annoyed. SO to sharing info I guess
Phantomgirl
member
Last weekend SS told me that he thought that it was his last football practice and that from this week on he was going to have soccer practice instead.
I didn't want to ask the coach Sat morning because I didn't know if it really was the end of football season OR if BM was just moving SS due to the bullying / name calling he has been going through (which I witnessed on Sat and they are pretty mean to SS. When SS got put on a team they all groaned and started to shout at the coach saying that he can't even save the ball, he is a sub goalie).
He also told me that he 'might' have a sleep over on Friday night and I will meet BM at practice on Sat instead of collecting him Friday eve.
which practice, football or scoocer? they are in different places and at different times?
I said OK no prob tell BM to call / text me when she knows.
He said that BM would see his friends mom on the Monday as it was her week to drive them to and from school and she would know then.
I have not heard a thing from her. It just bugs the sh!t out of me that she does not give me any consideration. Isn't it common courtesy?
A few weeks back she put SS in football practivce on a friday eve, DH found out when SS got in the car dressed to go and he had to go straight there with him. I kinda got used to it lol, as in I liked coming home on Friday eve and have a few hours before DH and SS got home. Then she changed it to Wed eve. DH found out when he picked him up on Friday intending to go.
Sometimes I wonder if she does it just to be a PITA???
I am torn between being the bigger person by just texting her a nice text, hey BM whats the plan for the weekend? OR not and then telling her I am not available at those times on Sat.
The probelm with that is, she wont care, she will just keep SS and we will not get to see him.
Tell me again why its better to be the bigger person?
OR
think or a fool proof revenge tactic???
Re: annoyed. SO to sharing info I guess
This is one of the worst. It has played a huge part in my attitude lately. A couple weeks ago BM#1 called DH and said SD wanted to come home on Saturday to help BM pack (they were moving the following weekend). DH says okay and we will be out that way around 3pm so we will drop her off.
Saturday comes and I tell SD to get her stuff together to go home since we are dropping her off on the way. She has no idea what I am talking about and actually got smart about it but that is another issue.
DH called BM to see what was going on and she just says "oh I changed my mind." You stupid b!tch it is fine to change your mind but you couldn't send a text or an email. We can't read your mind!!!
Have you DH call or text her to find out the plan. it's not your job to be the one to stay on top of all of this. My opinion is that if you (your dh) are somewhat aware of plans chaning through your SS, I would just confirm it with BM.
It's a PITA, and I still think this falls on BM to inform you guys.
I didn't know your SS was being teased so much, that is just plain mean and not acceptable. What does the coach say when things like this happen? It makes me sad for him!
Sorry, I've got to second this. You've talked before about how DH puts a lot of this stuff on you. I think you just ask him to figure it out, and if he can't support it (do the driving, etc.) to let you know.
I think your fool-proof revenge is to put your foot down and stop allowing these inconsiderate people to take advantage of you.
That doesn't mean you don't do anything with or for DSS, it means you let DH be the go-between with HIS ex and HIS son. Then you fill in the blanks where you can. How is your DH going to learn responsibility if you keep covering for him? Unless I am remembering totally wrong, and the way things are works for you. Then ignore me.
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Phantom,
I HIGHLY suggest that you force DH to deal with the times for driving. You can still drive, but unless DH has called or recieved a confirmation email from BM you will not go.
I GET DH is pissed because of BM's actions. But he has to be a grown up here. We all have to work with people we dislike. Its MORE important when it is the mother of your child.
This is a great topic to discuss in your next therapy session. But please stand up for yourself here.
Its been going on for a while Bebe and the kids are pretty mean to him BUT he insists on going.
I have had some good conversations with him about it lately and he seems to be handling it well. BUT then when I witness it I feel like charging the pitch and drop kicking a few kids into touch.
The coach seems to ignore it for the most part, other than a few 'come on lads thats enough' comments.
DH has absolutely no problem dealing with this and NEVER has any issue contact her.
I talked to him last night and he told me that he text her this past weekend and said that she needed to talk to SS and decide what they wanted to do about football (Gaelic Footabll) and soccer, pick a team and stick to it. He told her we were not going to wait for her to contact us every weeknd to tell us what we are doing. He also told her that if she does not decide then he will.
