Not invited

babywaytoday · September 2011

The shower is for my 18 year old sister. Her and the father are together but the shower is the first time she will be meeting many of his extended family so we decided to keep it girls only. A guest RSVP'd for both herself, her husband, and her two sons. How do I politely make it clear to her that the party was not planned with men in mind. In fact, it was planned very anti male as my sister is introverted and the idea of opening gifts such as breast pumps in front of strange males is not her idea of a good shower. I really want the event to go as smoothly as possible so that the slightly awkward meeting of the families can go off without a hitch. Her comfort is my number one priority not a guest's desire to have her husband and children meet the mother of their distant cousin.

LIvie Dean · September 2011

That's a hard call to make. I'm in the same boat as your sister. I'm also 18 and my boyfriends' mom and sister are throwing me a shower for their side. I don't think they invited any guys, but they haven't told me anything about the shower either. I would hate opening gifts like that infront of other people too. That's why I didn't put those kinds of things on my registry. I'm not sure there's a polite way to uninvite that womans husband and kids. Maybe have the father's mom say something to her. I hope everything goes good and your sister has a good time.

EastCoastBride · September 2011

"We got your RSVP. We're so glad you can make it. However, I have to apologize that our invitation wasn't clear. This is actually a women only shower."

Hopefully she'll respond "Oh ok, no problem"

if she gives you any grief, just be honest and say that your sister is nervous about meeting the family and she's very shy, so you all want to keep it to just women for this event.

weddingbells2010 · September 2011

EastCoastBride:
"We got your RSVP. We're so glad you can make it. However, I have to apologize that our invitation wasn't clear. This is actually a women only shower."

This. Hopefully it was an RSVP that was mailed; if you already spoke to her on the phone and didn't take the opportunity to clear it up on the spot, it will be a little more awkward... but you still need to address it so that the poor guy and his kids aren't uncomfortable when they show up to a shower and are the only guys there.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · September 2011

Respond back and say something nicely like, "Thank you for the RSVP but we would like to keep this shower for just the ladies, thank you."

It's rude for anyone to throw additional guests onto an RSVP. This happened with one of our wedding invites. A single gal responded "+ 1 guest" when it was just addressed to her. Turns out she didn't even have a guest at the time but if she managed to find a date in time for the wedding then there would be a space for him. She even ended up flaking in the end so there were two plates of food at $75 a piece that went to waste.

cdymond · September 2011

Like previous posts, I would just be blunt and say that there are no men coming to the shower. Maybe her family is used to having co-ed showers? But either way, it will probably be more uncomfortable for the husband and boys to be there as the only guys than it will be for your sister!! So you'll be doing a favor for everyone if you're straightforward.

abba916 · September 2011

EastCoastBride:
"We got your RSVP. We're so glad you can make it. However, I have to apologize that our invitation wasn't clear. This is actually a women only shower."
Hopefully she'll respond "Oh ok, no problem"
if she gives you any grief, just be honest and say that your sister is nervous about meeting the family and she's very shy, so you all want to keep it to just women for this event.

This!

kendieth · September 2011

when he reaches there and sees that he is the only man trust me he will leave

Happily Overwhelmed · October 2011

UGH!!! I hate that!

We had a huge problem with this and our wedding. I EVEN went to the extent of creating personalized RSVP cards with ONLY the invited people listed on the card. I still got responses with people handwritting their children in.

I agree with PP. It's awkward but you have to contact her. Tell her nicely that your sister can't wait to meet all the family members however this isn't going to be the place. Thank them for wanting to come but tell her it's a ladies only event...but you hope she'll join you without her husband, sons.

DarthNBJenni · October 2011

kendieth:
when he reaches there and sees that he is the only man trust me he will leave

Unless he's like my dad, who came to my shower for free food, lol.

kelle017 · October 2011

EastCoastBride:

"We got your RSVP. We're so glad you can make it. However, I have to apologize that our invitation wasn't clear. This is actually a women only shower."

Hopefully she'll respond "Oh ok, no problem"

if she gives you any grief, just be honest and say that your sister is nervous about meeting the family and she's very shy, so you all want to keep it to just women for this event.

This.

rhubarb123 · October 2011

Be sure to contact that guest and let her know that the shower is LADIES only and you are sorry if there was an misunderstanding. Hopefully other family of the father's doesn't do the same thing (but didn't bother to put it on the RSVP). I think that would be my biggest worry at this point.

McGibbon51311 · October 2011

I agree with the pp. If your first goal is your sisters comfort level, and making sure that the party is all females (which is the typical baby shower) to contact the woman and apologize for any confusion that may have ensued, but the shower is ladies only and while your sister is excited to meet the extended family (including the men) it will have to be at a later date. I would be polite but make sure to be firm. It seems like this woman was rather rude adding in uninvited guests so she may try to persuade you to allow them to come. Stand your ground, your sister will thank you.

shamilton223 · October 2011

Ask the daddy-to-be to get together a couple of friends and "kidnap" any guys that show up for a daddy celebration. Your spouse or boyfriend could participate in the guy event as well... if at a house, have the guys go outside to toss a football, shoot hoops, etc. or if somewhere else, have the guys go down the street to a restaurant for drinks and appetizers or something. The key is for daddy-to-be to say that he was only around to make sure that she got there safely and so that he could help her load gifts at the end of the day. In the meantime, he can invite the guys to get away from all the girlie festivities and go have some fun.

BMerry09 · October 2011

crazy.. what man really wants to go to a baby shower... especially young boys.. be blunt, tell her its a womens only affair

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