Parenting

Flame away but I need serious advice... (long)

DD has never been a fan of getting her toenails (or fingernails for that matter) cut.  She will usually cry but I'll be able to get it done.  Well last night was TERRIBLE.  She desperately need her toenails cut.  They were growing up.  DH had been successful in the past at cutting her fingernails with out much of a fight so I asked him to try toenails.  Well at first it seemed like she'd go with it.  He cut his and let her watch and then he took out her small clippers, let her hold them for a second, and then attempted to cut hers.  She immediately started screaming crying.  She was flailing her legs and would not stop.  Making it impossible for him to do it.  After a few mins of the crying, I took her in my lap and made an attempt.  Same reaction.  Then I tried reading a story to distract her while DH tried again.  No dice.  She got upset to the point where she was just inconsolable.  She was basically foaming at the mouth and turning blotchy.  We both left her room and attempted to let her calm down.  We didn't hear anymore crying so we went back in.  I told her she could have her binky (which she only gets to sleep and LOVES) if she'd sit still while DH or I cut her toenails.  At first she seemed ok with this but the second we put the clipper near her toes, she started squirming uncontrolably and screaming again.  We literally tried EVERYTHING.  But there was no way that DH was going to go to bed last night without having cut DDs nails.  I had to leave the room becuse DD was so upset and it was making me upset.  When I was in the other room I guess DH ended up straddling DD and holding her legs down and just cutting her toenails while she screamed and cried and flailed.  I don't necessarily agree with this but I can't how it could have been done any other way.  Once it was done, DD stopped crying pretty quickly and took her bath and had fun.  DH felt absolutely horrible about the whole ordeal (as did I) and we had like an hour conversating before bed about it.  He was so shaken up that he had to put her through all of that.  But honestly how else are we supposed to get it done?  I'm just hoping that as she gets older maybe she will realize that its not that bad.  We've never cut her or anything so I don't know what she is so afraid of.  There really just has to be a better way.  I can't be taking over an hour of screaming, crying and flailing each time she needs her toenails cut.  What am I doing wrong?

Re: Flame away but I need serious advice... (long)

  • DS is the same way.  The only way I can clip them is in the carseat or when he's asleep.  On a good day, I can get maybe 2 fingers done before he flips out.  I guess maybe doing it more often would help her get use to it?  Sorry you had to go through that!
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  • I don't see any reason to flame you. It can be very painful for her if her toenails get too long.

    I do think that making it such a traumatic experience (not that "you" made it that way, that's just how it turned out) wont help.

    Can you try when she is sleeping? Or just getting one nail a day?

    I don't have any great advice to give, DS has always been a perfect angel about getting his nails clipped.

  • Oy, Mia hates this too but luckily hers are thin enough that they tend to rip off with her socks. I have only cut them once in her 2yrs and 4months!

    Maybe you could try using nail scissors instead of the clippers? It's possible that she just doesn't like the clippers. Either that or try to do it while she naps?

    Mia (6~24~06) & Jillian (6~29~09)
  • could you try doing it when she is sleeping. ?It is normal for them to be scared of clipping nails and getting haircuts. ?Sometimes the don't understand that it doesn't hurt and i will grow back. ?they just see it as part of their bodies being cut
  • I have to fight Brooke every time too.  I just hold her down as best I can and do it.  I've cut her while doing it too but eventually she'll figure it out that if she cooperates, she doens't get cut and it goes much faster.
  • Reagan was exactly like that about her nails and brushing her teeth for a while.  Luckily, she got over the nail thing pretty quickly.  I usually strap her into her high chair and put Dora on.  That usually distracts her enough that I can do her toenails by myself (there's still kicking and squirming involved, but its manageable)

    The teeth...well, that went on for weeks.  It would take DH and I both to hold her so that we could brush them.  We hated it, but it needed to be done.  Gradually, she got better about it, and now very rarely do we need to hold her.  I think she just needs to learn that its something that does need to happen, and that it won't hurt.  Hopefully, she will just get used to it eventually.

