concerned about DS — The Bump
Babies: 9 - 12 Months

concerned about DS

my DS will be 1 in a couple weeks and I am having some major concerns about his development.  Let me start off by saying that I know every child is different and they all hit their milestones at their own pace but the longer this goes on the more concerned I get.

 DS has always hit his milestones late and still doesn't do a lot of the things he 'should' be doing.  He wouldn't sit unassisted until 7 months and still will not put himself into a sitting position.  He will only army crawl and didn't start until about 9 months (he has recently started rocking back onto his knees but will immediately fall down).  He won't feed himself with the pincher grasp and he doesn't try to pull himself up, infact, he hardly has any interest in standing up with help and he keeps his legs stiff when you try to hold him up and make him "walk".

The other thing that worrys me is his speech, he will babble mama and dada but he wont say it to us or call to us, he doesn't want to wave bye either.  He claps, signs for more and does "so big" but doesn't seem interested in much else. His birthday party is in 2 weeks and he seems more like a 6mo old to me then a 1 yr old so it seems to be bothering me more knowing that other people might notice this at his party and wonder what's going on.

His well check is coming up on the 20th but I'm having major anxiety that the Dr. is going to finally say he needs PT or that he has low tone or something.  Has anyone experienced these sort of set backs?  I would like to know what, if anything I can do, I want to give him as much of a push as possible. Any thoughts on this?

 

Re: concerned about DS

  • You're doing just fine. My son is 10 and was late to do many things. My oldest daughter is 21 months and is sharp as a whip, early achiever here. My youngest daughter is 7 months old and is not babbling, just learned to roll over, isn't crawling and isn't pulling up or walking.

    I see my youngest as the type of contented baby to do what she's going to do when she's ready. My oldest daughter's personality is the type to do just what she feels like well before you expect her to. My son's personality is eager to please and deathly afraid to disappoint someone if it isn't done just right, he's always looking for acceptance.

    I don't want my kids thinking they need to fit in a mold in order to be seen as "normal". The idea of 'normal', IMO is relative. I don't give a rats ass what someone else thinks about the development of my kids. We don't rely on other people to determine the self worth of our children. If one is really bold, one is timid and the other is not in the mood to talk yet....fine by us. They will all get there eventually.

    To make a suggestion, let your DS be a baby. You will miss this time and wish you had focused more on playing than pushing him to excel because you worried about the opinion of your pedi. These days will fly by and you'll wonder where the time went. If your LO is ecstatic to be in your arms and snuggle all night? Let him. Just because you didn't do tummy time this week isn't going to stall his development. Maybe his personality is really laid back. Let him surprise you.

    ETA: My son didn't walk till he was 14-15 months old. Emma walked at a year. Isla is behind the curve and not crawling.

  • People keep telling us that DS is 'so advanced' even though he has been really late at lots of things, for instance he:

    didn't sit unassisted until 10 months

    didn't start eating real solids (not just purees) until 10 months - and still can't eat most things, including bread, crackers, etc.!!

    just started feeding himself with the pincer grab

    doesn't clap

    sometimes waves bye bye (but at random times that obviously don't mean bye bye to him!)

    doesn't sign for more

    doesn't say mama (only dada and baba, and NEVER with meaning)

    Get my drift?? Like you said, every child develops differently... don't worry!! Enjoy his birthday and this brief period of time where he isn't into everything making a mess, only most things... ;)

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  • Thanks ladies, that is a relief to know others are doing or not doing the same things.  I knew he was hitting late but the older he gets the more concerned I have been growing wondering if I should be doing some sort of therapy with him.  Of would love him whether he ran a marathon tomorrow or never walked ever but like any parent I want to make sure I do my best by him. 

    It's aggrevated by the fact the my older DD was very advanced like previous poster was describing so he feels even more behind to me. 

    He's a sweetheart though, so cuddly and loving, while my daughter was very advanced in her skills she was never as attached to me as DS is.  I feel bad sometimes because I blame myself for his delays because I held him almost all day for 4 months before I went back to work, then I would come home and hold him more, I just couldn't put his cuteness down! 

    Thanks for calming my fears!

  • You can always get him evaluated for free by your local Early Intervention program. That's the whole reason they are there. They will be able to tell you what is the range of normal, and probably put your mind at ease.
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