Stubborn DD

This may be another "it is what it is" issue.  DD is stubborn beyond all definitions and explanations.  When she was in preschool at 2.5 she was an angel and a teacher's dream.  She was out of school for the spring and summer because we moved and had to wait for the new school year to start.  Now all I hear from her teachers are "Well, she certainly is stubborn!"  I don't get specifics, and it hurts to not hear how sweet she is and smart she is.  I guess it sounds like a "me" issue that I feel the need to hear those things, but that's neither here nor there at the moment.  She's stubborn at home, but was always agreeable and compliant for other adults.  Now, with the reports I'm getting from school I feel like I should be doing something about it, but really don't know what.  I raised her to be independent because I feel strongly that independent kids are self-motivated and self-confidant.  It also was pretty much a given with her gene pool  I don't want to break her of being independent, but want to work on the stubborness. Suggestions?  We talk about how it's important to listen to adult's first request, but she's 3.5- it doesn't seem to carry over to practice.  At home, if she doesn't follow my first request I lead her to what I want her to do and guide her in doing it.  DH tries to do this, too.  Other than being very and consistent, does anyone have any suggestions?  Books, activities, ways of making my point clear and lasting?  Thanks!

katie