Dear SAHM friend....

onetwofree · September 2011

just wanted to let you know that your working mom friends worry about the same things when it comes to their kids as you do. Being a working mom doesn't make you less of a mom.

Thanks,

Your WAHM friend

Ugh...I can not stand my SAHM friend's frequents comments about how SAHM's have to worry about all these things regarding their children, like what they should eat, debating when to move up in diaper size, sleep training, potty training etc. These are things all moms worry about regardless of their employment status.

jessNdean · September 2011

absolutely!

Your truly,

WAHM

smerka · September 2011

I'm a SAHM and I think your friend is a dipwad. Maybe she's just commenting because those are the major things she has to deal with all day. Where as working moms have to worry about those things plus all the things that come with working.

anna7602 · September 2011

I generally agree, except I have one working friend whose nanny has potty-trained their DS, plans his birthday parties every year (down to making all the food for it) and suggests to my friend what classes they should sign him up for during the day (music, etc.)

This is a really specific example, but in her case, I have to say she and I (a WAHM who works while DD is in preschool, for the most part) do not have the same worries as mothers.

EastCoastBride · September 2011

To follow on Anna, my DCP has done a TON in the potty training area. More than me.

But past that... next time she says that, I'd gently say "why do you think I don't worry about that?".

I would assume (maybe hope?) that she's had a working mom friend previously who talked about hwo their DCP did all this and how they didn't have to worry about any of it - so maybe she assumes all working moms have it "easy"?

And... regardless, while DS is basically PT'd at daycare, he is resisting it at home. So while I know he can do it - *I* still have to tackle it at home! So it's no easy out for me anyhow...

jesssy1204 · September 2011

I am a SAHM and I must say that we dont all think like that.. I find that odd that they DO.. You are just as much of a mom working as a SAHM.. sorry to hear that

FutureMrsCaesar · September 2011

I agree your SAHM friend is being a jerk. I think working moms have MORE to worry about than SAHM (except in rare cases like the nanny, but one of the kids in DS1s daycare is a SAHM and has a nanny...).

chicsub · September 2011

She sounds a little slow or very immature. I mean, it's just common sense that the things she's talking about aren't just a SAHM thing.

Mrs.JLC · September 2011

I'm curious to know what context she is bringing this up in. I only ask because I have a SAHM friend who makes comments about how that's ALL she has to worry about and that she sometimes misses working. So her comments aren't really about how I have less to worry about but how she sometimes misses have a job outside the home.

onetwofree · September 2011

Mrs.JLC:
I'm curious to know what context she is bringing this up in. I only ask because I have a SAHM friend who makes comments about how that's ALL she has to worry about and that she sometimes misses working. So her comments aren't really about how I have less to worry about but how she sometimes misses have a job outside the home.

oh she most certainly does NOT miss working. she quit working for years before she even had kids because she "doesn't like to work." she makes plenty of comments like this all the time.

MereB · October 2011

I'm a SAHM, and your friend seems ridiculous. Worrying about when to go up in diaper size?? I hope this was an exaggeration, LOL.

Parenting can be tough, but I would never complain or act irrational about trivial things because I know how fortunate I am to want to and be able to SAH. Plus, I would not try to compare things to a working mom- because I am not sure how they do all they do.

fromvatobk · October 2011

Ok, I have to mention in response to the comments about working moms who let DCP handle stuff--I work and my DS has a babysitter. Even though she is definitely on the front lines day to day handling some issues like PT (which really isn't happening right now), sharing, etc., I feel like I am intimately involved in all of that. We are constantly discussing what solutions will work best for DS and how to maintain consistency between us and usually I'm the one devising the plans. I may not be there everytime he sits on the potty or cries on the playground, but I definitely know about it and am intimately involved in his care on those issues and am just as exhausted dealing with them when I'm working as I am when I'm home.

macchiatto · October 2011

chicsub:
She sounds a little slow or very immature. I mean, it's just common sense that the things she's talking about aren't just a SAHM thing.

Agreed. I'm a SAHM and I don't remember hearing any of my fellow SAHMs say stuff like that.

Soap1 · October 2011

I think the biggest thing SAHMs worry about that working moms don't is how not to blow your brains out from sitting at home for 12 hours with babies!

Worrying about diaper sizes? Seriously? She needs bigger problems. Maybe you should take her to the pediatric oncology ward for a tour.

Dear SAHM friend....

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