S/O: Public vs. Private schools and birthday — The Bump
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S/O: Public vs. Private schools and birthday

So, DD's bday is Sept 1st.  The public school cutoff date to start kindergarten is August 31st.  Assuming I think she's ready, I have ZERO intentions of holding her back.  It irritates me that she'll have to wait another entire year to start school.  I'm not sure if there's any leeway with the cutoff date or not.  I mean, it's less than 24 hours.

Assuming there's not, would it be possible to send her to private school for kindergarten (if they have a later cutoff date or will accept her) and then put her in 1st grade at a public school the next year?  Basically a loophole to get her in with what I would consider to be her peers? 

Or is there anything you can do to get them in public school sooner, have them test in or something?  I know every kid is different and ready at different times, but I'm not a fan of red-shirting AT ALL unless there is an identifiable issue. 

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Re: S/O: Public vs. Private schools and birthday

  • Mikey, one of my friends lives in Craven county, and she's starting her daughter in private school, then transitioning her to public. Her birthday is early October. She started pre-K this year and will go to K next year, then go to public school for first grade. At least that's the plan for now.

    I completely agree with you about red-shirting. I was an August baby and stayed in honor classes throughout school, graduated college early and was done with grad school at 22. I would've been so bored if I had been held back a year.

  • imageECUGirl2004:

    Mikey, one of my friends lives in Craven county, and she's starting her daughter in private school, then transitioning her to public. Her birthday is early October. She started pre-K this year and will go to K next year, then go to public school for first grade. At least that's the plan for now.

    I completely agree with you about red-shirting. I was an August baby and stayed in honor classes throughout school, graduated college early and was done with grad school at 22. I would've been so bored if I had been held back a year.

    Good to know.  My only concern with that is her having to change schools so much.  But it would be worth it.  And the private school I would send her to has a pre-K program, so I might enroll her in that so she can be there a couple of years before starting public school. 

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  • It all depends on the county. I know wake is strict on the dates and you can have your child tested to get in early but they have to score super high (like 98% ) ive heard and the principal can still say no to them starting. Also, in Wake i've heard that they can also deny a kid trying to transfer from private kindy to public 1st or make them do a certain amount of time in kindy first. now granted this is wake and i know u are in the triad so im sure its prolly different. but with her being a girl i would think about starting her and not holdng her back but if she was a boy i might think twice.
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  • This is kind of where my question below is stemming from as well.  L misses the cutoff in NC by 30 days so she won't go to K until she is 6.

    We will likely have to start her in private K because of it or leave her in the last class (prek) at her daycare for 2 years.  I love her DC but there is no way she won't be bored with it by then.

    So we would have to switch her again.

    Obviously, we have  years to make this decision but her birthday makes things more complicated as Mikey said having to move them after a year or two.

  • Caylee's birthday is Sept. 18th.  I have no plans of trying to enter her sooner b/c I don't want her and Camryn to be one grade apart.  With them both having fall birthdays I've just come to terms I think with both of them being older in their classes and being o.k. with it. 

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  • I'm pretty sure a child can't be denied entry into a public school just because they started in a private Kindergarden. That seems illegal. Especially since we all have to pay taxes that majority of go to education.

     D3 misses the Wake Co. cut off by 11 days, he's a Sept 11 bday. He'll be 6 when he goes to kindergarden, no matter if he goes to public or private. Pretty sure all the private schools (at least the ones I have looked at our of curiosity) still use the 8/31 cut off date. I doubt I'd have him tested to get him in early, unless he seems to be bored in preschool or something.

    Back to the original question though, D3 will likely go to both public and private. At least that is what we are leaning toward now. Public till 5th grade then private. 

  • Wow, she misses it by one day! Maybe they will have changed the cut off date by then ;-)

    I don't have any advice, we are on the other end of the spectrum. Ashley is a July birthday and we may wait a year to send her to kindergarten. She is doing fine academically, but is a little behind socially (she is a huge follower and also tends to do things by herself) and I think her fine motor skills are a little behind (writing). For me personally, I would rather have her be the oldest in the class and thrive than be the very youngest and struggle. I volunteer in her preschool classroom and there is a huge difference in the kids that have September/October birthdays (just turned 5 or getting ready to) and the summer kids (just turned 4). We are going to see how she does this fall and early spring, but I am leaning towards it. Just my two cents. 