The only reason he is not deciding at present is that BM is friends with these coaches (her friends DHs etc) and when he tried to talk to her about it and about talking to the coach she flipped out and told him to stay out of it that she will do it.
Dh has no problem contacting BM ever. However she has not replied to him as of yet.
He text her again last night with a straight forward 'whats the plan for the weekend' and so far no reply.
She is just being a b!tch. Anyhow DH told me last night to make what ever plans I like and if SS football has changed then unfortunately he will not be able to go as we did not know in time.
Its not fair to SS BUT maybe BM needs to see that her actions are hurting SS because to date we have kinda been jumping through hoops for her.
DH said he is sick of it and it is not continuing. We will plan as normal this weekend and if anything has changed unfortunately it does not suit us.
To be honest I kinda knew this would be DH attitude, he is much tougher than I. I guess I am back trying to buffer so that SS does not end up missing out. BUT I can't deal with her any more when she is being completely unreasonable.
She seems hell bent on shooting herself int he foot lately.
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9.5. We tell him every week that is there are any changes to call or have BM call us. Doesn't work.
When the interim order we have was put in effect. BM was supposed to be moving to Houston, TX (from Maine). We had SD for the summer and Christmas break, and SS for the duration of the year until the order is revisited. BM texts DH one day and says she's moving to Orlando after being in Houston for 3 weeks or so. We contact lawyer, make sure everything is okay, etc. BM now in Orlando won't give an address, then gives a phony one, doesn't have a job, etc. Time comes for SD to go to her BM and lawyer says there is nothing we can do, we have to send SD. We find out through SS's FB page a few weeks later that BM is now is Corpus Christi. No notice whatsoever. 2 weeks later BM tells SS that she wants him to go over to her parents house for a BBQ. No talking to us about whether we had plans. We say "no". She says that there is a surprise at her parents for him. We think that she's using gifts to get SS to go to her parents (SS doesn't like going because BM's mom tells him how stupid he is all the time, we don't want to send him because of it) SS wants to go because there's a gift. So DH gives in. SS calls asking to stay the night, we think it's weird, so DH says "put your mother on the phone" (hunches are wonderful)
SHE friggin' MOVED back to Maine without EVER telling DH and pulls that crap. PLUS moved SD 3 times around the country not including the original trip from our house to her. The whole "purpose" of this arrangement was because she wanted to establish herself. She tells DH "no one was hiring" DH and I know that no one would hire her because she's almost 40 and has never held a job for more than 10 weeks before quitting, and has extensive time where she didn't work at all.
When the interim order we have was put in effect. BM was supposed to be moving to Houston, TX (from Maine). We had SD for the summer and Christmas break, and SS for the duration of the year until the order is revisited. BM texts DH one day and says she's moving to Orlando after being in Houston for 3 weeks or so. We contact lawyer, make sure everything is okay, etc. BM now in Orlando won't give an address, then gives a phony one, doesn't have a job, etc. Time comes for SD to go to her BM and lawyer says there is nothing we can do, we have to send SD. We find out through SS's FB page a few weeks later that BM is now is Corpus Christi. No notice whatsoever. 2 weeks later BM tells SS that she wants him to go over to her parents house for a BBQ. No talking to us about whether we had plans. We say "no". She says that there is a surprise at her parents for him. We think that she's using gifts to get SS to go to her parents (SS doesn't like going because BM's mom tells him how stupid he is all the time, we don't want to send him because of it) SS wants to go because there's a gift. So DH gives in. SS calls asking to stay the night, we think it's weird, so DH says "put your mother on the phone" (hunches are wonderful)
SHE friggin' MOVED back to Maine without EVER telling DH and pulls that crap. PLUS moved SD 3 times around the country not including the original trip from our house to her. The whole "purpose" of this arrangement was because she wanted to establish herself. She tells DH "no one was hiring" DH and I know that no one would hire her because she's almost 40 and has never held a job for more than 10 weeks before quitting, and has extensive time where she didn't work at all.