"Just calling to see how you're doing..."

Alliebooberz · September 2011

Has anyone gotten these phone calls?

As soon as you say, "oh good...." And they take over the rest of the conversation talking to you about their previous pregnancies and everything they did and experienced... talking so much that you never actually get to talk about yourself.

I have had 4 of these phone calls so far. I get off the phone like O.O.

DH's Grandma even took the time to tell me in detail about her m/c in the 5th month. (Which actually, she was bleeding from the beginning and she didn't deliver a baby, she just bled which leads me to believe that she lost the baby early on and didn't pass it for a while.)

And I have begun to get guilt trips about what we are doing at the hospital.

kellymarie68 · September 2011

I do get these calls ---- but the most annoying is.... the father and I are not married. We will be but (sorry for being selfish), I do not want to remember my wedding with a baby bump. So we talked about getting married the next year (2013 maybe). His mother calls me and him every other day asking us when we are having the wedding... We both come from conservative Christian families but frankly, I don't think covering this surprise up with a wedding is going to fix anything. Everyone already knows the deed has been done so I want to wait and have a wedding without a huge round belly!!! Get off my back!!

jengelz · September 2011

I haven't had these calls... but when we told my Father in Law over the phone, he proceeded to tell me that he "had a preference" of gender, hair and eye color, and without using all of these words, not to get too fat.

I really wish I was kidding. Thank god we were on the phone because if this happened in person, I would've gone "crazy pregnant lady" on his butt! My husband and I just laughed it off.. his father is reaching 75 and is getting to that age where there is no longer a filter when they speak to people!

JocelynMcC · September 2011

jengelz:
I haven't had these calls... but when we told my Father in Law over the phone, he proceeded to tell me that he "had a preference" of gender, hair and eye color, and without using all of these words, not to get too fat.

I really wish I was kidding. Thank god we were on the phone because if this happened in person, I would've gone "crazy pregnant lady" on his butt! My husband and I just laughed it off.. his father is reaching 75 and is getting to that age where there is no longer a filter when they speak to people!

Dear Lord!!

PrettyBabyBlues · September 2011

kellymarie68:
I do get these calls ---- but the most annoying is.... the father and I are not married. We will be but (sorry for being selfish), I do not want to remember my wedding with a baby bump. So we talked about getting married the next year (2013 maybe). His mother calls me and him every other day asking us when we are having the wedding... We both come from conservative Christian families but frankly, I don't think covering this surprise up with a wedding is going to fix anything. Everyone already knows the deed has been done so I want to wait and have a wedding without a huge round belly!!! Get off my back!!

Indifferent Wow... There is nothing to "fix". You've been given a beautiful baby and you're with the father in a committed loving relationship that is going to be married. Who cares if it's in 3 months or 3 years. Do you think God really cares about the time difference? Sheesh.

Anyway, sorry you have to deal with that.

Alliebooberz · September 2011

PrettyBabyBlues:
kellymarie68:
I do get these calls ---- but the most annoying is.... the father and I are not married. We will be but (sorry for being selfish), I do not want to remember my wedding with a baby bump. So we talked about getting married the next year (2013 maybe). His mother calls me and him every other day asking us when we are having the wedding... We both come from conservative Christian families but frankly, I don't think covering this surprise up with a wedding is going to fix anything. Everyone already knows the deed has been done so I want to wait and have a wedding without a huge round belly!!! Get off my back!!

Wow... There is nothing to "fix". You've been given a beautiful baby and you're with the father in a committed loving relationship that is going to be married. Who cares if it's in 3 months or 3 years. Do you think God really cares about the time difference? Sheesh.

Anyway, sorry you have to deal with that.

Not to get all bible-y on ya... but technically the sin is having sex outside of marriage... and since that has already happened... you can't "fix" it by getting married. Now I'm firmly in the camp that sins are forgiven through Jesus not through actions though, so I might be a little too I don't even know what for this conversation... but I don't like it when Christians get a bad name for shotgun weddings and stuff. I feel like people miss the point sometimes and get all caught up in little trivial things. A sin is a sin is a sin... and Jesus forgives... and that's all there is to it.

