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What to consider when making a will?

res932res932 member
in Blended Families
DH and I are going to start working on creating a will, but I was wondering what we need to consider when drawing up the will. Of course we will need to address custody of DS who is due in January, and if something happens to DH then SS will go with BM. We are also concerned that if something happens to us about the money BM would get for SS. We would like to put the money in a trust for when he turns 18, otherwise it would all be gone long before he turned 18 if BM had access to it. What did some of you do? Did you appoint an executor that would give money to BM or does BM get none of it? What other sort of blended family considerations should we be thinking of?
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Re: What to consider when making a will?

  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member

    Who would get custody of your SS if something happened to BM and then something happened to DH, and do not rule out someone in her family if it is best for the child.

    Any personal property to be divided like jewelry, our lawyer told us not to put it in the wills but to make sure the executor knows our wishes.  The only other things you mentioned, custody of your child and who will hold the money until your kids are of an age you determine, b/c of issues with my SD we made the age 30 but it was originally 25.

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • NativeNyerNativeNyer

    We had our wills done and SD would get a certain percentage.  However, she would have to wait until she was 25. 

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  • SteveandKrisSteveandKris
    SS has money placed in a trust if something happens to DH. I am the executor. He can have access to the money at 25 or when he graduates from college. I can elect to use the money for college expenses. bm gets nothing. DH has also asked that part of his life insurance is used to help his mother secure some sort of visitation as bm will not allow SS this.

    we discussed this briefly last week, the first couple posts on the next page are about wills, life insurance and stuff. I'm on mu iPad so I can't link.

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  • IlumineIlumine member
    Who gets custody. How you set up the trust (we have rules for the money, like you cannot touch the principle u til you are 30, but you can get reimbursed for some college expenses IF you have a 3.0 GPA). Will you include upkeep for the guardian?

     

    Our BM stole $26,000 dollars with of inheirtance from the kids. We have done everything possible to ensure that she does not get a cent of the kids money or items.

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  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member
    Our lawyer told us that DH could put in his will that he would like me to retain his custody rights and why he thinks that is in SDs best interest.  He said we could also put any money in a trust for SD that she could not access until she was 18 (0r 25) but that a 3rd party could access if she needed it (say a grandparent or aunt/uncle, who BM would then have to ask for the money).
    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
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  • NikkiJ19NikkiJ19

    If DH and I go together the money goes to my mom. She will do with it the same as we will for the kids and she is strong enough to tell the BMs no if they are trying to get the money for goofy stuff. As they turn 18 they will each get 1/4 with my mom still getting for any minors.

    Hopefully we are still alive so none of this would matter. I know 18 is young and they could blow the money but we have to trust they will do right. We can not trust the BMs. They don't have a safety net and I want the kids to be able to fall back on something if we are not around. It is worth the chance of it being wasted to us.

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  • SusanH.SusanH. member

    We made DH's sister a trustee for any inheritance my DH's son would get if we both died.  NOTHING would go directly to SS or to his mother for him. 

    SS can get his inheritance at 3 points in time. At age 25 he would get 1/3 and then at 30 he can have half of what is left and the balance at age 35.

    There is no way we would let his mother have access to any of our assets and we know that DH's sister would make sure ss has what he needs. We want SS to have an education and use it....not sit back and spend inheritance instead of working.

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