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TTC after 35
javanut
member
I'm 42 today Sigh.
javanut
member
in TTC after 35
Well today is my 42 birthday and I hope I can make all you thirtysomethings feel like the young whippersnappers you are.
I'm also in my final two week wait if my husband and I stick to our original plan to stop trying when I'm 42. I maybe able to talk him into a few more cycles but not many more. He's 44 and because his Mom and Grandfather died young he doesn't want to have children much later.
I'm not optimistic about this cycle, so I guess we will end up being a little family of 3.
I realize I was very blessed to have my daughter (got pg at 39 and delivered at 40). So I apologize if I come off as selfish or greedy to those who don't have a child yet. I know I'm lucky. I'm just grappling with the end of the dream of having two children.
We are not seeing an RE because we have no coverage for infertility and paying out of pocket could be a significant hit to our savings. Although, you can bet if we didn't have our daughter I would be cleaning out the savings accounts to do whatever it took.
A few relative factoids because I don't know how to do siggys and such. One daughter -- Claire born 4/10. Me: 42. DH 44. DX with hypothyroidism following treatment for Grave's Disease.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm 42 today Sigh.
First off, Happy Birthday Java. I'm sorry your closure date has arrived but you can always change your mind (if DH will agree). Even though you have a DD, you are still entitled to mourn that you can't have a second.
Maddie- Infertiles don't want to be told to adopt. It minimizes our feelings. We know adoption is an "option" and don't need it as a suggestion. I'm sorry if you think I am picking on you but I am so sick of people telling me to adopt so unfortunately you are on the receiving end of my annoyance today.
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
My Blog
First of all, Happy Happy Birthday. Secondly, I know how you are feeling. Our plan to stop trying is when I am 44. That will happen in April and it is coming too fast. Unlike you, I haven't been blessed with children. I married late and I guess I missed my window. I do have a beautiful 14 year-old SD but it's not the same. Keep us posted on your plan and if you just need to vent, I'm here.
McIrish - I understand your feelings - we too have been told many times about adoption and am tired of hearing about it. No offense to you Maddie. My SIL adopted a boy from Russia 7 years ago and she has been pushing. However, she has two children of her own. It's hard for us and sometimes feel that others don't understand what we are going through. Adoption is not for everyone. We have already decided against it.
Java, I wish you all the best in whatever decision you and DH make.
Ladies,
I saw this on PG >35 but thought I'd post here since it is 3 women getting pg over 43 when they weren't trying. I guess you just never know. The universe just needs to straighen out and make the women who WANT to be PG get PG and not the other way around..
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/58561024.aspx
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
Happy birthday Java!
McIrish - what is it about people lately. I have gotten the advice to adopt many times in the past two weeks. I even got the "if you adopt then you will get pregnant". We will adopt if I don't get pregnant and do plan to start looking into that at the beginning of the year. However, the adoption comments are not helpful from people that don't understand my situation.
Happy Birthday!! I am also 42 years old, but have found it not to be an ominous age and the hourglass does not run our on TTC efforts unless you want it to. For us, we had to change to an HMO for IVF to be covered. That year is up in December and we will be cycling soon. Unsure if this is our last cycle if the outcome is a BFN. Sorry for the negativity-but being positive just lets for such a huge letdown that I've stopped letting myself get too hopeful much of the time. My DH has no children of his own, he wants to be a daddy-and if we get lucky and can make that happen, then we will be ecstatic. If not, we're getting ready to be empty nesters (as my son will soon be 19). We could squeeze in one more cycle in December if needed, but after having been through so much-we are no longer sure that we want. We will likely try for one more year, and then I'll have Mirena put back in........One thing that I've learned about TTC is that it's variable, and everything is at times subject to change. When we married I wanted to get pregnant, but did not want to consider using ART. Multiple IVFs later, I have NO REGRETS. When I retire from this journey, I just wanted to say that I did everything that I could........and it wasn't meant to be for me. Good luck on your journey, and welcome to the board.
McIrish-Thanks for the link!.....needed some cheering today that it DOES happen to those of us that are AMA.
happy birthday.
don't give up hope yet ... i'm 42 and we had been trying for nearly 2 years when i finally got pg. we tried a bunch of different meds, but the cycle that did it was unstimulated ... just one little follie. i did do acupuncture tho, and i really think that helped.
good luck : )
Happy birthday. I'm 42, too (42.5 to be exact). And in the same boat you are. So very grateful for my son, but starting to mourn the loss of the dream of a second child and a sibling for our DS who will be 2 in November.
I am surprised at the emotions I am going through. When we got pregnant a month shy of 40, I was so thrilled and also relieved. I just wanted a child. Back when we were TTC #1, if you had told me that I would be feeling this way, I would have told you that you were crazy, that I would be lucky to have one. But here I am.
We are trying for 1 year. Though I have agreed to my husband's conditions. No fertility treatment to conceive. At my age, I'm not very optimistic about i--but maybe it is a defense mechanism so that when we don't get pregnant, I won't be devastated.
Hang in there.
Happy birthday to you. I wanted to wish you luck.
Happy Birthday! I hope you had a wonderful day.
Happy birthday! I am thinking good thoughts for you. Lately I feel like I have been hearing lots of positive stories about ladies getting pg at 42, so maybe it's a lucky number! I hope it is for you!!! I am 40 and TTC #1 (was pg @ 39 but ended in a m/c). I heard a stat once that women around age 40 have a surge in hormones, which accounts for a lot of 'surprise' babies later in life for some. I am hoping that surge holds true for all of us 40ish ladies!!!
I hope you enjoy this birthday and that all of your wishes come true
Thanks everyone. This board really does rock. ANd wow there are a lot of 42 year old here!
Let me clarify that I in no way think that 42 or 44 is "too old." But my husband has concerns since one side of his family has a lousy medical history. He didn't want to try for too much longer and my birthday was the nice round number we settled on. But I think I maybe have him talked into a couple more cycles.
Without an RE's help I realize we're a very long shot. Yes, we have talked about adoption (not offended by the suggestion) and I think we've decided we'd rather be a family of 3 and concentarte on the benefits it means for our one child --- bigger college fund, more attention etc.
Thanks everyone again.