I really think what you wrote in Jessuhmarie's post is EXACTLY on point and well written.
It isn't about necessarily apologizing for writing the post, but it is about what you said in the post I referred to above. You said that you were sorry if your post hurt anyone's feelings. That is really what at least, I, was looking for. Just basic understanding and acknowledgment that your post, though unintentional, really hurt a lot of people who have gone through baby-losses' feelings.
We flare up quick but we also get over it quick. I swear if you copy/paste what you wrote in jessuhmarie's page to you on a thread, most of the women who got angry would see where you were coming from and that you aren't being hardheaded when we are hurt.
There was drama, but it's all said and done, now, so please nobody bring it back up. She apologized for the misunderstanding and I know how she feels about wanting to leave the boards, now. When I was over at The Knot, the drama was too intense at times and if she's not familiar with online forums like this, it can seem pretty ridiculous when a misunderstanding leads to somewhat nasty or irate comments.
Megan, please don't leave because of this. In an hour it will be water under the bridge. I believe that this board is going to be a great support for us first time moms and will be fun to see what other women on the same track as us are experiencing or what we have to look forward to in a couple of weeks, etc.
Just give it another chance. No one is going to hold a grudge.
BFP #1 9-15-11; EDD 5-28-12. US 6w2d, growth
BFP #2 12-6-11 and 12-7-11; EDD 8-17-12. US 6w6d measuring 5w6d. Misoprostol Assisted m/c 1-16-12 at 9w3d.
There was drama, but it's all said and done, now, so please nobody bring it back up. She apologized for the misunderstanding and I know how she feels about wanting to leave the boards, now. When I was over at The Knot, the drama was too intense at times and if she's not familiar with online forums like this, it can seem pretty ridiculous when a misunderstanding leads to somewhat nasty or irate comments.
Megan, please don't leave because of this. In an hour it will be water under the bridge. I believe that this board is going to be a great support for us first time moms and will be fun to see what other women on the same track as us are experiencing or what we have to look forward to in a couple of weeks, etc.
Just give it another chance. No one is going to hold a grudge.
You are asking for everyone to let it go and no one to bring it up and then go on to explain your opinion on things. Perhaps you should follow your own advice.
There was drama, but it's all said and done, now, so please nobody bring it back up. She apologized for the misunderstanding and I know how she feels about wanting to leave the boards, now. When I was over at The Knot, the drama was too intense at times and if she's not familiar with online forums like this, it can seem pretty ridiculous when a misunderstanding leads to somewhat nasty or irate comments.
Megan, please don't leave because of this. In an hour it will be water under the bridge. I believe that this board is going to be a great support for us first time moms and will be fun to see what other women on the same track as us are experiencing or what we have to look forward to in a couple of weeks, etc.
Just give it another chance. No one is going to hold a grudge.
Honestly, her comments were very hurtful and insensitive. Then she said she didn't think she needed to apologize. Then she DD'd all of her posts and only apologized when someone called her out for DDing. And now she is GBCB. Seriously, stop DDing, put on your BGP and deal with the fact you offended and alienated several people.
Married 9/19/09
BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
I don't think you meant to be mean with what you wrote. I think sometimes written words just come across wrong. It has happened to me many times.
I feel bad for you for how attacked you were. You never even got to explain what you wrote. Some people do take things very personal and some just like drama sadly.
I don't know you, but I doubt you would tell a person IRL " don't tell me about your miscarriage.. I can't listen... I am afraid of losing MY baby"
Again.. it comes down to people making assumptions. Maybe I am just too much of a glass is half full person, but I really felt like you were trying to share YOUR fears of miscarriage and the words just came out wrong. Seeing others who have lost their baby is a reminder that it can happen to any of us. I have had friends lose babies very late (21 and 24 weeks.. my one friend had a stillborn this summer.. so incredibly sad.) Anyway, every baby passing is a sad reminder that it DOES happen. Contagious, no.. but an ever present reminder. I am sure the reminder is horribly sad and scary for those who have had a loss.. and their fear has to be SO high.
Anyway, hopefully you will be able to find a board where you feel safe if you do not feel safe here.
GL with your pergnancy! I hope everything turns out OK for you.
I don't think you meant to be mean with what you wrote. I think sometimes written words just come across wrong. It has happened to me many times.
I feel bad for you for how attacked you were. You never even got to explain what you wrote. Some people do take things very personal and some just like drama sadly.