MrsJetSet · September 2011

I don't get the followup part but my MIL is calling every three days now. I just ignored it last night. I wasn't in the mood. Can't she call DH to get the same info?

Joie80 · September 2011

I get the calling to see how I'm doing calls, but they usually appear to genuinely care about what's going on with me and the baby. My family is pretty close knit and it tears my mom up that I'm so far way during my pregnancy.

PrettyBabyBlues · September 2011

Alliebooberz:
PrettyBabyBlues:

kellymarie68:
I do get these calls ---- but the most annoying is.... the father and I are not married. We will be but (sorry for being selfish), I do not want to remember my wedding with a baby bump. So we talked about getting married the next year (2013 maybe). His mother calls me and him every other day asking us when we are having the wedding... We both come from conservative Christian families but frankly, I don't think covering this surprise up with a wedding is going to fix anything. Everyone already knows the deed has been done so I want to wait and have a wedding without a huge round belly!!! Get off my back!!

Wow... There is nothing to "fix". You've been given a beautiful baby and you're with the father in a committed loving relationship that is going to be married. Who cares if it's in 3 months or 3 years. Do you think God really cares about the time difference? Sheesh.

Anyway, sorry you have to deal with that.

Not to get all bible-y on ya... but technically the sin is having sex outside of marriage... and since that has already happened... you can't "fix" it by getting married. Now I'm firmly in the camp that sins are forgiven through Jesus not through actions though, so I might be a little too I don't even know what for this conversation... but I don't like it when Christians get a bad name for shotgun weddings and stuff. I feel like people miss the point sometimes and get all caught up in little trivial things. A sin is a sin is a sin... and Jesus forgives... and that's all there is to it.

Agreed, Jesus absolutely forgives sin - I'm not sure if you were disagreeing or adding on (not that it matters). But I believe that once God forgives there is no action we can do to redeem it, because it's already been redeemed - plus, that's all God's territory. Therefore, there is nothing to fix.

I'm a Christian too, and I feel like often we have our own "sacred cows" that we need to get over. For example, what gives them the right to pinpoint this, when in reality they got a closet full of sin in their own life. We shouldn't condemn someone or control someone to make a decision based on our belief because frankly - it's not our job (Think of the Parable Jesus spoke of about the sliver vs plank in someone's eye). Our job is to love God and love others. If her family truly wants to act "Christian" they should be appreciating the fact that she has a beautiful baby on the way and support her in her engagement instead of control when she does it. If God wants them to get married earlier it's His job to tell them that. Does that make sense?

Anywho... I just get all fired up when I see other fellow Christians condemn others (not that you were), when in reality God wants us to love wholeheartedly.

kiarstin · September 2011

kellymarie68:
I do get these calls ---- but the most annoying is.... the father and I are not married. We will be but (sorry for being selfish), I do not want to remember my wedding with a baby bump. So we talked about getting married the next year (2013 maybe). His mother calls me and him every other day asking us when we are having the wedding... We both come from conservative Christian families but frankly, I don't think covering this surprise up with a wedding is going to fix anything. Everyone already knows the deed has been done so I want to wait and have a wedding without a huge round belly!!! Get off my back!!

Good for you!! I have to say my wedding day was the best day of my life and I couldn't imagine being tired or sick or cranky or not able to drink with my friends. I put my dress on at 10:30 am and we partied all day went out after and hung out with friends at our house I didn't take my dress off until 3 am the next day (b/c as i put it, it meant my wedding day was over) that wouldn't have be possible if I was pregnant. I would tell them we are doing it next year now stop asking me!

Alliebooberz · September 2011

PrettyBabyBlues:
Anywho... I just get all fired up when I see other fellow Christians condemn others (not that you were), when in reality God wants us to love wholeheartedly.

Me too! I wasn't :P

and agreed.

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