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I am sad for my TTC friends/family.

RunSchwartzRunRunSchwartzRun
in Pregnant after a Loss

I feel like I should know what to do after everything we went through, but I really don't.  SIL was cut off from clomid at her OB yesterday and told to see an RE (which they really can't afford.)  My BFF just got a BFN/AF this morning after her first IUI. Neither of them have any children yet.  Why does it have to be so hard? 

I had nothing but bad luck in every part of my life for 5 years, and now everything is going right for us (knock on wood.)  I just wish I could help them.  I feel like being pregnant is really reducing my credibility to commiserate even though I was in their shoes for over 2 years.  Any ideas?

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Re: I am sad for my TTC friends/family.

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    DragonflyBelleDragonflyBelle
    Just be there for them in whatever capacity they want you. I know this feeling really sucks. *HUGS*
    DD#1 11.7.07 - DD#2 11.2.10 (3rd Tri Loss)- DD#3 4.18.12
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    meeko1985meeko1985
    imageRunSchwartzRun:

    I feel like I should know what to do after everything we went through, but I really don't.  SIL was cut off from clomid at her OB yesterday and told to see an RE (which they really can't afford.)  My BFF just got a BFN/AF this morning after her first IUI. Neither of them have any children yet.  Why does it have to be so hard? 

    I had nothing but bad luck in every part of my life for 5 years, and now everything is going right for us (knock on wood.)  I just wish I could help them.  I feel like being pregnant is really reducing my credibility to commiserate even though I was in their shoes for over 2 years.  Any ideas?

    I think about this ALL OF THE TIME. Its just one of those things that I never thought would be difficult for me, and I wasn't really connected to anyone in real life who having a baby was difficult for.  And then all of the sudden, I suppose when friends started having babies, multiple people in my life are struggling.  And I just don't understand why.... its supposed to be so easy.

    Anyway, like a previous poster said, I think that providiing support in any way you can.  My SIL has one healthy baby but suffered 3 miscarriages.   Even though she has a child, I still turn to her for support.  Talking about what I'm going through and what she went through REALLY means a lot to me.


    BFP#1 EDD 11/8/11 - MC @ 9w6d, 4/15/11 we said goodbye
    BFP#2 DD arrived 5/7/12
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    damabo80damabo80 member

    You're a good friend!

    But I totally get the survivor's guilt. Sad  It sucks. I think just listen and stay away from the "I tried for x years, and look what happened, squuee!", since the IF+ oopsies tend not to be the norm.


    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
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    RunSchwartzRunRunSchwartzRun
    imagedamabo80:

    You're a good friend!

    But I totally get the survivor's guilt. Sad  It sucks. I think just listen and stay away from the "I tried for x years, and look what happened, squuee!", since the IF+ oopsies tend not to be the norm.

    Thanks dama.  That is good advice.  My SIL especially was going on about how it must be a major problem if 8 rounds of clomid didn't fix it.  I used my situation to say not necessarily true.  I probably should have just kept my mouth shut. Although I promise I didn't squee.

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