I don't know you, but I doubt you would tell a person IRL " don't tell me about your miscarriage.. I can't listen... I am afraid of losing MY baby"
Again.. it comes down to people making assumptions. Maybe I am just too much of a glass is half full person, but I really felt like you were trying to share YOUR fears of miscarriage and the words just came out wrong. Seeing others who have lost there baby is a reminder that it can happen to any of us. I have had freinds lose babies very late (21 and 24 weeks.. my one friend had a stillborn this summer.. so incredibly sad.) Anyway, every baby passing is a sad reminder that it DOES happen. Contagious, no.. but an ever present reminder. I am sure the reminder is horribly sad and scary for those who have had a loss.. and their fear has to be SO high.
Anyway, hopefully you will be able to find a board where you feel safe if you do not feel safe here.
GL with your pergnancy! I hope everything turns out OK for you.
I get what you are saying, but I have issues with the bolded. She had plenty of opportunities to explain herself yesterday after she posted the original post and again today. She choose not to. She choose to DD and GBCB instead.
Married 9/19/09
BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
I don't think you meant to be mean with what you wrote. I think sometimes written words just come across wrong. It has happened to me many times.
I feel bad for you for how attacked you were. You never even got to explain what you wrote. Some people do take things very personal and some just like drama sadly.
I don't know you, but I doubt you would tell a person IRL " don't tell me about your miscarriage.. I can't listen... I am afraid of losing MY baby"
Again.. it comes down to people making assumptions. Maybe I am just too much of a glass is half full person, but I really felt like you were trying to share YOUR fears of miscarriage and the words just came out wrong. Seeing others who have lost there baby is a reminder that it can happen to any of us. I have had freinds lose babies very late (21 and 24 weeks.. my one friend had a stillborn this summer.. so incredibly sad.) Anyway, every baby passing is a sad reminder that it DOES happen. Contagious, no.. but an ever present reminder. I am sure the reminder is horribly sad and scary for those who have had a loss.. and their fear has to be SO high.
Anyway, hopefully you will be able to find a board where you feel safe if you do not feel safe here.
GL with your pergnancy! I hope everything turns out OK for you.
If she wouldn't say it IRL, then why say it here? We ARE real people?
She wasn't attacked. We explained our side and then it got heated between people defending the position and her post instead of just learning what it feels like to be a woman who has had a loss.
Your friends have lost babies, not you, so you have no clue what you are talking about.
This whole coddling attitude is really not helpful. You are late to the conversation so why give your whole opinion this late in the game?
Fair enough with the bolded... you are right she COULD have tried to explain.. it is however hard to explain and make things right when things have already snowballed. But yes, you are correct. I did not write that correctly. ( again.. sometimes typing things is hard to portray what one really means.)
It will be good for this event to be behind everyone. I think many people got upset/ hurt over this. .
Fair enough with the bolded... you are right she COULD have tried to explain.. it is however hard to explain and make things right when things have already snowballed. But yes, you are correct. I did not write that correctly. ( again.. sometimes typing things is hard to portray what one really means.)
It will be good for this event to be behind everyone. I think many people got upset/ hurt over this. .
DD = Dirty Delete (when someone deletes their post because of drama)
GBCB = Good Bye Cruel Bump (when someone announces they are leaving because of drama they are involved in or started)
BFP #1 9-15-11; EDD 5-28-12. US 6w2d, growth
BFP #2 12-6-11 and 12-7-11; EDD 8-17-12. US 6w6d measuring 5w6d. Misoprostol Assisted m/c 1-16-12 at 9w3d.
Re: Good bye
Open Heart Surgery @ 5 months old.Happy, healthy, and as normal as could be! We thank God every day.EP/BF for 12.5 months
TTC#2 - November 2012
BFP #4: O'd on CD25 (Aug. 2014). DD May 6, 2015. RCS planned.
Beta@14dpo: 184, 17dpo: 520. 44 hr. doubling time. p4: 54U/S 8 weeks 1 day, 161 bpm
Megan,
I really think what you wrote in Jessuhmarie's post is EXACTLY on point and well written.
It isn't about necessarily apologizing for writing the post, but it is about what you said in the post I referred to above. You said that you were sorry if your post hurt anyone's feelings. That is really what at least, I, was looking for. Just basic understanding and acknowledgment that your post, though unintentional, really hurt a lot of people who have gone through baby-losses' feelings.
We flare up quick but we also get over it quick. I swear if you copy/paste what you wrote in jessuhmarie's page to you on a thread, most of the women who got angry would see where you were coming from and that you aren't being hardheaded when we are hurt.
hopefulmom
Wow, I must have missed something.
Is she not miscarrying? Why is she creating drama?
