really but my DD is the exact same way. My DS was also a SLOW potty trainer. I was sure he'd go to kinder in pull ups but at 4yr he finally got it all figured out. It'll happen, just try not to stress. 
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  • TinyPinkBugTinyPinkBug member
    I would 100% back off and not even mention it for a few months.  Then try a passive approach again instead of fancy charts and rewards.  Don't argue about it, kids are stubborn and will stand their ground to win especially with potty training because they really are 100% in control of whether this works or not.
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    Listen to your pedi and back off.  Trust me I was there.  My DD could have been potty trained at 16 months but she refused to poop on the potty.  At age 3 she finally decided she was ready and just started pooping on the potty and the rest was history.  The more you push it, the longer it will take.  Just back off and don't mention it, don't even mention it when she poops in her pull-up - just hand her a wipe and have her help you clean herself up and toss the poop and then move on with your day.  If she does poop in the potty - praise her like she just won the world's biggest prize.  Reinforce the positive and ignore the negative.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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