  • I would have her tested.  I was a Sept 21 baby and I started early.  I was the youngest in my class.  Still was in honors classes all my life, graduated high school at 17 and did just fine, had my engineering degree 4 years later.
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  • I have strong opinions on this issue, having worked in public elementary schools for what seems like forever.

    I would never ever start a child early.

    Never.

    Ever.

    Just my opinion, LOL.

    Some background:  In all of my years, we never had a child skip a grade.  We had K students reading on a 4th grade level, and they stayed in K.  But we retained 6-12 students each year who started school before they should have.  Academics are rarely to never the issue -- it's maturity in many facets of functioning in school and social skills.  Teachers can spot the younger ones in their classes without looking at birthdates -- ask any elementary teacher, it's actually quite enlightening.  Just food for thought, not to be snarky. :)

    ETA:  As far as cutoff dates, I would never start a child in K before their 5th birthday, not even if they would be 4 for just one day.  (The current cutoff gives a 6 day grace period with school usually starting on 8/25.)  The private school that I would consider for my girls (but not planning to ;)) has a cutoff of July 1st, FWIW, which I find interesting.

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  • imagecmbrown:
    I would have her tested.  I was a Sept 21 baby and I started early.  I was the youngest in my class.  Still was in honors classes all my life, graduated high school at 17 and did just fine, had my engineering degree 4 years later.

    To me, academics are just part of it. You need to look at the social skills/readiness (maturity) too. From my experience, there is a bigger difference in the social skills/maturity level than the academics, at least from what I have seen with the 4 and 5 year olds in my DD's preschool class. One of my good friends started her son on time (he was a July birthday) and she said it wasn't until he got to 2nd or 3rd grade that he really started to thrive socially. Again, just my two cents (and I am not saying this was an issue for you, this is just one of my main concerns for my DD, her maturity level).

  • Honestly, I think a lot of it works itself out over the 13 years a kid is in school from K to senior year.  There are so many things that come into play -- academics, maturity, social skills.  She could be ready for academics but not maturity or social skills, etc.  I was always the youngest (born in August, share a birthday with ECUGirl) -- I was was still always ahead academically but still was behind maturity wise from the other kids.  My brother was held back a year (born the same day as me 2 yrs later) so he was the oldest but he still wasn't the best at academics but was ahead socially (not necessarily maturity :).  My sister (also born in August) was held back a year so the oldest also -- she did great academically and maturity.  It's really hit or miss with each child.  There are pros to being the oldest and being the youngest.  It's good to have a mix in each year.  At this stage, I don't think I'd start my girls early or hold them back (if they were near the cut off dates).

    There will always be someone who is the oldest and someone will be the youngest :)

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  • imageraceyrae:

    Honestly, I think a lot of it works itself out over the 13 years a kid is in school from K to senior year.  There are so many things that come into play -- academics, maturity, social skills.  She could be ready for academics but not maturity or social skills, etc.  I was always the youngest (born in August, share a birthday with ECUGirl) -- I was was still always ahead academically but still was behind maturity wise from the other kids.  My brother was held back a year (born the same day as me 2 yrs later) so he was the oldest but he still wasn't the best at academics but was ahead socially (not necessarily maturity :).  My sister (also born in August) was held back a year so the oldest also -- she did great academically and maturity.  It's really hit or miss with each child.  There are pros to being the oldest and being the youngest.  It's good to have a mix in each year.  At this stage, I don't think I'd start my girls early or hold them back (if they were near the cut off dates).