    Sorry, I know that's not great advice, but I know how it feels, and just want you to know that it will get better and she will not hate you for it! 

  • Could you try filing them instead of cutting them? Maybe she's afraid of the clippers for some reason?
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  • The more you do it, the better it will get.  DD used to be like that and she's pretty much given up now.  I try to count to them while I do it to take their mind off of it, that seems to work. 

    Don't feel bad about having to hold her down, though.  You have to do what you have to do.  I have to stradle DS to give him eye drops.  He needs the eye drops now matter how upset it makes him. 

  • I usuallt cut DS's while he watches TV. It's the only way to keep him from screaming about it.  They make some that are shaped like bumble bees.  Maybe that would amuse her?  Like the pp said, it don't think it is anyhting to flame about at all.  It needed to be done and you did it the only way you could.
    Kelly, Mom to Noah 8.27.05 (born at 26 weeks)
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  • I always do it when DS is asleep.
  • this sounds like a scene from OUR house.  However, my DH refuses to do it, leaving the job to me and only me ;P  He helps to keep her occupied for the most part.

    We generally clip her nails when she is strapped into her booster seat.  Fingernails she will tolerate for the most part - she does protest, but I can usually get this done.  Toenails are a HUGE battle - I at one point would crawl under the table so she couldn't see me and have her daddy hold one foot and distract her.  This stopped working and now I have to just take any openings I can get.  Last night, we clipped most of her toenails while she sat on the potty before bathtime.  But Hilarie told me when I was finished ;P

    Don't feel bad, my neighbor down the street told me she doesn't even try anymore!

  • No flaming - it has to be done.  DH usually holds DS's legs while I cut them.  We sing songs and count his toes while we do it...that helps.
  • For awhile there I was straddling DS holding him down to clip his nails!!  I'd just do it as quickly as possible and get it over with.  Lately he's been really good about it without all the screaming!
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    Liam is 5!
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  • Bribery + game playing and/or song singing works for most obstacles in our house.  DD was the same way about getting her nails clipped for a while until we started singing the 'Thumbkin' song as we do her fingers and 'This Little Piggy' as we do her toes.  Fruit snacks are her weakness.  I can usually get her to do anything I want her to do if I offer a pouch of them!

    Good luck!

    ~Amanda
    Mom to Lily Gayle 4.25.06 Charlotte Kathleen 3.27.09 Samuel Thomas ~8.4.12~
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  • I'm late with my response.  But we've had to do the same some times in our house.  I don't know if it is all kid's nails, but DD's grown inward quickly so I need to cut nails often. She hates it and there is nothing that really has worked so far except fighting and moving quickly.  Doing it while she slept worked for a bit, but not with winter footie jammies on, that isn't an option. 
  • most of the time DD thows a fit.  But lately I have been giving her a TO for throwing an absolute tantrum.  As soon as her 2 mins is up, she comes back sits down quietly and I clip away. 
  • Maybe she'd let you do it if you painted each toenail afterwards?  Make a big deal of how pretty they are?

     

    I dunno - call me heartless, but the scene you described is pretty much how toothbrushing went around here for a long time, and that was every night.  But it was necessary, and I wasn't going to slack on healthcare just because they were contrary.

    Jenni ~~Alex & Avery ~~ 6/13/06~~Adam ~~3/26/08

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  • Is she a sound sleeper?  Maybe you could do them while she was sleeping?  I bribe my son with the tv :)
  • My son is the same way.  I am glad I'm not alone. 
    I have resorted to bribing him with suckers.  I let him have a sucker while I clip the nails.  He still resists and whines about it, but it isn't nearly as bad!
    Mom to Alex - 8.29.06, Foster - 1.22.09, Emily - 6.24.11 imageimageLilypie First Birthday tickers
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