Any SAHMs have LOs with separation anxiety?

amanicen · September 2011

I know anxiety is normal at this age but DD's has become unbearable the past month. I SAH with her during the week and work 3rd shift on the weekends, so we spent almost all of her awake time together. I love it but she's become so clingy I can't get anything done. She used to be happy to play a few minutes on her own but not lately.

Anytime I get more than a few feet away from her she starts to cry; if I leave the room for a minute (to start laundry, spray off her diaper, etc) it turns into a hysterical scream even though she's safe in her crib with plenty of toys. DH's work schedule has him away for 12 hours some days and as much as I love playing with and holding her I also need to get things done sometimes. I have an Ergo and usually carry her around on my back when she gets clingy but even that can't be done all day.

Teething has been hard on her (she got her two bottoms earlier this month & the top two are coming in now) but otherwise she's happy as long as I'm close. Is there anything else I can do to help her be more independent? I want her to know I'm there when she needs me but it's also important to us for her to be able to play well on her own. Any tips or advice?

TakeLuck · September 2011

DS gets anxious if we're not touching one another. So yes...

As long as you reassure her and respond to her needs, she'll get there in her own time. Kids whose parents force independence on them are the ones that have problems with confidence at school age.

amanicen · September 2011

Thank you both, that makes me feel better. I'm trying to enjoy this time being cuddly, it's just hard on DH's long days and days like tomorrow when I'm up all night at work and then attached to her all day. She's very close to crawling (or walking, not sure which she'll do first) so I'm sure she'll get sick of me soon enough. She does great with other people so I try to have my sister come over to play with her once a week or so, it's just being alone that brings on the tears.

I hate seeing her so upset when I do have to leave her alone but it helps to remember it won't last forever.

luckybride1128 · September 2011

DS is the same way. I usually try to preoccupy him with a toy before going into another room. That usually buys me some time. I also have little "Timmy spots" in each major area where I need to get chores done, so that we can be in the same room. A walker in the kitchen, a bumbo for him to sit in while I shower or spray off diapers, some toys near the laundry room. It sounds insane but this set up is allowing me to get some stuff done lol.

bucklebunny1 · September 2011

I have a super clingy DD. I wear her a lot and like pp said I never force he separation (besides when I have to pee or something). In the last couple days I've notices some major strides in being more independent, so have faith... It does get better

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2011

My son was like this at that age, but now is the most independent child I know. It's a totally normal phase. Just give her as much snuggles as she needs. You can encourage independent play-start small with a minute or so and provide lots of praise when she demonstrates playing by herself.

twirlyjack73 · September 2011

Yes, it's rough! I read something that said that at this age they don't understand the concept of time so when you walk out of the room they think you're gone forever. That helped me to be more compassionate. It'll pass in due time.

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