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Anyone's DH complain about "timed BD'ing"?

MirandaTNMirandaTN member
in Infertility

I am just curious if anyone else's DH complains about this? I've had this issue with him for awhile. He doesn't want to feel the pressure that comes with trying to have a baby right now and isn't thrilled that I am on Clomid, now having ultrasounds and had my first trigger shot today. We're told to BD tonight, Saturday & Monday... He's not happy with it.

He wants a baby, too.... it's not that. But for some reason, he thinks temping, tracking days, clomid... that I'm overreacting or that it's not neccessary. It was kind of blown up in my face this morning when I called him after the ultrasound to say that they said I had two great looking eggs and I was so excited about that... and got attitude because of the extra steps.

 It obviously isn't happening on our own... after two years. I had two pregnancies, one that was successful and we now have a beautiful 5 year old girl... that happened with no problems, so I think that he just doesn't "get it".

I thought we were on the same wavelength with this... and then today, I was kind of thrown through the loop with it being "not needed".... Kind of ruins everything all together.

 I don't really know why I kept going after my main question. I think it's so new in my mind right now that I needed to vent. So sorry about that since I'm so new here and don't really know any of you yet!

I appreciate you all for reading, though!

Done now. Promise :)

 

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Re: Anyone's DH complain about "timed BD'ing"?

  • maddie7maddie7
    Yes he hated the pressure, so I would tell him in the morning that we needed to do it that day and just wait for him when he was ready. That worked. Unfortunately now it's all IUIs so it's really like planned out but he doesn't mind going in on his specimen days. All I can say is be patient and tell him once and not nag. GL
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  • wither16wither16

    I will just be honest on this one.  If my husband complained about something as simple as being told to have sex, I would punch him in the gut.  But that's just me... LOL

    We just finished our first IVF cycle, and I was the one having to do all the injections, ultrasounds, bloodwork.  My H only had to give his speciman, and let's be honest, that's not exactly difficult for them.....

    Sorry I didn't have much advice, other than sitting him down and talking it out.  Most of us are past the Timed intercourse stage in our IF journey, but I am sure at one time or another, our DH have complained about something.  Just depends on what it is....  For me, my DH hates giving blood, he did not "enjoy" the needles, or the Uro visit where he had to drop his pants.... but he sucked it up to do what needed to be done.  GL with talking with him!  I am sure it will all work out well!

    TTC with Endo-DX-10 yrs ago
    IUI#1-April 2010- Clomid 100mg, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
    IUI #2- Cancelled due to cysts
    IUI #3- June 2010- Clomid, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
    Break due to DH deployment
    Lap #7 Dec 2010- this time my Colon was adhered to my abdominal wall
    Since the start of our journey, new issues along with original Endo, 3 MFI unexplained, Cervical Stenosis, AMH .08, Low AFC, 2 blocked tubes
    IVF #1 - ET 09/18-Transferred 2 Embryos
    Beta #1 09/29-23 Beta #2 10/01- 52 Beta #3 10/05-342!! Lil Cub born 5/20
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  • MirandaTNMirandaTN member

    Thanks ladies!!

    I realized after I posted this that it may be on the wrong board and I apologize for that now! I definitely did mean to undermind anything anyone is going through here. Please forgive me.

     We have talked many times... I just don't understand why he doesn't "get it". Or thinks it's overreaching when there's something not working. We'll deal with it... he'll deal with it. He's getting laid, right ;)

     Thanks again :)

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  • wither16wither16
    imageMirandaTN:

    Thanks ladies!!

    I realized after I posted this that it may be on the wrong board and I apologize for that now! I definitely did mean to undermind anything anyone is going through here. Please forgive me.

     We have talked many times... I just don't understand why he doesn't "get it". Or thinks it's overreaching when there's something not working. We'll deal with it... he'll deal with it. He's getting laid, right ;)

     Thanks again :)

    Doesn't matter the board, because we all started somewhere.  We did TI when we first started too.  It's just hard for me to remember what the issues were at that time.  I think the problem we had was one cycle we got in a fight and then were forced to have sex.... that was interesting.... LOL

     Hopefully he will do what needs to be done and you will have success soon!  GL!!

    TTC with Endo-DX-10 yrs ago
    IUI#1-April 2010- Clomid 100mg, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
    IUI #2- Cancelled due to cysts
    IUI #3- June 2010- Clomid, Ovidrel and timed intercourse= BFN
    Break due to DH deployment
    Lap #7 Dec 2010- this time my Colon was adhered to my abdominal wall
    Since the start of our journey, new issues along with original Endo, 3 MFI unexplained, Cervical Stenosis, AMH .08, Low AFC, 2 blocked tubes
    IVF #1 - ET 09/18-Transferred 2 Embryos
    Beta #1 09/29-23 Beta #2 10/01- 52 Beta #3 10/05-342!! Lil Cub born 5/20
    Report Reply
  • jessican08jessican08 member

    So sorry you're dealing with this. Once you start treatments, it can take a while for guys to "get onboard". I know it did with my H...

    And yes, we have MAJOR issues with TI. So much so that it often didn't work out for us because of the stress. I know that showing my H TheBump and all the ladies/couples that are in this situation helped make him feel less isolated. A lot of guys are surprised to learn how common IF issues are. GL hon ((HUGS)).

    TTC 12/2009
    Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
    IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
    E & C Born 10/19/2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • apollonia10apollonia10 member
    I try to keep DH on a "need to know" basis. I don't really tell him when or how often we need to BD ahead of time, because when we first started I had no tact - I showed him positive OPKs and wondered aloud how our timing would be. It put a lot of pressure on him and he'd get frustrated. Now I just try to spring it on him and initiate things. No complaints anymore!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • tmc79tmc79 member
    I am so happy that u posted this!  My DH is the same way! He doesnt like all of this IF stuff, i dunno if it makes him feel inferior or whatever, but i think he hates having "timed" sex--  guess it puts him "on the spot" or makes him feel presured. Whichever it is,HONESTLY, I am getting annoyed by it! Im almost relieved my dr. said we  need to do IUI, cuz i know he hates all of this timed intercourse. I am worried this all this IF stuff is going to hurt our relationship. Usually, we are amazing together, but ever since we've been trying, its a lil different. Dont get me wrong, I love my DH to death, but I feel this is affecting our relationship. Are u experiencing this as well?
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