    There will always be someone who is the oldest and someone will be the youngest :)

    Yes, I definitely agree it varies child by child. My co-worker's DD is only two weeks older than my DD, but definitely much more socially mature. Very interesting about your family and very cool that you all have August birthdays :-) 

  • Its not that they would deny them starting school cuz they went to private kindergarten but apparently they are catching on to people doing private k and transferring so i'v heard times where they make the kid go to K or the make them do a probationary 30 days or so in K before they decide if they can move to 1 but i dont think i'd want that for my child since they would miss the whole 1st month of 1st grade. But like some others have said its not as obvious now if the kid will struggle. Your kid could be so ahead now but as they get older struggle some socially and academically being the youngest. my stepson is a july bday and is one of the youngest and even in 5th grade i can see the benefits of him being the oldest.

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  • imagemrsmikey:
    imageECUGirl2004:

    Mikey, one of my friends lives in Craven county, and she's starting her daughter in private school, then transitioning her to public. Her birthday is early October. She started pre-K this year and will go to K next year, then go to public school for first grade. At least that's the plan for now.

    I completely agree with you about red-shirting. I was an August baby and stayed in honor classes throughout school, graduated college early and was done with grad school at 22. I would've been so bored if I had been held back a year.

    Good to know.  My only concern with that is her having to change schools so much.  But it would be worth it.  And the private school I would send her to has a pre-K program, so I might enroll her in that so she can be there a couple of years before starting public school. 

     As a kid who went to private school for kindergarten and then transferred into public school for 1st grade (only b/c the private school closed), I will say that it was a very difficult transition for me. All of the kids in my 1st grade class all knew each other from kindergarten the year before and they didn't take kindly to newcomers. It made making friends much more difficult.

    Side story: I remember being really scared and shy the first day of 1st grade in because of the new school. The teacher showed me my seat, I sat down, and I said hello to the girl next to me. She looked at me, cocked her head to the side, and said, "You're ugly." And then she turned away. Crying  Kids can be so mean!

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  • I wouldn't worry about this yet. If you're talking about your newborn daughter, you've got years to figure it out. And honestly, they may make the cutoff date earlier by then anyhow.

    It wouldn't be redshirting her if she misses the cutoff. I think if it were my daughter, I'd feel more comfortable waiting a year. Better for her to be one of the older ones in the class than one of the youngest. There's just so much difference in size too, and so many of the smaller kids get picked on. And maturity levels vary so much as well. So even if she were academically ready, that's not all to consider when making this decision.

     

     

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  • imageMrsLee04:

    I totally disagree with this practice in this state.  I grew up with it being calendar year and the kids born at the end of the year did not struggle more than the kids born in the beginning.  I can think of at least 2 examples of kids in my graduating class born in December (one the 27th!) the same birth year as everyone else in our class and they both excelled in school, in college, and now have awesome careers.  I think children should be evaluated as individuals and lumping them into some kind of "time of year" birth category is wrong.   

    I'm not following your statement.  In either situation there is a cute off to starting the next year -- whether the school district makes it September 1 or January 1.  I think your examples also get at what I was referring to -- a kid can do great even if he's the youngest or oldest in the class. 

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  • imageMrsLee04:
    imageraceyrae:
    imageMrsLee04:

    I totally disagree with this practice in this state.  I grew up with it being calendar year and the kids born at the end of the year did not struggle more than the kids born in the beginning.  I can think of at least 2 examples of kids in my graduating class born in December (one the 27th!) the same birth year as everyone else in our class and they both excelled in school, in college, and now have awesome careers.  I think children should be evaluated as individuals and lumping them into some kind of "time of year" birth category is wrong.   

    I'm not following your statement.  In either situation there is a cute off to starting the next year -- whether the school district makes it September 1 or January 1.  I think your examples also get at what I was referring to -- a kid can do great even if he's the youngest or oldest in the class. 

    I said I disagree with the mid-year cutoff and that it should be calendar year.  If a kid born later in the year isn't ready, then they can wait a year to start.  But it should be based on that child's needs/readiness....not that they were born after 8/31.  It should be a choice that the parents and school make together.

    I agree with the parents/school making the choice together.  I just don't see the difference between the 8/31 or 12/31 date -- either way the parents of someone born the day before or after has to make the same decision based on whether they think their child is ready to start school then or wait a year.

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