Open Heart Surgery @ 5 months old.Happy, healthy, and as normal as could be! We thank God every day.EP/BF for 12.5 months
TTC#2 - November 2012
BFP #4: O'd on CD25 (Aug. 2014). DD May 6, 2015. RCS planned.
Beta@14dpo: 184, 17dpo: 520. 44 hr. doubling time. p4: 54U/S 8 weeks 1 day, 161 bpm
There was drama, but it's all said and done, now, so please nobody bring it back up. She apologized for the misunderstanding and I know how she feels about wanting to leave the boards, now. When I was over at The Knot, the drama was too intense at times and if she's not familiar with online forums like this, it can seem pretty ridiculous when a misunderstanding leads to somewhat nasty or irate comments.
Megan, please don't leave because of this. In an hour it will be water under the bridge. I believe that this board is going to be a great support for us first time moms and will be fun to see what other women on the same track as us are experiencing or what we have to look forward to in a couple of weeks, etc.
Just give it another chance. No one is going to hold a grudge.
BFP #2 12-6-11 and 12-7-11; EDD 8-17-12. US 6w6d measuring 5w6d. Misoprostol Assisted m/c 1-16-12 at 9w3d.
<a href="http://s109.photobucket.com/albums/n56/katharine25/?action=view
You are asking for everyone to let it go and no one to bring it up and then go on to explain your opinion on things. Perhaps you should follow your own advice.
bfp 1 - m/c 1.31.11 @ 10 weeks
bfp 2 - baby born via c-section on 5.4.12 @ 37 weeks
bfp 3 - blighted ovum/d&c on 4.13.13 @ 8 weeks
bfp 4 - 3rd IUI, very late BFN with super low P, c/p
bfp 5 - natural bfp while on lupron, baby born via RCS on 4.27.15 @ 39 weeks
bfp 6 - surprise! baby born via RCS on 11.13.16 @ 38 weeks
Honestly, her comments were very hurtful and insensitive. Then she said she didn't think she needed to apologize. Then she DD'd all of her posts and only apologized when someone called her out for DDing. And now she is GBCB. Seriously, stop DDing, put on your BGP and deal with the fact you offended and alienated several people.
BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
I am sorry you feel the need to go.
I don't think you meant to be mean with what you wrote. I think sometimes written words just come across wrong. It has happened to me many times.
I feel bad for you for how attacked you were. You never even got to explain what you wrote. Some people do take things very personal and some just like drama sadly.
I don't know you, but I doubt you would tell a person IRL " don't tell me about your miscarriage.. I can't listen... I am afraid of losing MY baby"
Again.. it comes down to people making assumptions. Maybe I am just too much of a glass is half full person, but I really felt like you were trying to share YOUR fears of miscarriage and the words just came out wrong. Seeing others who have lost their baby is a reminder that it can happen to any of us. I have had friends lose babies very late (21 and 24 weeks.. my one friend had a stillborn this summer.. so incredibly sad.) Anyway, every baby passing is a sad reminder that it DOES happen. Contagious, no.. but an ever present reminder. I am sure the reminder is horribly sad and scary for those who have had a loss.. and their fear has to be SO high.
Anyway, hopefully you will be able to find a board where you feel safe if you do not feel safe here.
GL with your pergnancy! I hope everything turns out OK for you.
I get what you are saying, but I have issues with the bolded. She had plenty of opportunities to explain herself yesterday after she posted the original post and again today. She choose not to. She choose to DD and GBCB instead.
BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
If she wouldn't say it IRL, then why say it here? We ARE real people?
She wasn't attacked. We explained our side and then it got heated between people defending the position and her post instead of just learning what it feels like to be a woman who has had a loss.
Your friends have lost babies, not you, so you have no clue what you are talking about.
This whole coddling attitude is really not helpful. You are late to the conversation so why give your whole opinion this late in the game?
I know, right?
I don't know what DD and GBCB mean.
Fair enough with the bolded... you are right she COULD have tried to explain.. it is however hard to explain and make things right when things have already snowballed. But yes, you are correct. I did not write that correctly. ( again.. sometimes typing things is hard to portray what one really means.)
It will be good for this event to be behind everyone. I think many people got upset/ hurt over this.
.
DD = Dirty Delete (when someone deletes their post because of drama)
GBCB = Good Bye Cruel Bump (when someone announces they are leaving because of drama they are involved in or started)
BFP #2 12-6-11 and 12-7-11; EDD 8-17-12. US 6w6d measuring 5w6d. Misoprostol Assisted m/c 1-16-12 at 9w3d.
<a href="http://s109.photobucket.com/albums/n56/katharine25/?action=view